Have you noticed your need for more solitude has increased in the last couple of years? Many of us are facing more difficult emotional and mental challenges, making it necessary to step away from others to process them.

Some Possible Emotional and Mental Challenges

• Job loss
• Breakups
• Death of a loved one
• Career change
• New laws, policies, or procedures
• Difficult relationships
• Illness or injury
• Retirement

Adding more alone time to our lives certainly has its advantages, but it requires some awareness, acceptance, and a willingness to change.

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7 Things That You Might Experience with More Alone Time

The First Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

1   WE SLOW DOWN

Alone time gives us permission to slow down and relax, both mentally and physically. This may take a while, especially if we’re all wound up.

Advantages of Slowing Down

We…

• Have the opportunity to go at our own pace.
• Realize hardly anything is really urgent.
• Our ability to focus is easier, the quality of the results is higher, and we make fewer mistakes.
• Spend less money on drinks to boost our energy.

Disadvantages of Slowing Down

We Might Have to…

• Stop or limit our need to please or meet others’ expectations.
• Confront our fear of missing out and trust that whatever we are meant to have will come to us in spite of slowing down.
• Re-examine our need to prove our worth by how much we “do.” We think infants are worthy because they exist, and they don’t “do” much at all.
• Be patient. Impatience is wanting immediate results, and not paying much attention to the experiences along the way.
• Drop the guilt. Guilt is only a rule we made up to follow, and when we break it, we feel guilty or bad. An example is, “A good mother… can do it all.” Not only is that impossible, but we’re teaching our kids by example that they can’t slow down either. That’s why most of us, no matter what generation, are crazy busy.

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Another Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

2  WE FEEL MORE FREEDOM

Solitude offers the opportunity to be free to do what we want, when we want, without the influence of others. Whether we let ourselves take advantage of it is another story.

Wanting more alone time is probably a huge reason why women are opting out of marriage and having children—the freedom a single life can provide.

Advantages of Feeling More Freedom

More freedom provides the opportunity to…

• Engage in activities, relationships, careers, and lifestyles that resonate with us.
• Increase our self-sufficiency resources, skills, and emotional well-being.
• Feel confident to act without relying on others to reassure us.
• Reconnect with our true desires and dreams.
• Be more authentic.
• Make our own decisions about how to live.

Disadvantages of Feeling More Freedom

• There is an increased responsibility to make choices and bear the consequences of them.
• Because of the lack of guidance, there is usually more uncertainty.
• It can make us face our excuse of blaming others to justify our behavior.
• We may have to learn how to set boundaries and say “NO” more often.

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Another Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

3   WE CAN DISCOVER WHO WE ARE

Probably the majority of us have no idea how much others influence us. From the time we were born, others have affected our behaviors, beliefs, and dreams.  More alone time helps us break free and discover who we really are.

If we spend too much time with others, we might tend to live only as they do, and not think as we think. Have the majority of us let the influence of others remove us from ourselves and rob us of our souls?”

Advantages of Discovering Who We Are

• It allows us to be aware of our sense of self, the part of ourselves we often hide when we are with other people.
• Instead of listening to others, it gives us a chance to listen to the voice of our conscience.
• We often have more genuine relationships and deeper connections with others.
• By identifying what truly matters to us, we experience less anxiety, greater satisfaction, and increased happiness.

 Disadvantages of Discovering Who We Are

Self-discovery…

• Will often clash with group conformity, such as organized religion, corporate cultures, and even some government laws. Discovering who we are puts our sense of self as a higher priority than social acceptance.
• Can bring up a feeling that we are selfish. If we think about it, how can it be selfish to wish that others also be free to discover who they are?
• Might temporarily bring up the fear of social isolation—the fear of being lonely or disconnected. But it does just the opposite. As we discover who we are, it makes our connections with others more authentic.

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Another Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

4   WE PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE SMALL THINGS

Solitude often opens our eyes to the little details. When we are alone, it’s easier to absorb and appreciate our surroundings.

Advantages of Paying Attention to the Small Things

We…

• Pay more attention to our thoughts and feelings.
• Can be aware of things, experiences, and the people that bring us peace and we are grateful for.
• Find ourselves more creative than usual. Maybe in trying a new recipe, attempting to repair things, changing up routines, reading different materials, or listening to an alternative music genre.

Disadvantages of Paying Attention to the Small Things

We…

• Can go overboard trying to make every little small thing perfect. Our need to be perfect may cause us to keep redoing tasks or not finish projects.
• Might get so stressed out and overwhelmed with too much information that we delay even starting a project. The way to get beyond the overwhelm is to break it up into even smaller pieces and work on one thing at a time.

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 Another Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

5   WE SEE MORE PATTERNS

Alone time makes it easier to improve our ability to be aware of subtle cues, patterns, and synchronicities. There are hundreds every day. There are no accidents.

Solitude helps us be aware that there is a higher energy that orchestrates a course of events so intertwined that it is sometimes beyond our comprehension. We may not understand the events, but everything every day is working in everyone’s highest good.

Advantages of Seeing the Patterns

Noticing patterns helps us…

• Get clarity about what’s happening. Sometimes the more we know about an event, the more we can understand why it’s happening.
• Acquire foresight about upcoming events.
• Develop insight into what we need to change our minds about. Changing our perspective about what’s happening can give us even more insights.

Disadvantage of Seeing the Patterns

Noticing patterns may bring up…

• The darkness in us. We can let ourselves take things at face value and get wrapped up in what seems to be doom and gloom. There is always a higher purpose to everything. Some people need tough experiences to change their minds about things. Often, the most significant changes in people’s beliefs occur when they are under the most emotional and mental challenges. Then, there are some people who would rather die than change their minds.

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 Another Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

6   OUR INNER ISSUES WILL RISE TO THE SURFACE  

More alone time can cause those mental issues we have buried to reappear. Grievances, past hurts, fears, regrets, feelings of unworthiness, and biases will surface in order to finally transform them for good.

Advantages of Our Inner Issues Rising

The advantages come about when we use the issues that surface to change our perception and get rid of them for good.

We will experience…

• Relief from built-up negative emotions.
• Insight and clarity on the past events we weren’t willing to see before.
• A feeling of connection with our sense of self and with others.

Disadvantages of Our Inner Issues Rising

The disadvantages come about when we use the issues that surface to punish or hurt ourselves or others in some way.

When we…

• Use the issue for the purpose of making others or ourselves feel guilty or worse about it. This will increase OUR (not necessarily anyone else’s) anger, fear of retaliation, anxiety, and depression.
• Punish ourselves or others by letting our addictions or habits get out of hand, such as drinking, overeating, taking pills, using drugs, shopping, smoking, playing games, gambling, binge-watching, overworking, and over-exercising.

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 Another Thing that We Might Experience with More Alone Time is…

7  WE FIND A COMPANION IN SOLITUDE

Alone time allows the deep inner voice of our own true self or a higher energy to be heard.

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SUMMARY

We may not all need to do 40 days and 40 nights in isolation, but there are some definite advantages in getting more alone time, especially now.

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I have two QUIZZES that may help you adjust to more alone time…

Is the Changing World Stressing You Out?

How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition?

Also, check out the Inner Work and Intuition sections on my website.

And, if you need an advisor to help you on your quest, contact Vickie Champion for a coaching and consulting session at a discounted price.