Vickie Champion

"I inspire and strengthen lives one thought at a time."

Ways to Get Yourself Out of Fear, Anxiety, and Worry

With everything changing so quickly, it’s easy to stay awake worrying about what tomorrow will bring, get physically ill, or even have full blown anxiety attacks.

Here are Some Ways to Get Yourself Out of Fear, Anxiety, and Worry…

1   Playing or Listening to Music-

Music calms our nerves, changes our mood, and gives us amazing “aha” moments. The key is to pay attention to how you feel when playing or listening to your favorite songs. Do they make you feel better or worse?

If you get into songs that make you feel worse, it will escalate your fear making you more doubtful, insecure, angry, and downright depressed. Watch out for love songs! Most are written about love going wrong or the painful part of their relationship.

But, if you get into songs that make you feel better, it will make your fear disappear, making you more hopeful, relaxed, inspired, and able to listen to your inner guide or intuition.

2   Getting Physical-

Any form of physical activity can help. Repetitive exercises, such as walking, running, or riding a bike are especially good—not only for releasing the fear but also for awakening your intuition or inner guide. Many times, answers to problems come during physical activity. If you can get out in nature, that’s even better.

3   Decluttering-

Clearing out your physical space also helps clear out your fearful head space, leaving room for those intuitive solutions and ideas.

Lots of times we keep things hanging around that make us feel bad about ourselves or our lives. We don’t realize they can affect our state of mind. These items could be things that remind us of difficult relationships, regrets, bad experiences, and past mistakes.

4   Take Time to Ask-

Whenever we ask (God, Divine, Spirit, Universe, Intuition, Inner Guide or whatever else you want to call that higher power that knows way more than we do), we will receive. Sometimes just thinking or saying “help” relieves the fear.

5   Sitting in Silence and Doing Nothing-

Whether it’s staring out the window or sitting on the front porch listening to the birds, somehow it releases the fear and clears enough space for our intuition to awaken.

If these suggestions don’t relieve you, everywhere you turn there are methods and people to help get rid of the fear, worry, and anxiety. Just use your inner guidance and dig in to what feels right. I offer two more ways other than reading my blogs and videos…

Individual Coaching

Coaching consists of 45-minute sessions over the phone (within the United States and Canada). For a complimentary coaching and consulting session, contact Vickie Champion.

And the

Feel Worthy Self-Study Course

This self-study course helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and what’s happening in the world. You will be able to change your perspective to be free of fear, worry, and anxiety. For more details.

21 Things That Can Cause INFJs to Feel Exhausted or Drained

INFJ personality types (according to the MBTI personality test) are very sensitive to the energy of others and their environment. This makes certain situations depleting and sometimes extremely difficult for an INFJ.

Here’s a List of Some of the Things That Cause INFJs to Feel Exhausted or Drained…

  • Someone wanting their constant attention.
  • Making small talk, such as discussing the weather, what they had for lunch, or what they are going to do today. Essentially conversations from the head, not the heart deplete INFJs.
  • Environmental distractions, such as loud noises, strong smells, or scratchy fabrics. Of course, the more intense the distraction and longer it lasts, the more taxing.
  • Social events, especially when they involve being in large groups or around negative people.
  • Being criticized for not being able to get out of their head, obsessing, or thinking so much.
  • Not having a sanctuary or a safe space of their own.
  • Being stretched too thin or having back-to-back obligations.
  • Having to make decisions before they have time to think it over. INFJs don’t do well with acting before they think.
  • When their physical world (what we see, hear, smell, and touch) is unstable, like not having enough money, an ongoing problem, or a loved one’s illness.
  • Relationship conflict or misunderstandings, especially if they have no closure.
  • Being indecisive. This goes back to the two previous points. INFJs need stability and closure to stop feeling depleted.
  • Being around negative people for any length of time or watching the news can be very draining.
  • INFJs are organizers. So, it would make sense that any kind of disorganization would mess with their minds.
  • Trying to dismiss how they feel. To an INFJ, ignoring what comes from the heart is cutting off their energy source.
  • Not having big blocks of time on their own with no interruptions.
  • Dishonesty. This can mean others not telling the truth, or denying their own truth to themselves.
  • Not talking to others about meaningful subjects. It’s often difficult for INFJs to fully understand their own thoughts and feelings without the input of others. Many of my coaching clients and friends are INFJs.
  • Soaking up other’s emotional storms. It’s easy for INFJs to feel others trauma or crisis, and become just as stressed.
  • Trying to do things without passion. In other words, trying to settle for mediocre. INFJs are “all or nothing” types.
  • Denying their intuition or inner guide. Recognizing signs from the universe, getting “aha” moment’s, and having sudden insights or “flashes” energize INFJs.
  • Judging or doubting themselves. Because INFJs often sense things before they see evidence of them, they can get carried away in self-doubt, even to the point they feel like an undeserving or unworthy person.

Are You an INFJ who is Ready to Feel Worthy?

This self-study course helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and the world around you. You will be able to end the need to doubt yourself and finally feel worthy.  For more details.

Also, check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

If you need more help feeling worthy, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

INFJs: 9 Reasons Meaningful Conversations Are Important

INFJ personality types (according to the MBTI test) love to get lost in their own thoughts and do well with very little social interaction. But there is one thing they don’t do well with—not having heart-to-heart discussions. Below are some reasons why connecting with others at a deep level is significant for the well-being of INFJs.

Meaningful Conversations help INFJs…

1   FEEL CONNECTED TO OTHERS-

Shallow and menial conversations of everyday life can confuse and frustrate INFJs, making them feel disconnected. But, connecting with others at a deep level does just the opposite.

2   SHARE WITH OTHERS-

INFJs have a strong desire to teach, advise, and instruct others. Usually when INFJs speak—people listen.

3   GET CONFIRMATION-

INFJs have a tendency to be tough on themselves and have lots of self-doubt. They often find support in talking to other people they trust or respect.

4   FIND PIECES TO PUZZLES-

Often deep conversations add missing pieces to INFJ’s theories to help them see the bigger picture.  They can often experience “aha” moments and get hunches during discussions.

5   KNOW OTHERS-

INFJs have a strong desire to know others at the deepest and sincerest level possible. The results are therapy-like conversations.

6   SEE EVIDENCE-

INFJs are highly intuitive and often can know things before they happen. Heart-to-heart talks can reveal proof of their insights. This helps them to stop second-guessing themselves and build trust in their inner guide.

7   AVOID INSOLATION DISEASE –

Even though INFJs can be hermit-like, they need social interactions to stay fulfilled. Because they thrive on deep connections, too much time alone can leave them feeling fearful, lost, and depressed.

8   LEARN-

INFJs have a drive to progress, grow, and better themselves. They need to take on new challenges to their thinking regularly, and meaningful conversations are part of that.

9   COME ALIVE-

Let’s face it, finding connections and having deep relationships mean everything to an INFJ. Without them, they tend to lose their life’s purpose and feel unworthy.

Are You an INFJ who is Ready to Really Feel Worthy?

This self-study course helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and the world around you. You will be able to end the need to doubt yourself and finally feel worthy.  For more details.

Also, check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

If you need more help feeling worthy, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

Why A Course in Miracles Can Help INFJ Personality Types

I recently came across a book on MBTI Personality Types where the author suggested that Jesus might have been an INFJ. When I read the word Jesus, I got a mini “aha.” I knew it was something I needed to consider and that it was possibly another piece to connect in my own enlightenment journey.

I am an INFJ, and for over 30 years, I have been passionate about A Course of Miracles (ACIM), which was channeled from Jesus.

Here’s Why I Think “A Course in Miracles” Can Help INFJ Personality Types…  

INFJs…

1   Think a Lot- ACIM is a course in mind-training. It’s perfect for someone who spends so much time in thought.

2   Are Prone to Analyze and Play Devil’s Advocate- ACIM takes one concept, “all there is, is love,” and approaches it from 100s of different angles.

3   Get Energy in Solitude- ACIM is a self-study course that offers that much needed time alone for reflection and gives us plenty of “ahas” with it.

4   Need a Cause- There probably isn’t a cause much higher than getting rid of the ego and learning how to be Jesus-like.

5   Are Eager to Do Their Inner Work- ACIM provides plenty of that. On top of the 365 workbook lessons, there are 100s of concepts to help us retrain our thoughts and perceptions about ourselves, others, God, and the world around us. The best part is observing ourselves changing as we implement the concepts—letting go of our fears and accepting the love.

6   Want to Have Deep, Meaningful Relationships- ACIM provides a mindset to take every relationship to the highest level possible, to love without any conditions.

7   Are Called “the Counselors” and are Fond of Teaching, Advising, and Guiding- There are several places throughout ACIM that suggest the idea of teaching. It even has a section called “Manual for Teachers.”

 

If you are one of the few INFJs that haven’t heard of A Course in Miracles, you might want to check it out.

FREE Help!

If you need help understanding A Course of Miracles concepts and live in the United States or Canada, contact Vickie for a complimentary phone conversation.

 

Best Spiritual Movies 1982-2019

There are all sorts of feel good spiritual movies out there, especially those about the Christian faith. There are gobs of movies with scenes with a spiritual message. I chose to list movies that are not about a certain religion, but ones that are full of general spiritual content.

Here’s my Criteria…

WHAT I LEFT OUT

  • Documentaries
  • Christian themed
  • Animations
  • Lifetime TV movies
  • Movies using spiritual powers to promote corruption or violence.

 

WHAT I DID INCLUDE

I listed movies that…

  • Showed the power of our thoughts.
  • Points out that everything has a purpose.
  • Some of the characters take action in spite of their fear.
  • Had faith in something without seeing evidence of it.
  • Had one or more of the characters follow their intuition, inner guidance, Divine, Source, Spirit, Universe, Guides, Angels, Higher Power, God’s voice, or whatever you want to call that higher source that knows way more than we do.

 

Here’s My Pick for the Best Spiritual Movies from 1982-2019…

1    As It Is in Heaven  2004  (By far the best)

2    Castaway 2000

3    Peaceful Warrior 2006

4    Groundhog Day 1993

5    Little Boy  2015

6    Field of Dreams 1989

7    Gandhi 1982 (True Story)

8    The Legend of Bagger Vance  2000

9    Hacksaw Ridge 2016 (True Story)

10   Bruce Almighty 2003

11   Always 1989

12   Defending Your Life 1991

13   Contact 1997

14   Seven Years in Tibet 1997 (True Story)

15   Conversations with God  2006 (True Story)

16   Just Like Heaven  2005

17   Somewhere in Time  1980

18   Same Kind of Different as Me  2017  (True Story)

 

Are You Ready to Feel Worthy?

This self-study course helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and the world around you. You will be able to finally feel worthy and be yourself. For more details.

Also, check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

If you need more help feeling worthy, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

5 Disadvantages of Blaming

As you probably read in my previous post (if not, go to 5 Advantages of Blaming first), there are lots of advantages to laying the blame for our current situation.  No matter what’s happening there are reasons to blame someone or something. But stop to consider—there are two sides to everything, and where there are advantages there are also disadvantages.  Let’s explore the downside to pointing an accusing finger at just about anyone we can think of.

Here are Some Disadvantages of Blaming…

  • It camouflages our real problem, the way we live and our own mindset.
  • We can easily become paralyzed, scared to death to make any decisions.
  • It keeps our focus away from appreciating what we do have and what’s going right.
  • Whether we realize it or not, we lose a little self-esteem every time we blame something or someone, including ourselves, for what’s happening.
  • We feel we are victims, and powerless to change our situation.

 

Although it is a common reaction to find our favorite scapegoat when things go wrong, the truth is all that finger pointing really just points us in the wrong direction.  It is a knee-jerk reaction that gives us a brief moment of satisfaction, yet ultimately leaves us floundering about the world in fear.

We can either blame or stop blaming!  We can empower ourselves to move forward and change the way we think and live. Once we take responsibility for our part in our own situations, we can take power over it.  This will lower our fear levels, raise our self-esteem, and turn any situation in a positive direction!

 

If you need more advice on how to release the need to blame others, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

 

 

5 Advantages of Blaming

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day drama and start pointing the finger. For instance, we could place blame on the media for inciting so much fear. We could blame corporations, guns, or whatever part of the government we are angry with!  Better yet, we could blame the President for single handedly causing such havoc!

No matter who or what we blame for anything, here are some of the advantages of doing so…

  • We have a subject of conversation that we can talk about with almost everyone.
  • We can get quite an adrenalin high off of the fear.
  • We are saved the work of actually making any decisions by staying in the “wait and see” mode indefinitely.
  • We could get that much needed exercise by tossing and turning in bed at night, and of course the “lift and point and lift and point” of the index finger as we assign blame.
  • We don’t have to take responsibility for our lives, because it’s something or someone else’s fault.

 

For the record, and for those of you who may miss the point, I am writing this with a touch of humor, but I mean every word of it quite seriously.  It is a part of the human condition to want to look around for the nearest scapegoat when things go wrong.  But that doesn’t actually solve any problems or release fear, does it?

In general, where there are pros there are cons.  Check back soon for my next blog to find out about the 5 Disadvantages of Blaming.

If you need more advice on how to release the need to blame others, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

 

What Everyone Has to Face: A Hero’s Journey

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we are asked to go out of our comfort zone and stretch beyond what we think is possible. A time when something is pulling our lives in a completely different direction, causing us stress. So much stress that it is extremely hard, if not impossible, to turn back to the way our lives used to be, or even to slightly change the direction.

This pull is easier to deal with when we understand the process and become aware that everyone goes through a hero’s journey at least once, if not several times, in their lifetime.

The Purpose

The purpose for the hero’s journey is simple: we are confronted with a task that gives us the opportunity to become a hero in our own lives—someone who showed courage, that we respect, and admire.

 

Here’s an Overview of a Hero’s Journey…

 

1   THE CALLING

External…

Sometimes the calling begins with a tragic event or a predicament we’re facing—an external pressure. It is something that abruptly happens, throws us off guard, and spins our life in a different direction.

It could be concerning a loved one, a sudden illness, a death, being unfairly treated, being a victim of a criminal act, a severe car accident, being fired, an unexpected breakup, an act of mother nature/extreme weather, or anything else that shocks us.

Internal…

Then sometimes the calling begins more subtle. It’s a feeling of discontent and uneasiness, and extremely hard to pinpoint at first. Something doesn’t quite feel right, like a yearning of some sorts to be filled—something that rises up from deep within.

An internal calling most often occurs to people who pay attention to how they feel and practice using their inner guidance or intuition.

With Both…

With both beginnings, the calling’s pull makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to turn back. We may not like it, but we know deep inside, this different direction—wherever it takes us and however long it takes—is destined and is our mission to complete.

 

2   REFUSAL OF THE CALL

We have the tendency to avoid, resist, or fight against the call, trying desperately to return back to the way our life used to be—to our comfort zone. We are scared to death that we are going to lose all the good things we have going for us, and that our deviation from our old way of living will lead to our demise.

Along with observing our life being pulled in a completely different direction, there is a tremendous amount of doubt about whether we are capable of our mission and even completing the journey.

The refusal can last for years until we stop doubting, avoiding, resisting, and fighting the call. All we have to do is jump in and make a commitment to our mission and the journey, wherever it takes us.

When we commit and mean it, the fear subsides—and is replaced by a feeling of relief that we are now beginning our right path.

 

3  MEETING THE MENTORS

Once we commit to the journey, divine guidance appears. We come across  seasoned travelers who give us training, tools, and advice that will help on the journey—and most of all, teach us how to use supernatural aids.

During this time we may get serious about relying on God or a Higher Power.  We could also experience unusual phenomena, such as signs from the universe, telepathy, hearing inner voices, vivid dreams, and increased psychic abilities.

 

4   CROSSING THE THRESHOLDS

As the journey progresses we are asked to leave the comfort of our old way of living and take the plunge into the unknown, where the rules and limits are not known.

An example could be caring for a loved one, moving to a different city, quitting a job, changing our career, breaking up with our current relationship, or anything that we would not normally have done.

Almost always it is closing a door before the next door opens—an act of faith. We have no idea of what will be involved, and how we will even survive. No one does it for us or helps us, and we are on our own.

 

5  TEMPTATIONS

The ego knows we are releasing it and hangs on with all its might.  We might be tempted to ignore our quest, hope we can stay where we are after all, and pray that the pull for a new life will completely disappear. The old familiar lifestyle and our comfort zone tempts us.

With every temptation we indulge in we realize the pleasures and comfort  are not the gifts we once thought they were and are not satisfying at all. They were just illusions of safety and pleasure.

Temptations could be trying to re-connect with old friends, moving back home, going back to the old career, or trying to get back with the ex. Also, we could be tempted to relapse back into addictions or habits, such as people pleasing.

We learn that relying on God or a Higher Power and using our supernatural aids can slay the dragons or temptations the ego conjures up—time and time again.

Each victory over the ego builds faith, enhances the feeling that nothing is impossible, and gives us momentary glimpses of a hero’s life.

 

6   BELLY OF THE WHALE

The journey keeps taking us inward to the most dangerous spot, to  confront our greatest fears and inner demons head on. It might appear we have been swallowed up and eaten alive. But really, we have only allowed the death of our fearful ego-self and let the fearless soul-self rise up and come into power.

We realize our greatest fear was only a smoke screen hiding what we always knew—that we have been unlimited and important all along. There was nothing to fear after all!!!

 

7   THE REWARD

We, the hero in our own life, take possession of the prize we won by facing our inner demons.  There is no more fear—no more feeling inadequate or insignificant!!!

We come out transcendent and beyond our limitations.

 

8   THE ROAD BACK

Shortly after receiving our prize, we are asked to go back to the ordinary world. We then become a seasoned traveler who gives others training, tools, and advice that will help them on their own hero’s journey.

And the most important thing of all, to shine a light

so bright it lights their way!!!

If you need a mentor to help you on your hero’s journey, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

Feel Worthy Course

This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and the world around you. You will be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

 

 

 

Keeping Secrets & A Course in Miracles

Most people have a secret or two they are not revealing, or at least not revealing to certain individuals. Are you one of them? Maybe you are ashamed of something you did in the past. Perhaps you’re not sharing a belief or a habit that everyone doesn’t approve of. Whatever your secret is, it is common to want to keep it hidden away from other’s critical take on it.

A Course in Miracles might help you see secrets differently.

Here’s what it says…

1“The escape from darkness involves two stages: 2 First the recognition that darkness cannot hide. 3 Second, the recognition that there is nothing you want to hide or even could.  This step brings escape from fear. 4 When you have become willing to hide nothing, you will not only be willing to enter into communion but will also understand peace and joy.”

Let’s Break Each Sentence Down and Explain it…

1“The escape from darkness involves two stages:

1   To me, this means if we are ashamed of or think our secret is wrong, we will consider it as “darkness.”

 

2 First the recognition that darkness cannot hide.

2  We need to realize we cannot keep secrets. At some level everyone knows we are hiding something from them, whether they ask us about it  or not. A Course in Miracles emphasizes “minds are joined” and that “there are no private thoughts.” That explains telepathy and how some psychics are so accurate.

 

3 Second, the recognition that there is nothing you want to hide or even could. This step brings escape from fear.

3  Deep down inside we don’t want to be ashamed of who we are, what we do, what we have done, or our beliefs.  The phrase in this passage, “or even could,” confirms “minds are joined.” Understanding this fact allows us to be free from fear.

 

4 When you have become willing to hide nothing, you will not only be willing to enter into communion but will also understand peace and joy.”

 4 Here’s the kicker! When we, ourselves, no longer judge our own secret as wrong and something to be ashamed of, but instead as something to be shared and used to initiate closeness, we will accept the real meaning of peace and joy. If you show yourself compassion, others usually will too.

 

Whether you are A Course in Miracles student or not, the message here is to use your secret as a way to love yourself and make a deeper connection with others.

 

For more advice and tips, visit my Overcoming Fear section.

If you need help with hiding the truth, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching & consulting session.

What’s the Punishment for Not Telling the Truth?

Lying and misleading others has become an epidemic and almost normal.  Are the benefits of not telling the truth out weighing the possibility of getting caught and punished for it? What about exaggerations and white lies? Surely, they can’t hurt anyone, right? But, do we ever completely escape the consequences for not telling the truth?

Not Telling the Truth…

1   Causes fear of being found out. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, every lie, no matter how small, puts us on guard. And they add up.

2   Lowers our self-esteem a notch every time we do it. How can we be a person we admire when we are afraid to acknowledge the truth?

3   Makes it difficult to have deep meaningful relationships. Close relationships are built on honesty, and disclosure.

4   Is a short-term fix. Not being honest eventually affects other parts of our life, such as our health, career, finances, relationships, and most of all, our ability to be happy.

5   Like attracts like. If we practice misleading others, we will find that others are misleading us.

Here’s the funny thing. There are ways to be honest that escape punishment altogether, give you more benefits than you can imagine, and don’t hurt anyone in anyway—including you.

 

Visit the entire Overcoming Fear section.

If you need help with keeping secrets, contact Vickie Champion for a coaching and consulting session.

 

My Feel Good Songs

Here is a list of songs that can change my mood for the better. These songs help me overcome fear and worry, be happier, not take things so personal,  have hope, and give me courage to make changes.

Enjoy…

“Follow Your Arrow” by Kacey Musgraves

“You Get What you Give” by New Radicals

“What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong

“Living in the Moment” by Jason Mraz

“Blue Lagoon” by Laid Back

“The World As I See It” by Jason Mraz

“No Envy No Fear” by Joshua Radin

“Happy” by Pharrell Williams

“Firework” by Katy Perry

“Happy Dreamer” by Laid Back

“Beyond Me” by TobyMac

“Love is Letting Go of Fear” by Olivia Newton-John

“The Climb” by Miley Cyrus

“Moment of Peace” by Gregorian & Sarah Brightman

“Love Will Remain” by Sheryl Crow

“Trust In You” by Lauren Daigle

“Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston

“You Gotta Want it” by Roberta Gold

“Come Along” by Titiyo

“It’s a Beautiful Life” by Ace of Base

“Levels” by Avicii

“I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack

“Hero” by Mariah Carey

“When You Believe” by Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey

“I Believe” by Christina Perri

“Reach” by Gloria Estefan

“Hold On” by Wilson Phillips

 

If you need help with your life or small business, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching & consulting session.

29 Ways to Describe, Define, or Explain Fear

When I ask: “Do you want to get rid of the fear?” My clients often react as if they don’t know what I am talking about. They really don’t think they are afraid of anything. They feel they are just having an argument or stressed and it’s not fear. To clarify what fear really means I’ve listed ways to define it and explanations on the not-so-obvious ones.

Here are OBVIOUS Ways to Define Fear….

1  Anxiety

2  Concern

3  Worry

4  Doubt

6  Horror

7  Fright

8  Panic

9  Insecurity

Here are the NOT-SO-OBVIOUS Ways to Define Fear….

10   Anger- Afraid you have no control over an individual or a situation.

11   Suspicious- Afraid you’ll be hurt in some way.

12   Dread- Afraid you have to do something you don’t want to do.

13   Impatience- Afraid you won’t get what you want.

14   Control- Needing it to go your way to feel safe.

15   Intimidation- Afraid others are better than you.

16   Shyness- The inability to stand out and express yourself for fear that someone will disapprove.

17   Confusion- Afraid if you make a decision, you’ll make a mistake.

18   Sacrifice- Afraid you will have to give something valuable up to get something else.

19   Procrastination- Afraid you’ll make a mistake.

20   Perfectionism- Afraid you’ll make a mistake.

21   Avoidance- Afraid to look or think about it.

22   Regretful- Afraid you made mistakes in the past.

23   People pleasing– Afraid if you don’t “do” something, you won’t be liked.

24   Obligation- Behaving a certain way in fear of not being a responsible person.

25   Vengeful- Afraid someone will not be punished for their mistakes.

26   Inadequacy- Afraid you can’t handle the situation.

27   Bored- Afraid to do something different.

28   Guilt- Afraid you did something wrong.

29   Envious- Afraid someone has it better than you.

Believe it or not, I stopped myself from listing all the definitions of fear. But in your observations of yourself, if you notice feelings and reactions that make you feel bad about yourself, makes other feel bad, or makes specific situations worse – that’s fear.

If you need help getting rid of your fears, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

The Difference Between Belonging and Fitting In

I read Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly. She did a comparison between Belonging and Fitting In that I thought was an interesting concept.

Here are my thoughts on it….

  • To belong is being somewhere because it feels right. To fit in is being somewhere we know we should be.
  • To belong is to speak from our heart. To fit in is to say the socially acceptable thing.
  • To belong is to wear the clothes we absolutely love. To fit in is to wear what others are wearing.
  • To belong is to find acceptance in our individuality and uniqueness. To fit in is to gain approval for being like everyone else.

How many times have we tried fit in and were completely baffled as to why it was so unsatisfying?  Yet to feel good, all we have to do is have the courage to show up  exactly as we are.

If you need help on how to feel you belong, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

 

8 Advantages of NOT Being Vulnerable

Maybe you’re still wary about all this “vulnerability” talk. You know there must be advantages to protecting against vulnerability. You’re right. When you refuse to be wide open and accessible you are afforded some benefits.

You…

  • Don’t have to worry about being hurt or disappointed.
  • Save time by only having short conversations about things that don’t matter like the weather.
  • May continue focusing on vices like food, buying stuff, alcohol, and keeping crazy busy.
  • Can take pride in showing others how perfect you are, always being on and not letting your guard down.
  • Experience adrenalin highs from the stress of hiding your feelings, moods and pain.
  • Won’t have to experience ever being turned down.
  • Can reach your goal in life of maintaining status quo.
  • Save money from not purchasing personal growth programs, attending workshops, or hiring a life coach.

If the above are worthy lifestyle choices for you, then you’re right to try and protect against vulnerability. Choosing to be vulnerable may mean change, or the discovery of a deep love for ourselves and others. Who needs to take the path less traveled when the well-worn rut of addiction, isolation, and just-good-enough suits you just fine?

If you need help having courage to be vulnerable, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

6 Reasons We Settle for Less

How many times have you settled for something inferior or not what you really wanted?

I remember wanting a blue bike so bad I couldn’t see straight, and not really knowing why. Then for some reason, I settled for a red one. Another time I forgot about the person I believed was my true heart’s desire because someone else came along who found me attractive.  I can think of six solid reasons why we compromise and settle for second-rate.

Why we Choose Mediocre…

When we…

  • Lack faith that we can get what we really want.
  • Get impatient and take the quick fix instead.
  • Start people pleasing and let someone talk us out of it.
  • Feel we don’t deserve what we really want.
  • Believe it’s not possible or that we have no chance of succeeding.
  • Want to stay in our comfort zone.

Did you notice, the 6 reasons all involved FEAR?  FEAR that we don’t really know what we want or that it won’t come into our lives at the right time. FEAR someone else knows better or that it’s out of our league. FEAR that it’s not logical to have what we want or having it will require us to change.

When we settle because we are afraid, we get less. When we wait for what we really want, we get amazing.

 

If you need help not settling for the ho-hum, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary consultation & coaching session!

 

The Many Disadvantages of Multitasking

Everyone multitasks to some extent but it can easily become a lifestyle of trying to stay BUSY. Here are some of the disadvantages…

You tend to…

  • Believe quantity is way more important than quality.
  • Skip prioritizing your tasks, eliminating things that don’t really need to be done.
  • Ignore long-term goals or focus on achieving your wildest dreams.
  • Disregard your intuition.
  • Have more shallow relationships.
  • Have an illusion of competence.
  • Become emotionally dependent on having a large to do list and a constant access to technology.
  • Be a jack of all trades, master of none.
  • Apologize more than others for being late or making mistakes.
  • Eliminate time for contemplative thoughts.

I coach a lot of multitaskers who have let it get out of hand. By the time they are ready to end their life of BUSYNESS, they have wasted years occupying their time with bits and pieces of nothing really significant. Don’t distract yourself to death!

If you need help letting go of doing several tasks at once, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

The Many Advantages of Multitasking

Everyone talks about how horrible doing several things at one time is, but there are some great advantages, too.

You…

  • Call yourself an expert multitasker.
  • Don’t have to waste time prioritizing.
  • Save money not hiring helpers.
  • Can eliminate the words rest and relax from your vocabulary.
  • Get your highs from the sense of urgency that it imposes.
  • Eliminate the concept of quality time.
  • Prevent procrastination.
  • Have days, weeks, months, and years go by quickly.
  • Don’t have to worry about getting hurt in relationships because you are too busy to get involved with anyone.
  • Aren’t bored.
  • Avoid thinking about life-changing decisions.

See, I told you. There are many advantages of multitasking if you want to live your life BUSY, simultaneously filling it with bits and pieces of nothing really significant.

If you help balancing your need to do several tasks at once, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

One Way to Let Go of the Past

I was going through my annual decluttering and came across my high school senior yearbook. This time, instead of just putting it back in the box I looked through it.

I was in yearbook class and designed the cover, title pages, and most of the page layouts.  I didn’t know it at the time but that was the start of my 25-year career in graphic arts and publishing. So maybe I kept hanging onto it because it was part of my history  — a point of pride.

This time, as I looked over each page, I began to pay attention to my feelings.  I found I wasn’t proud, nor was I getting warm fuzzies looking at the pictures. I kept getting a ho-hum, detached feeling like it was some other lifetime. I couldn’t even remember the names or faces of my classmates. After I graduated, I lost touch with the people who had been my close friends and I have not gone to any of the reunions.

By the time I had looked through half of the yearbook, I knew it was time. It was time to let go of what had been a precious keepsake. It no longer was part of my life.

Letting go of things that cause unpleasant feelings or even indifference allows us to make space to experience the “now.” It frees us from the past. It enables us to embrace the people we might become.

If you help releasing the past, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

How to Clean Out the Clutter

About this time a year, I take a few hours or days to declutter. I go through every nook and cranny in my office and my home. What to keep? What to toss? I use a process of asking myself questions and then let my intuition or gut feelings guide me.

Here are the questions I ask…

1  Do I feel better or worse when I think about this? Lots of times we keep things hanging around that make us feel bad about ourselves or our lives and we don’t realize how much negative energy it has.

Obviously, if you get WORSE as an answer, let it go. These items could be things that remind you of difficult relationships, regrets, bad experiences and past mistakes.

 

2  Do I even like this item? Many of us keep things out of obligation, usually gifts someone has given us. See my story.

If the answer is NO, get rid of it in a loving way. There is someone that would love it and we are keeping it from them if we don’t.

 

3   Does this fit the new me or define the old me?  We evolve and change constantly and as such some of our things no longer serve us.

If we don’t release something that defines the OLD me, we risk remaining stuck in the past.

 

4 Could I re-acquire this quickly?  Information is one of the easiest to recoup, especially from one of our devices or the internet. This means we can eliminate hundreds of items such as maps, books, magazines, CD’s, address books, clocks, office supplies, photo albums, file cabinets, and the list goes on.

If the answer is YES, it will probably save us a lot of time and we’ll have the newest information within reach if we let go of the old methods and data.

 

5   Will I ever use this or refer to it again? This question is trickier. It takes the ability to tap into your intuition or inner guidance to get an answer.

If the answer is NO, when we actually follow our intuition and toss it, we find out we’ll never miss it.

 

Clearing the clutter allows us to shed what we no longer need and embrace that which is most important, inspiring or necessary. The positive energy that can be recouped from letting go of the old, worn out and broken can be mind-blowing. Start with small steps and you’ll be surprised to see how much freer and lighter you feel.

If you need help mentally reducing your mess, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

What Really Helped me Understand A Course in Miracles?

Like most people who attempt to study A Course in Miracles (ACIM), at first I to was lucky to understand even one sentence on a whole page.  All I knew was my intuition was nudging me to learn concepts in this blue book. ACIM was the only self-help book that didn’t contradict itself. So I figured if nothing else, it was written by someone or something greater than me.

Now let’s get to the point. What really helped me make sense of this new way of thinking was joining with others who were also students of ACIM. You’ve probably heard two heads are better than one. Well in this case it really was true. I used to attend classes sometimes as many as four times a week, and I would usually leave with “Aha” moments.

Marianne Williamson was the best. Back in the early 90’s (before she wrote Return to Love) she had a way of taking ACIM’s  mind boggling concepts and putting them into real life situations in an entertaining, in your face kind of way. I loved it, maybe because my personality made me that way also. Most Saturdays I would drive 80 miles up to West Hollywood, CA to hear her speak. For years Marianne often lectured in the Los Angeles (Beverly Hills, CA) area.

If you are looking for a life coach who understands A Course in Miracles, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

What Makes Some Relationships so Special?

Three other women and I meet every couple of weeks or so and we have an amazing time no matter what we do. Being the person I am, I had to explore why? Why do we all look forward to the time we are together? Why do the hours pass by so quickly and we all dread saying good-bye? What makes them so special?

We all come from different parts of the country, different backgrounds, different professions, different goals, and our ages vary by as much as 21 years.

Here is what I’ve come up with…

  • We can tell each other everything and anything because we’re free from judgment from each other.
  • We express appreciation, feelings, and affection freely.
  • No one dominates the conversation no matter what’s happening in their life.
  • We really pay attention and listen to each other.
  • We dispense with polite conversation and delve into issues of heart, impact and real meaning.
  • We’re genuinely interested in each other.
  • We are not afraid to be honest and vulnerable.
  • We are ONE- Accepting each other exactly the way we are.

If you help attracting good relationships, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

Do We Need to Change Our Appearance to Look Better?

Part of my Road to Real is working on my appearance. In 7 months, I have had a heck of a time losing any substantial weight or inches. I’ve been on a few different diets, consulted doctors and experts, hired a physical trainer, attended yoga, and have adjusted and readjusted my hormone medications.

Here’s what fascinates me. People tell me all the time that I look better. You’ve done something different, they say. But the only thing I have done that might be getting results is positive affirmations.

That really makes me wonder. Is changing our thoughts all we need to do to look better? Is it that simple?

To help change your thoughts, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

11 Signs We’re NOT Being in the Moment

When we’re not in the moment we may lose track of time, but instead of feeling our time was well spent we wonder where it went.  Seconds, minutes, hours, years:  let’s make them count by more fully claiming our experience. Pause from time to time and observe. Are you living in the moment? We know we are not…

When we…

  • Daydream
  • Are on auto-pilot
  • Judge
  • Have attachments to the outcome
  • Are afraid
  • Think we know the answer from past experiences
  • Don’t have enough time
  • Get impatient
  • Are bored
  • Feel overwhelmed
  • Are confused

Every second has the potential to be something greater than we can imagine if we choose it. Being in the moment has the power to solve all our problems, heal our bodies, alleviate our fears, develop our intuition or gut instincts, and give us an unbelievable experience.

If you need more advice or tips about being fully present and staying in the moment, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

How to Be in the Moment

Focus and delight collide when we’re in the moment. So does wonder and understanding.  And peace and clarity. We may have spent decades spending our lives thinking about the past thing or the next thing, but it takes very little effort to learn to stay in the moment.

When we want to be fully present, we can…

  • Be aware of our thoughts about the past or the future. Train your mind to bring your thoughts back to the present moment. I tell my mind, “Thanks for sharing, but I’m only concerned with right now.”
  • Observe without judgment. Really notice your surroundings. Be aware of your environment, how your body feels, the temperature, the smells, what you are hearing or seeing and how you’re feeling emotionally.
  • Focus on our breathing.
  • Be open. Don’t be a know-it-all and miss the treasured messages that can be found in the present moment. Adopt a willingness to listen and learn.
  • Begin listing the things we are grateful for. I like to say the person, place or thing that I’m grateful for and then say, “Thank you, God.”

Being fully present creates space and freedom. We hear our intuition, we stop being so fearful all the time, we experience more miracles. Commit to the worth of experiencing your life!

If you have more questions about staying in the moment, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

Benefits of Being in the Moment

Our ability to be fully in the moment requires our willingness.  Our willingness to regularly bathe in it, inhabit it and ALLOW it. What we receive from staying in the moment and being open to everything that arises from it are gifts.

When we are in the present moment, we can…

  • Have an amazing experience.
  • Feel enormous amounts of appreciation.
  • Respect everyone and everything.
  • Understand the real meaning of love.
  • Feel free from fear.
  • Release worn out habits.
  • Hear clearly our intuition.
  • Feel extremely connected.
  • Get the answer to any problem.
  • Heal any sickness we might have.

I invite you into this state not just for what it gives you but for how it allows you to give back to the world. The world needs you to be present and to share your gifts moment to moment.

If you need more advice or tips about being fully present and staying in the moment, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

Definition of Being in the Moment

When you’re in the moment, time is not an issue. Effort is not an issue. ‘What’s next?’ is not an issue. It’s being in harmony and it’s the way you were meant to live your life.

Being in the moment is…

  • Becoming engaged in whatever we’re doing – completely.
  • Developing a different perspective of the present moment and taking in all that it has to offer.
  • Not something we make happen, it is something we let happen.
  • Something we experience.

Everyone has had moments of being in the moment. The challenge and the reward is living in the moment more often than we are not. But it is possible. We can begin now to make easy, simple changes to live a more engaging, purposeful and peaceful life.

If you need more advice or tips about being fully present and staying in the moment, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.
By Vickie Champion

The Third Way to Prepare for an Amazing Relationship

It’s so easy to get in the habit of overlooking the little things that happen day to day.  Or to keep telling yourself it doesn’t matter, when it does.
 

If we only knew that not paying attention and being honest with ourselves and others is slowly killing us and our relationship.
The third way to prepare for an ideal relationship is to…

Practice being truthful to yourself and others all the time.
 

If we want an amazing relationship we have to first change our relationship with ourselves. And by being honest with ourselves – seeking out and then accepting our true desires and motivations – we reflect that in the way we live and respond to our partner.  He or she can’t give us what we want if we are not first clear and honest about what we want.
 

If you need help on how to attract and have an amazing relationship, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.
By Vickie Champion

The Second Step Towards an Amazing Relationship

This is probably the hardest concept to grasp, much less believe in. So, just for a moment, throw out everything you were taught by your parents and practically every other couple you have come in contact with and think about this…
 
The second way to prepare for an ideal relationship is to…

Understand making sacrifices and compromises are not required.

 
There, it’s out there. Can you imagine how freeing that would be? No more trying to please your partner, keep the peace, or doing something to be loved or appreciated.
 
Now you ask HOW? Listen and follow your intuition or gut feelings. Your intuition always offers a solution to even the most insignificant situation, where no one has to sacrifice or compromise in any way. If you tap into it, your intuition makes your relationship amazing for both of you.
         
If you need help on how to attract and have an amazing relationship, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.
By Vickie Champion
 

The First Step Toward an Amazing Relationship

It’s so easy to think we just haven’t found the right one. Or to get wrapped up in feeling sorry for ourselves because we haven’t found our prince/princess charming.

Before you spend a lifetime stuck in the boo-hoo’s praying and waiting for a relationship to rescue you or as Jerry Maguire says to “complete you,” think about this…
 
The only thing that can improve the quality of our lives is our own thoughts. When we first meet someone it seems we found the perfect woman/man but soon the newness starts wearing off and our judging, and not-so-positive thoughts start creeping in to ruin it.
 
So the first way to prepare for an ideal relationship is to…

Realize only you can make yourself happy.

 
When we work within and take responsibility for our own happiness, we not only feel complete, but brimming with plenty leftover. We attract and have amazing relationships when we are already full, and have the desire to share the extras with someone special.
         
If you need help on how to attract and have an ideal relationship, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.
By Vickie Champion 
 

How to Make a Commitment to Yourself

I had a client ask me in a coaching session how to get yourself to make a commitment. I had to take time and really think about the process I just went through.

I have never let myself feel sexy. Since the age of 6, I have been overweight – from 30 to 100 pounds — and I have never believed my facial features were very attractive either. So I resigned myself to a life of making due, blech!, with what I was given and learning to love myself anyway. Recently, my intuition and a series of events nudged me into committing to feel as sexy as I could. Read my blog on Define Feeling Sexy to understand what I mean.

Here’s what I did to make a commitment to myself…

1  I realized I was just wasting time. Everyday seemed to be the same, one meal to the next, just going through the motions, without any personal growth or “aha” moments.  I kept asking myself, “If not now, when? When I’m dead?”

2  I stopped lying to myself.  I had tried to convince myself  it didn’t matter, when all along, it did matter.

3  I had to acknowledge  I  had gotten so comfortable in my comfort zone that it was making me miserable. You know, when your life is not too bad but not too good either. My business was doing OK and I seemed to have enough clients. I was paying the bills and had some money saved.  I’m in fairly good health for my age, other than the weight issue. I had good relationships with my clients, friends and family. But it wasn’t amazing. Not even close.

4  I started doing affirmations.  For years, I have been in the practice of repeating positive thoughts over and over until I start believing them. It works well in getting me prepared to make a commitment. Some are…

  • There is nothing I cannot do, including feeling sexy.
  • There is nothing to fear. (From A Course in Miracles)
  • Today is the toughest it will ever be.

5  I embraced a mindset to do whatever it takes however long it takes. For me this works by thinking of the absolute worst that could happen and giving it permission (mentally) to happen. For instance, never again eating the foods I want when I want them.

6 Then, I jumped in. I forged an all or nothing attitude. A real commitment to yourself requires a there-is-no-turning-back mindset.

Change may not be easy, but it is the way of life. And when it comes to changing – or in fact accepting that we deserve all our desires – even to feel sexy – it is life changing.  What is your desire, perhaps long hidden or ignored, that requires your commitment right now?

If you need help with making a commitment to yourself, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

How to Prepare for an Amazing Relationship

In the previous blog What Makes an Amazing Relationship? we discussed that the ability to have and keep that ideal relationship is all about your own mindset. 
 
I’ve noticed in my life that the kind of relationships that I have only reflect my self-esteem at the time. And the ability to hold onto those great relationships is directly related to my need to sabotage it. When my “I’m not good enoughs” start outweighing my “I deserve its” then the relationship falls apart and we break up.
 
Through my own experience, observing others and in my life coaching practice, I have studied a few amazing, some good and a whole lot of bad relationships.
 
My conclusion is this…
Anyone can have an amazing relationship if they want it bad enough to do the inner work to attract and keep it.
 
The upcoming blogs will explain more about how to prepare for an amazing connection.
 
If you need help on preparing for an amazing relationship, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

A Sure Fire Way to Accomplish the New Year’s Resolutions

Calendar turned to New Years DayHow often have you made a New Year’s resolution and never achieved it? How many times did you start out full of determination and willingness to exert effort to succeed, but somehow lost the momentum three weeks later?

This year, before making a declaration, take time to examine the “reason why” you are considering it. Is it to correct something you think is wrong or is it to fulfill a dream-come-true? The key to success lies in the “motive” for making the resolution in the first place. Goals that are established to carry out your aspirations are more likely to be accomplished and those that try to fix something hardly ever work.

 

Some of the Differences Between the Two are:

  • Resolutions made to correct something cause us to make sacrifices until that glorious day when they are achieved. We construct a plan and struggle day in and day out with trying to “make it happen.” This adds a stressful burden, draining us both physically and mentally. When we set a resolution to accomplish a dream, it nourishes us, not only when we finally accomplish it, but also every step of the journey.
  • Almost always, making a resolution to correct something sends a clear message, “we are not good enough.” No matter how much effort we have put in or what we have accomplished, it’s still not good enough. This can easily lower our self-esteem a notch or two. Making a resolution based on a dream doesn’t beat us down before we get started. Instead, it jump starts the confidence that is needed to accomplish it.
  • When we make a resolution to correct something there is no guarantee we’ll be happy when we achieve it. This is one of the reasons why so many lose the weight and then put it back on. Working on a resolution based on a dream, just by the nature of it, does make us happier.
  • Finally, there is no way we can escape feeling, even a little bit, that we have botched up and done something wrong when we don’t succeed at correcting something. Because we feel we have done something wrong, there is a tendency to punish ourselves for it, which makes it even worse. On the other hand, if we don’t meet a goal based on a dream right away, we are more lenient with ourselves, knowing every day we’re getting closer.

 

Change the Way you Make this Year’s Resolution by Asking Yourself these Questions:

  • Will I have to make sacrifices to accomplish it?
  • Will I feel like a failure if I don’t complete it?
  • Am I going to be dissatisfied until it is achieved?

 

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you are probably making resolutions to correct something. If you decide to keep it you’re really setting yourself up for a battle, consisting of plenty of hard work, sacrifices, and the fear you won’t succeed.

Remember, the key to success lies in the “reason why.” If you make a resolution to fulfill a dream, it is automatically successful, whether you achieve it or not. Success is built-in every step of the process. Each step is fun and easy, gives you more confidence, and builds your self-esteem a little higher.

If you need help with your New Year’s Resolutions, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

How to Feel Safe During Uncertainty

Couple cuddling on the beachAre you afraid about what tomorrow will bring? Are you changing your lifestyle out of fear or staying awake at night tossing and turning?

Whether tormented about what’s going to happen, worried over losing something, or just uncomfortable with change, many of us are simply trying to get through the day without letting the fear consume us. It’s like the ground has been pulled out from underneath us. We just don’t feel safe.

If you’ve been living with this kind of fear, here are some tips to help you feel safer:

FORMULAS
Unfortunately, there are no mechanical devices or man-made formulas that are 100  percent successful, 100 percent of the time. So, instead of depending on something that might miss the mark, put your faith in your “intuition.” A quick definition of “intuition” is a “gut instinct,” “feeling,” “sense,” or a “knowing.” “Intuition” has a way of automatically giving us an accurate reading of all aspects of the situation and then directing us out of harm’s way. And, it NEVER fails.

THE FUTURE
If we feel unsafe, most likely we are focusing the majority of our attention on what’s going to happen to us in the future. We spend time trying to figure out possible upcoming situations, their outcomes, the effects they will have and what systems to put into action to avoid them. But, in actuality, things almost never turn out quite like we thought they would. Rather than making yourself sick with fear, praying that you’ve thought of every possible situation that could happen and the right solution, focus on the “now.” Not only does staying in the moment take the fear away, but it allows us an awareness of things that we would not necessarily pick up otherwise.

OUTSIDE EVENTS
These days our world is changing so quickly it’s easy to let outside events and situations take control of our lives and run the show. We think we are at their mercy and cannot do anything about them. One of the ways to stop events from taking control is to sit down, get quiet and have a heart-to-heart conversation with your “self.” Some of the questions you could ask are:

  • Is this event going to change my life in any way? How?
  • If so, will I be O.K.?
  • Do I do anything differently? If so, what?

If the answers caused more fear, you probably didn’t wait for your “self” to respond. Real safety comes from tapping into a power greater than ourselves – a power that knows every fact about the past, present, and the future … a power that knows how to provide an outcome where everyone wins. There is not one person alive who doesn’t have the ability to tap into this power. The question is, “Do we want to use it?”

If you need help with feeling safe, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

34 Subtle Signs You are in a Bad Relationship

This isn’t about the obvious REALLY toxic relationships. You know, the ones that are full of jealousy, abuse, overdependence, or manipulative and controlling behavior. I’ll leave that to the therapists.

Here are some not-so-obvious hints you have a bad relationship…

When you…

  • Have a habit of blaming each other for one thing or another.
  • Feel guilty and apologize at least once a month.
  • Stay crazy busy most of the time.
  • Repeatedly take things too seriously.
  • Feel lonely and unconnected.
  • Want your partner to appreciate you more.
  • Find your friends and family avoid being around you and/or your partner.
  • Have little disagreements here and there.
  • Want to spend more and more time apart.
  • Fear telling the truth about some things.
  • Can list at least more cons than pros about your partner.
  • Have excuses to stay with your partner, like for the sake of the kids or for financial reasons.
  • No longer feel good about yourself.
  • Have tried to make your partner “everything.”
  • Don’t have much in common anymore.
  • Change your looks, behaviors, and dreams just to please your partner.
  • Go along with your partners decisions because it’s easier.
  • Are defensive.
  • Stay with them because they say they “I love you.”
  • Don’t like the person you have become.
  • Make problems with your partner a topic of conversation with your friends.
  • Have loved ones suggesting you hire a life coach or get couples therapy.
  • Find yourself compromising more than not.
  • Feel trapped.
  • Lack the willingness to forgive some things.
  • Stop paying attention to how you feel.
  • At timesdread seeing or talking to them.
  • Make conscious sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
  • Feel you would be happier if your partner spoke or acted differently.
  • Do things just to please your partner.
  • Find yourself resenting other couples’ relationships.
  • Don’t feel like it’s a 50/50 partnership.
  • Let your partner hurt your feelings.
  • Have gained weight, or picked up an unhealthy habit to relieve stress.

If you can identify with some of these bad relationship signs it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Or that you necessarily have a heap of self improvement work ahead of you. Sometimes you can change your relationships simply by changing the way you think. Truly!  And it can be done without making sacrifices or changing who you are.

If you need help on how to improve your relationship, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

32 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

Maybe things in your relationship could be better. And maybe your partner will come around to doing the things he or she ought to be doing. But first, are you? Are you sabotaging your relationship in small, insidious ways?

When you…

  • Put expressing “I love you” on auto-pilot, saying it at least once a day.
  • Over-apologize or expect your partner to.
  • Bring up past mistakes.
  • Strongly believe that a good relationship requires you to make sacrifices and compromises.
  • Are too available.
  • Never have an opinion on anything.
  • Think about your body size, shape or the amount of wrinkles when making love.
  • Hide the truth so you won’t hurt their feelings.
  • Change your looks and behaviors only to please your partner.
  • Let them make your decisions for you.
  • Focus on what they are doing wrong and their faults.
  • Stop communicating and expressing your thoughts and feelings.
  • Spend more money than you have.
  • Believe if your partner looked or acted differently you would be happier.
  • Don’t take time to have fun and laugh together.
  • Let days go by without saying a kind word or making a loving gesture.
  • Expect your partner to fill a void in your life.
  • Stop looking your partner in the eyes whenever possible.
  • Take them for granted.
  • Don’t practice tough love ever and allow them to remain in an unhealthy comfort zone.
  • Ignore that your core values are not aligned.
  • Try to numb yourself and pay very little attention to how you are feeling about anything.
  • Tell white lies because you are afraid of your partner’s reaction.
  • Stop listening, or better yet, get such busy lives you just pass in the night.
  • Are together too much, excluding friends and family.
  • Believe the inability to get along with your partners friends and family has no effect on your relationship.
  • Take your partners comments personally and make it a habit to be defensive about them.
  • Complain to anybody who will listen about your partner.
  • Confide only to your friends and family, excluding your partner entirely.
  • Micro-manage your partner.
  • Require your partner be faithful, but refuse to meet their sexual needs.
  • Criticize your looks and actions daily.

Good relationships are joyful, comforting, inspiring, nurturing and a thousand other uplifting nouns.  And relationships — good or bad — help us grow. If you identified with some of these relationship-ruining habits you’re not perfect. That’s OK. But you may want to choose one or two areas to examine and even attempt to change so your relationship can strengthen and grow.

If you are ready to stop ruining your relationships, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

How Do You Know if You Could Feel Sexier?

I intend to bring sexy back. The kind of sexy that is the embodiment of self respect, self compassion and self love.  What? You say feeling sexy isn’t that important to you? It should be. Could you/should you amp up the wattage of the sexy meter? Read on…

The Biggest Signs You Could Feel Sexier

When you…

  • Think of yourself as not sexy at all.
  • Believe feel sexy is for those few people who are good looking.
  • Place feeling sexy as not that important to you.
  • Define sexy as wearing short tight dresses, heavy makeup, and showing lots of cleavage.

 

Other Hints You Could Feel Sexier

When you…

  • Wear clothes that fit instead of clothes that are flattering.
  • Neglect self-care such as grooming, exercise, conscious eating, adequate sleep, quiet contemplation, and time for relaxation.
  • Fail to make the effort to stay in shape.
  • Have a hard time making eye contact with others.
  • Are critical about your appearance.
  • Feel intimidated around others.
  • Avoid giving yourself praise or “atta girls” for anything.
  • Feel insecure about your body, abilities, or knowledge.
  • Wonder why you get very little respect.
  • Avoid trying new things and making changes.
  • Judge others’ appearances.
  • Take things too seriously and forget to smile or laugh.

Sexy is not just a way to sell sports cars and brands of beer.  It’s the sparkle, it’s the juice, it’s the feel-the-fear-and-do-it anyway zest of life.  If you read this and found yourself falling short of zesty sexiness, I challenge you to adopt a change in behavior in at least one point this week. Bring the sexy back into your life!

If you need help on how to feel sexier, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

Take a Quiz and Find out if it is Time for You to Stop People Pleasing?

Out of all my blogs since Sept 2008, the top 3 most popular ones are on people pleasing. They are 52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser, 19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing, and 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser.

That shocks me! Are there that many people suffering from the need to please that they want to get informed and possibly overcome it?

Take this short people pleasing test and see if your chronic niceness is causing you enough stress, unhappiness, and difficulties to want to do something about it.

Is it Time for You to Stop People Pleasing and Start Enjoying your Life?

If you are ready to end the habit of people pleasing now, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Define Feeling Sexy

When we think of feeling sexy, the first thing that comes to most of our minds is being hot, flirtatious, risqué, seductive, and to be real frank, kind of a slut. Uck! Who wants that? Always fighting off unwanted attention and trying to ignore the off-color looks and comments behind our backs. No wonder most women dumb it down and never give feeling sexy another thought.

I’d like to redefine what feeling sexy means so every woman could actually feel sexy if they wanted to.

My Definition of a Sexy Woman is…

Someone who…

  • Is comfortable in her own skin.
  • Wears clothes that flatter her, not hide her.
  • Is OK with not being perfect.
  • Focuses on what she has, not what she doesn’t.
  • Is confident and fearless.
  • Pays more attention to how she moves rather than what she moves.
  • Is not afraid to look ridiculous or silly.
  • Smiles and laughs easily.
  • Isn’t condescending.
  • Has an enthusiastic personality.
  • Is approachable.
  • Doesn’t neglect self-care such as grooming, exercise, conscious eating, adequate sleep, quiet contemplation, and time for relaxation.
  • Is kind.
  • Makes eye contact.
  • Is honest with themselves and others.
  • Gives others their space but stays within reach.
  • Is interesting.
  • Melts your heart.
  • Knows how to work a room.

Sexy is not a bad word. But it’s a word that deserves to be redefined because feeling sexy is a state of being that is powerful if we embrace its fullness. Feeling sexy is worth aspiring to. Just take care not to short change it or yourself.

If you are ready to improve your self-image, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Feel Worthy COURSE

This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself to be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

One Way to Overcome Loneliness

One of my longtime career and life coaching clients is Kelly Loeffler. I have seen her in very difficult life situations step up, get out of the fear of what others will think,  and do the right thing.

I recently asked Kelly to tell a story of overcoming feeling alone.

Here’s a recap of her story of being afraid, scared, and lonely…

Who would think something as simple as a pen could have made my day so much better. Let me tell you a story that happened to me involving a pen.

It was a Saturday, and I was having a really bad day. I was afraid, scared and lonely. I woke up feeling that way. I had to go out and do some errands and as I was driving to the store I remembered that I need to do affirmations. Those will help me get out of this feeling I was having. I did the one’s that are my favorites “There is nothing to fear ever.” “There is nothing to fear ever.” “There is nothing to fear ever.”And then I did the other one I like, “God walks with me always.” “God walks with me always.” “God walks with me always.” I kept repeating those over and over as I was doing my errands.

The last stop I had was Staples. 5 o’clock on Saturday afternoon there was no one there but me and the people that work there. So, I go in an isle looking at the pens. I was standing there looking at the pens still feeling awful, feeling desperate. Before I knew it there was another customer there in this practically empty store, standing next to me also looking at pens.

She started a conversation with me about the different pens. Before I knew it she was talking to me about her family and all kinds of stuff. I had this 15 min. conversation with her that started out about pens. By the time see walked away, I felt so much better. Just from having talked to somebody, a stranger, a complete stranger and when she walked away I realized it was like a little miracle. How God bought her to me just when I needed someone, the right person at the right time. And it was a MIRACLE to me.

For more advice on overcoming loneliness, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery life coaching and consulting session.

10 Subtle Signs You are Unhappy

You’re no whiner.You’re not prone to crying jags. You’re always smiling in pictures. You take a lot of joy in curling up on the couch with Ben & Jerrys and a new Netflix.

You’re happy, right?

Maybe. But there are some beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that either prevent or indicate that you’re not yet off-the-charts, deliriously happy.  They’re subtle. But see if you recognize yourself in these 10 signs.

Here’s 10 Subtle Signs we Are NOT Happy…

When we…

  • Criticize our body, our behaviors, and often feel guilty.
  • Think we would be happier if someone else spoke or acted differently.
  • Often do things just to please others.
  • Could use more money, time, or energy.
  • Know how everyone else should live their life.
  • Get impatient waiting for the outcome.
  • Have some regrets.
  • Don’t have the faintest idea what using our intuition or inner guidance means.
  • Feel it would be better if some external circumstance or event were changed.
  • Avoid people that act and think differently.

 

There’s no shame in recognizing yourself in a few of those statements. They are just areas to explore so that you can be off-the-charts deliriously happy. That state of mind is not just for toddlers, and puppies. It’s a real, attainable state of being.  I’d like to see you reach it.

Contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

10 Signs You are Truly Happy

However you define happiness — contentment, joy, peaceful, satisfied, thrilled, or being on cloud nine — we all strive to feel that way.

Here’s 10 Signs we are Truly Happy…

When we…

  • Forget to worry.
  • Have frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
  • Know what it feels like to enjoy the journey.
  • Have no interest in judging others in any way.
  • Have no desire to criticize our body, behaviors, or even our own thoughts.
  • Lose interest in wanting to be right.
  • Have a tendency to think and behave by using our intuition instead of reacting out of fear.
  • Experience feeling connected to others, nature or God.
  • Make it a practice to smile through our eyes and from our heart.
  • Have the ability to receive enormous amounts of love as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Most of us think being happy is when things go our way and we finally get what we want. But true happiness is a mindset we can choose at any time.

 

If you need help being happy, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

My Top 10 Spiritual Movies

It comes up in casual conversation: Seen any good movies lately? As a matter of fact, I have. I did some thinking about the movies that I have found the most compelling, the most uplifting and the most truthful. They all illustrate some universal aspect of life and, of course, they’re entertaining.

Here’s my Top 10 Spiritual Movies…

1   As It Is in Heaven  (By far the best)

2   Castaway

3   Peaceful Warrior

4   Groundhog Day

5   The Legend of Bagger Vance

6   Gandhi

7   Field of Dreams

8   Seven Years in Tibet

9   Bruce Almighty

10   Little Boy

 

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Always

Defending Your Life

Contact

Amazing Grace

Did I leave your favorite spiritual movie out? Let me know. Maybe I’ll disagree. Or maybe I haven’t seen it yet and you’ll be doing me a big favor.
Other info on movies by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

The Heaviest Movie I Have Ever Seen

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Take a Quiz and Find out How Often you Use Your Intuition?

When people hear what my specialty is, they proudly comment, “I’m good at using my intuition.”  Then as the conversation progresses they start telling me about how difficult some of their relationships are, how they don’t have enough money, how they are unhappy in their job, and how they are coping with their illnesses.

I really don’t think most people realize that if we really listened to our intuition and followed it all our problems would completely disappear.

Here is a test to see How Often you Listen to Your Intuition or Gut Instincts?
You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

10 Reasons it is So Hard to Forgive

If forgiveness were always easy the self-help section of the bookstore wouldn’t be lined with titles telling people how to do just that. Take heart and know that you’re not the only one who struggles with forgiveness.  Identifying why forgiveness is difficult for you, however, could be the first step in resolving the anger issue that’s holding you back from happiness.

Here’s 10 Reasons it is So Hard to Forgive…

1  We might feel trust is broken or we’ve been betrayed.

2  We don’t want to let them off the hook.

3  We think forgiveness means that we let them in our lives again.

4  If we forgive and forget it will happen again.

5  When we want to feel superior. This usually happens when we want an apology.

6  We believe anger stops it from happening again.

7  We believe our resentment can punish others.

8  We want them to take responsibility for their actions.

9  We want then to be willing to remedy the situation.

10  We believe we must forgive the truth and not our perception of it.

Another reason why there are so many books about the art of forgiveness is because it’s important.  Forgiving someone — and often ourselves — can lead to a greater awareness, a shift in stuck energy and a happier, more blissful life.

 

Visit the About Forgiveness section.

To help you learn to forgive, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

How to Recognize a Good Life Coach

So you have decided to hire a life coach, but how do you pick the perfect one? Someone who won’t let you get away with your “stuff” but won’t confuse, anger or do nothing for you.

Here Are Ways to Recognize a Good Life Coach…

When they…

  • Custom fit the sessions for you and your issues.

 

  • Have overcome many of their own issues.

 

  • Are both a consultant/adviser and a coach. This will save you a lot of money, time, and in the long run, get you better results.

 

  • Have a specialty or niche that fits your core beliefs.

 

  • Make you think differently and raise your awareness.

 

  • Have the courage to say things you might feel uncomfortable hearing.

 

  • Have the ability to use their intuition, knowing the right thing to say and the right time to say it.

 

  • Can energize and inspire you.

 

  • Are, for the most part, non-judgmental. You want someone you feel you can talk to about almost anything.

Hiring a good life coach can ignite your drive, focus your dreams and get you there faster. But take a little time to get to know them, listen to your gut feelings and most importantly, find out if you can talk to them. Talk to them honestly and openly and see that they do the same with you.

Other information about individual coaching by Vickie Champion you might be interested in:

How to Recognize a Bad Life Coach

When Hiring a Life Coach Is NOT Worth it!

Advantages of NOT Hiring a Life Coach

or visit the entire About Coaching section.
For more advice on personal coaching, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

By Vickie Champion

Is Life Coaching Only for the Mentally Ill?

Yesterday, a potential individual coaching client told me that he thought life coaching was for people that are mentally ill. WOW!  That blew my mind.

It’s funny how athletes think nothing of having a coach for their team, musicians will hire a tutor, and businesses have consultants. But when it comes to learning ways to live a better life there is a tendency to think there is something wrong with us if we have a life coach.

To answer the question, is life coaching for the mentally ill, the answer is NO. Life coaching is for people that want an easier, happier way to live and are either tired of trying to figure it out by themselves or want impartial, personal advice.

Other information about coaching by Vickie Champion you might be interested in:

When Hiring a Life Coach Is NOT Worth it!

Advantages of NOT Hiring a Life Coach

 

or visit the entire About Coaching section.
For more advice on personal coaching, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

When Hiring a Life Coach Is Worth It!

Life coaches, like all good coaches whatever the discipline, usually have a gift for bringing out the best in their people. This can mean providing encouragement, new strategies and techniques, and on occasion, providing a dose of tough love. The rewards are better performances in all aspects of life, including family, business, personal and spiritual. When you’re ready to get clear, change things up for the better and commit to a better life hiring a personal coach is worth it.

Life Coaching is Definitely Worth it When We…

  • Are ready to hear what others might have been afraid to say — the good, the bad, the ultimate truth toward our happiness.

 

  • Are willing to fully participate in making a change.

 

  • Find ourselves tired of struggling to figure it out or want some unbiased, personal advice.

 

  • Make the time and effort to put the new insights into practice.

 

  • Undertake the process of finding the perfect coach for us within our budget.

 

  • Have a strong desire to live an easier, happier life and be a better person.

 

  • Hiring a individual coach is a commitment to your own best life.  Life coaches grease the wheels so you can get where you’d like to go faster, smarter and with a clear direction.

Other information about coaching by Vickie Champion you might be interested in:

When Hiring a Life Coach Is NOT Worth it!

Advantages of NOT Hiring a Life Coach

or visit the entire About Coaching section.

When Hiring a Life Coach Is NOT Worth It!

Just recently, a client of mine and I agreed to end her individual coaching sessions. She just couldn’t get into it. There is a right time for everything and sometimes spending the money and time on something you are not ready for, is a waste.

Life Coaching is not Worth it AT ALL When you…

  • Don’t want to hear things that take you out of your comfort zone.

 

  • Want to keep blaming everyone and everything else for your current jam.

 

  • Are adamant to be right instead of being happier.

 

  • Aren’t willing to make the effort or time to really work on anything new or different.

 

  • Shell out tons of money you don’t have hoping the adage, “you get what you pay for” holds true. You shouldn’t have to go into debt to find a personal coach who is a good match for you.

 

  • Are fine with a mediocre miserable life, where life is not that bad, but it’s not that good either.

 

  • Are determined to keep engaging in the same behaviors over and over with the same attitude, expecting a different result.

If you agree with some of these, don’t bother to hire a life coach no matter how many and how often your loved ones suggest it.
Other information about coaching by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

Advantages of NOT Hiring a Life Coach

or visit the entire About Coaching section.

For more advice on personal coaching, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

9 Benefits of Forgiving Ourselves

One way to feel lighter, free, more optimistic and charged once again with purpose is to forgive yourself. Is there something that you’ve done or not done that you have been holding onto? If it’s time to let go of the past so you and your loved ones can proceed with a brighter future, consider these reasons for forgiving yourself today.

We can…

1  Have a happier and more rewarding life.
2  Take advantage of using our intuition.
3  Experience a healthier life, with less sickness and disease.
4  Understand what freedom feels like.
5  Avoid energy loss and depression by not storing ugly memories.
6  Help others forgive themselves.
7  Manifest our wildest dreams.
8  Stop attracting the same kind of dramatic situations and unhealthy relationships.
9  Build our self-esteem, instead of wasting time tearing it down.

We don’t need to remain in a cage or state of punishment by not forgiving ourselves. It doesn’t do anyone any good. Regain your energy, your freedom and your self-esteem by acknowledging the episode or pattern that is making you feel bad, thanking it for the lesson and letting go of the hurt by forgiving yourself.

To help you learn to forgive, you can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Feel Worthy COURSE

This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself to be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

 

12 Benefits of Not Forgiving Ourselves

What you’ve done is not the reason you’re not forgiving yourself. It’s what you want to continue to do. Think about that. There’s a reason – one that you feel is pretty darn good – for continuing to hold onto that self scorn. We always think we have good reasons for what we do. And maybe we do, or did. Is it time to change your reason for not forgiving yourself? Consider these 12 benefits or excuses we have for not forgiving ourselves.

We can have an EXCUSE to…

1  Talk about ourselves with a self-condemning overtone.

2  Place others ahead of ourselves.

3  Hold onto bad habits like overeating and over spending to punish ourselves.

4  Deflect gifts or compliments from others.

5  Feel intimidated when we’re around others.

6  Stay stuck in time, reliving events over and over.

7  Neglect self-care.

8  Delay going for our dream job.

9  Preoccupy our time with ugly memories.

10  Deprive ourselves of the things we want to do, be or have.

11  Ignore our intuition.

12  Pat ourselves on the back for being right.

Did you recognize yourself in any of these statements? Well for heaven sakes don’t condemn yourself anymore! Just be aware. Smile on that self-awareness and know that with it things have already started to change.

 

Check out the entire About Forgiveness section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

  

8 Signs You Have NOT Forgiven Someone

Forgiveness can be like cleaning out your closet. At first, it’s dreaded as one difficult, if not impossible, task. But once the contents have been cleared, sorted and organized, everything feels better – lighter.
Do the contents of your spirit need to be assessed? Forgiveness is one pathway toward clearing and freeing the spirit. We can say we have forgiven someone, but have we?

Here’s how to tell if you still need to do more forgiveness work-

When you…

1   Use what the person said or did as a topic of conversation.

2   Daydream about getting revenge or some kind of justice. A good example of this is attending your high school reunion and showing them.

3   Preoccupy your mind day in and day out either reliving or dwelling on the situation or the person’s behaviors.

4   Get annoyed if someone even mentions the person.

5   Have a tendency to avoid the person.

6   Are secretly delighted to hear about the person’s current difficulties and losses.

7   Strongly believe you have been unfairly treated and are an innocent victim.

8   Have friends and family that are tired of talking about the person and the latest drama.

Forgiveness is usually more of a process than we are willing to admit. If there’s still work to do, that’s OK! Now you know that you need to continue the process of forgiving to create a lighter, more expansive you.

To help you learn to forgive, you can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

Feel Worthy COURSE

This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself to be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

 

What’s A Higher Priority? Losing Weight or Being Happy?

You may think just shedding those extra pounds would be satisfying. Sure, it would be nice to fit into smaller clothes and be able to cross your legs without a great deal of effort. But the question is, “If getting rid of the excess fat was so satisfying then why do we gain it back?”

Here’s Some Points to Consider when Putting Losing Weight as a Higher Priority…

  • We revolve our lives around things we think we “need” to do, like following the latest diet, counting fat grams, reading food labels, weighing food, exercising, taking pills or even preparing for surgery. Not only do these tasks take a lot of our energy, but they also steer us away from doing things that give us pleasure and that we thoroughly enjoy.

 

  • Our thoughts focus on what we think we “should” look like. This leaves little room for accepting and loving ourselves the way we are.

 

  • We spend time comparing ourselves with others or yesterday’s weight with today’s. Comparison results in either feeling superior or inferior, neither of which is very pleasant.

 

  • We put many things in our life on hold until we are satisfied with our looks. Waiting to lose weight delays happiness now.

 

  • We are self-absorbed, focusing on “How can I bring attention to myself?” This leads us away from expressing love and asking, “What can I give?”

 

  • We might buy into the latest research and peer pressure, not letting our intuition or gut instinct guide our decisions.

Now, take a moment and look deep inside. Don’t you really want to be released from sacrifice, guilty feelings, and the constant obsession about food? Wouldn’t it be nice to not fret over what to eat, when, and how much? Or no longer fear what food might do to you if you eat it? Essentially, wouldn’t you rather put being happy a higher priority?

We have to get to the point that we are so exhausted from changing our behavior and waiting for that perfect figure, that we become willing to change the way we think. The first step is to put being happy before losing weight. And only when that happens, do we allow ourselves to stop sacrificing and begin to feel peace.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session about changing your relationship with food.  

A Story on Learning How to Love

When you think of “learn to love” most people think of learning how to love others and ourselves.

Here’s a story about something no one thinks about…

Year’s ago I had a very painful experience that I want to share with you. It all started when my dishwasher broke. Just like most repairs I called a repairman and forgot all about it. He showed up a couple of days later and said we needed to replace a part and he would order it right away and call us when it was in.

Three weeks later I had a feeling I should call and check up on it. I found out he forgot to order the part and promised he would right after we got off of the phone.  After another three weeks he comes with the part and we find out he ordered the wrong part.

That was just the start of the delays, one thing after another happened anywhere from back ordering the part, computer system went down, shipping company losing the part, to the technician was on vacation. I really started to pay attention when the same stuff happened when we changed repair companies.

It was going on 4 months and I was at my wits end. Since I teach my coaching clients about being in the flow, I had to figure out what the lesson was here so it could finally get it resolved. At last I had a ah-hah moment.

Ever since I can remember, I hated doing dishes. Just the idea of maybe touching leftover food, scouring pots and pans, greasy stuck on food particles, dishes, made me cringe. I knew what I had to do. I had to learn how to love doing dishes.

Once I changed my mind about loving to do dishes, the dishwasher was fixed. Now sometimes I catch myself doing the dishes by hand because I don’t mind it anymore.

I think our lesson is to learn how to love everything we dislike, not just others and ourselves.

 

If you have a nagging dislike that you need help with learning how to love it, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

 

 

 

How to Get Rid of Feeling Guilty!

You don’t have to be stuck with that churning feeling in your gut called guilt. Many times we don’t even consider whether guilt is something we can overcome. We just assume we must live with it like a bad haircut. But guilt can be transformed.

Warning! Before you read this blog, you might want to read the blog on “What is Guilt?” so this will make more sense.

Remember guilt is nothing more than making up a rule or belief we think we need to follow and then breaking it.

Here are Three Ways to Release Guilt:

1 We can make up a NEW rule to follow.

An example is:
The original rule was “Good parents spend time with their kids.” If we change it to “Good parents love their children,” the guilt releases.

2 We can THROW OUT the old rule completely.

An example is:
The original rule was “In order to lose weight, I have to stay on this diet.” Simply toss out the old rule with a thought of, “Thanks for sharing, but I don’t believe that rule any longer.  I can lose weight in hundreds of ways.”

3 We can admit we did something that didn’t BUILD our self-esteem and then do something about it that WILL.

An example is:
The original rule might have been “Good sales people offer customers products that would be good for them.” Rather than selling your client a product to earn a commission, you decide instead to follow your original rule whether you get paid for it or not.

Guilt feels awful. But it doesn’t have to continue to eat us up inside. We can begin to see guilt as a signal that something about our beliefs or behaviors need to change.

Other info on feeling guilt by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

What is Guilt?

The Guilt Cycle

          10 Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over

          6 Reasons Women Feel Guilty

          9 Things That Can Cause Anyone Guilt

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

By Vickie Champion  

A Story About Overcoming Guilt

I often tell this story because it reminds me how much I need others to help open my mind and how we can sometimes transform our guilt into something positive.

THE STORY

Just before my grandmother passed away, she made me a bright pink and raspberry red throw for the couch. If you know me, you know bright, bold colors are not my style.

Even though I was plagued with guilt, for several years I was unable to even get it out of the bag and use it. I had so much guilt, I discussed this with my life coach at the time and she said  ”If you don’t like it, it wasn’t really made for you. You’re only supposed to deliver it to the rightful owner.”

I had an “ah-hah” moment.

Relieved of guilt, I put the throw in a garage sale. I wanted to sell it to the right person, someone who would love it. I got many offers, but it didn’t feel right until I noticed this young girl looking at it. She told me the throw was the most beautiful thing she had seen, but she didn’t have enough money to buy it. I told the girl about my grandmother. Then I told her she could have the throw. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes.

I thought my grandmother had given me a throw. Instead she gave me an unbelievable experience that still brings tears to my eyes. I never will forget this wonderful gift.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt. 

Feel Worthy COURSE

This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself to be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

 

6 Reasons Why Women Feel So Guilty


Because a popular topic in coaching sessions with women clients is “how to overcome guilt,” it got me thinking. Why are my women client’s plagued with this and it never comes up in the sessions with the men?

I did some research on guilt and was not surprised to see it referred to as the “women’s disease.” See if you recognize yourself or the women in your life in any of these symptoms.

Common Reasons Women Feel so Guilty…

Women tend to…

1 Put others first no matter what. We’ll do and buy things for everyone else and then feel guilty when we consider those things for ourselves. Men tend to think they are at least equal to others.

2 Worry about everything from being in debt, if the furniture just purchased is the right color, to whether something they said might have possibly hurt someone’s feelings. Men tend to put their focus on achieving their dreams.

3 Be perfectionists.  If we make mistakes, we feel guilty. Men tend to think mistakes are a way to find out what won’t work.

4 Believe saying “no” is not loving and downright wrong. Then we are programmed every time we do say “no” to feel guilty. Men tend to use their gut instincts. They know some of the time the right thing to do and most loving is to say “yes” and some of the time it is to say “no.”

5 Reflect and analyze more than men. In turn that causes us to judge ourselves and feel guilty.

6 Take control. We go to extremes with this—trying to hold everything
together like helping the kids with their homework, decorating our home, buying gifts for relatives, planning holidays, making sure there is something in the fridge, taking care of our aging parents, and paying all the bills, just to name a few. Then, as if that wasn’t enough control, we take responsibility for others’ feelings, do their chores, and try solving their problems the whole time boasting about our multi-tasking. Men tend to think their world won’t fall apart if they drop the ball.

Did any of those reasons women feel guilty find you nodding along? We really need to pay attention and learn from the guys. They are showing us by example how to live our lives the easier way, without guilt.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

9 Things That Can Cause Anyone A Lot of Guilt

Feeling poorly about yourself? Like you could and should do better? Maybe it’s guilt. Guilt acts as a negative detour in your life, prohibiting you from taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself and pursuing your dreams, among other things.

Here are Nine Reasons my Life and Business Coaching Clients Give for Feeling Guilty…

1  Filing bankruptcy.

2  Not doing it all, being the super mom or dad.

3  Getting divorced.

4  Ending a relationship.

5  Gaining weight.

6  Not caring for your elderly parents properly.

7  Cheating on your spouse.

8  Losing a loved one.

9  Not working.

I am exploring guilt in this series because so many of my clients suffer from it. Some do not even know that it is guilt that is sabotaging them.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

10 Popular Things that Women Feel Guilty Over

Women collect, feed and refuse to let them go. Men? Not so much. I’m talking about reasons to feel guilty. Women are often serial guilt-hoarders. Storing so much guilt inside their bodies and lives and then when encouraged to release some of it, they decline. In all my years as a business and life coach, the number of women struggling daily with guilt issues far out number the men.

Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over are…

1  Eating forbidden foods, you know, the ones full of sugar.

2  Balancing life as a working mom.

3  Doing nothing.  We think we need to fix everything for everybody.

4  Eating chocolate.

5  Relaxing.

6  Not having a knock-em dead body.

7  Spending too much money.

8  Not doing more to take care of our parents.

9  Spending money on self-growth, hobbies, or self-care like massages. An exception is if anything is used to achieve a knock-em dead body.

10  Receiving praise we feel is undeserved.
Women have cornered the market when it comes to feeling guilty.  Women take on a lot of responsibility and when they refuse to meet their own expectations they feel guilty.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

The Guilt Cycle

Notice how no matter what we do to relieve guilt it never fades away? It’s like a never ending cycle. I’ll explain why.

1 Remember, the only way we can feel guilty is to start with making up a rule we think we need to follow and then try to follow it.

Example… Loving mothers stay home when their kids are young.

2 We start feeling deprived.

Example… We need more money to pay the bills.

3 We then break the rule.

Example… We get a job.

4 We begin to feel guilty about breaking the rule.

Example… We think we are hurting our kids in some way.

5 We try to relieve the guilt.

Example… We buy our kids some extra toys to make up for it.

And here we go again…

1 We create another rule to follow to relieve the guilt.

Example… Good mothers who work give their kids anything they want.

2 We feel deprived again.

Example… There is still not enough money to pay all the bills.

3 We then discard the original rule to follow the current rule.

Example… Then we work longer hours to get a promotion or take on an extra job.

 

And so on…


You can contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

Feel Worthy COURSE

This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself to be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

 

What is Guilt?

Hey, you know that unsettled feeling in your stomach? The hang-your-head, slink-away, don’t-even-look-at-me feeling? It’s guilt. You know it when you feel it and you may even know what’s causing it. But do you know what guilt is?

Guilt is nothing more than making up a rule we think we need to follow and then breaking it.

Examples are:

  • The rule might be “In order to lose weight, I have to stay on this diet.” Then you break the rule buying eating a piece of chocolate. This causes enormous guilt.

 

  • The rule could be “Good parents spend time with their kids.” Then you get busy at work and neglect them which causes guilt.

 

  • The rule might be “Good sales people offer customers products what would be good for them.” Because your company has discontinued paying commissions on what would be best for your client, you sell them something else. You feel guilty.

Watch for my upcoming blogs that deal with how to get rid of guilt. You don’t have to absorb guilt and bear its weight like an over-packed shoulder bag. Learn my tools, tips and tricks for easing and eliminating the guilt.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session on overcoming your guilt.

The Heaviest Movie I Have Ever Seen!

I just rented  As it is in Heaven for the second time and will probably see it again and again.  It is the deepest and most progressive movie I’ve seen and I see a lot of movies.  It is packed with in-depth, courageous and insightful messages. I stopped counting at 24 and I am sure when I see it again, I will find more.

This was a Swedish movie with English subtitles and it didn’t faze me.  Rather, reading what was said provided clarity so I could absorb the points that were conveyed.  A couple of times I had to pause the movie, having a hard time believing they had the guts to bring concepts out in the open like, “There is no sin. The churches made it up.”

If you are “A Course in Miracles” student, interested in personal growth, or just want a movie that makes you to think, I highly recommend it.

You can contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Benefits of Using Making a Difference to Motivate!

To me, this is the most evolved of the three methods of motivating.  Not only does it inspire and propel us into action, but it also helps others. This method is the desire to get better and better at something that really matters.

Benefits of Using Making a Difference to Motivate…

We ..

1 Are motivated by how we feel when working on projects. The fun is in mastering the challenge of a given problem.

2 Are motivated by experimenting with possibilities and devising solutions.

3 Like to be recognized for our accomplishments instead of requiring costly rewards.

4 Don’t need someone to micromanage us, making sure we reach our goals.

Using fear and the desire to prosper may have their place as methods of motivating employees or ourselves.  But making a difference can encourage feel-good productivity because it rewards the soul.
Other related quiz and blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

 

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Ineffective Way to do an Affirmation

I gave this affirmation to an Newport Beach, CA life coaching client of mine:  “Above all else, I want to be happy.” At her next coaching session she blurted out “Your mantra isn’t working. I don’t feel any better.” I asked her how she was doing the affirmation. She said she was using Twitter. Several times a day, she would paste and cut the affirmation into a new tweet.

There’s the answer. When we paste and cut words, we put our minds on auto-pilot. In order to reap the positive benefits of affirmations we need to actually think about them. The more frequently we repeat our affirmations through writing or verbally –and think about them as we do this — the quicker and more amazing the results.
 

Other related blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

The Advantages of Doing Affirmations

What Are Affirmations

or check out the entire Life in General section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

When to Use the Desire to Prosper to Motivate!

Up until 2008, most individuals and companies have used the desire to prosper as their main method of motivation. We were in an era where most people had their basic needs of food and shelter met and were focusing on becoming wealthy or very profitable.

When to Use the Desire to Prosper to Motivate…

1 When people are not afraid and focused on survival but are ready to thrive.

2 When someone is easily motivated by dangling carrots—getting rewards for certain outcomes.

Problems with Using the Desire to Prosper to Motivate…

1 After a certain income level, which is subjective for each individual, it gets extremely hard to motivate most people with more rewards.  For example, if someone is making $200,000 a year and has and does everything they desire, they are less likely to work harder for more money.

2 Rewards narrow our focus. People will pursue the reward, but fail to see the big picture or solve problems. An example is when you are focused on making increasing amounts of money but don’t realize your overspending addiction.

3 It creates short-term outcomes and disregards long-term effects. An example of that is BP cutting corners to get the oil well completed on time.

4 Goals imposed by others (sales targets, quarterly returns, standardized test scores) can have dangerous side effects. People will often choose the quickest route there, even if it means taking the low road. (Cheating, steroids, moving the numbers.)

5 People who are motivated by profiting, grow more expensive as time passes. An example of that are the banks handing out outrageous bonuses to employees.

As you can see, motivating by the desire to prosper can be a slippery slide. Too many dangling carrots can easily get us in trouble and cost us more in the long run.

Other related quiz and blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

Quiz- How Ready Are You to Get Your Dreams?

Three Methods of Motivating Yourself and Your Employees

When to Use Fear to Motivate!

or check out the entire Life in General section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

When to Use Fear to Motivate!

Believe it or not, many of us wait and take action only when we are afraid. Consider how many businesses are just now getting into social media to attract disappearing customers. Or think about or how many individuals have begun saving money now only because they fear the unstable economy. Fear can be a great motivator, but there are times it’s not effective.

Use Fear to Motivate When Someone…

1 Needs a wake up call. A good example of this is driving after drinking and having a car wreck.

2 Wants to get immediate results. A good example of this is making your sales goals this month.

Stop Using Fear to Motivate When Someone…

1 Starts ignoring the threats. For example, kids who are fed up with a parent’s unrealistic demands.

2 Wants to just escape from what is fearful.  For example, choosing to quit your job to find something easier.

Fear can be an excellent motivator but only on a short-term basis. Our desire to feel safe and secure soon becomes the overpowering force.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

How We Under Use the Power of Thought

It always fascinates me what we accept as fact, how these “facts” have power over us and why we tolerate them. We never stop to think that all we need to do is change our minds.

The Sizzling Story

The scorching summer heat in Phoenix, AZ can be absolutely miserable. Everywhere you go you hear people complaining and rearranging their whole life around the temperature.

Well several years ago when I moved here from 70-degree, year-round San Diego, Calif., I had to start practicing what I was preaching. I thought about all those years I lived in Denver, Colo. and never thought much about the cold and snow. So why was I letting the heat rule my life now? I made a decision back then to change forever my thoughts about the heat to, “I will not let the weather disturb me in anyway.”

I realized the power of my thoughts and what I had really done on a summer afternoon a couple of weeks later. I caught myself standing in the sun talking to a client for about 20 minutes. When I got in the car and turned on the radio the announcer said the current temperature was 114 degrees. What fascinated me was I never noticed the temperature.

I am sure there are others — landscapers, construction workers, and joggers – here in Phoenix who know the secret to tolerating the heat. I am proud to be one of them.
To find out more about the power of thought contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

How to Use Your Intuition Dating

Most of us forget to trust our “intuition” or “gut instincts” with simple things like finding a boy/girl friend. It usually means the difference between having a difficult relationship that is more stressful than it’s worth or finding a relationship that is pleasant, low-maintenance and amazing.

Whether you’re on your first date or have been dating for some time, one of the easiest ways to detect a great relationship is to pay attention to the flow. Below are some simple ways to know if you’re heading for a difficult, ho-hum or disastrous relationship.

12 Signs Your Date is NOT Perfect for You:

When you…

1    Often play phone tag.

2    Notice your date doesn’t want to know more about you.

3    Observe there is no flow to the conversation. At times you have nothing to say or talk about.

4    Have difficulty getting on the same page, which leads to little misunderstandings.

5    Avoid discussing certain subjects, like having kids. Or you find yourself telling little white lies because you’re afraid of the response.

6    Are concerned about what your date will think of you if you tell the truth and are yourself.

7    Can’t get yourself to bring up certain questions.

8    Have a hard time getting your date to answer your questions.

9    Find your date getting upset when something changes or isn’t flexible.

10  Or your date forgets the details about your next get together.

11  Have an uncomfortable feeling inside when he or she compliments you.

12  Don’t feel good inside anytime during or right after the date.

As a life coach, I’ve noticed if you observe some of these “intuitive” signs, there is no way you can change yourself or your date to make it work. No matter how hard you try, the relationship is what it is. Essentially, you’re not listening to your “intuition” and you are trying to “make do” with someone other than your perfect date. Your perfect date, by the way, is still waiting for you while you’re ignoring your intuition! So keep looking! You will save a lot of headaches and time if you do.
A quiz, you might be interested in is:

Quiz-How Often do You Listen to Your Intuition?

or check out the entire About Intuition section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

Signs you Really Need to Improve a Relationship!

Are you person A? The Avoider? You have a difficult relationship with a client, boss, co-worker, friend, spouse or any other relationship so you spend much of your day on autopilot. You are desperately trying to eliminate all thoughts and dealings with him or her. Out of sight, out of ear-shot, out of mind, you think.

Or are you person B? The Bad Mouther? You spend a lot of your time thinking about what that person said or did, and, in fact, bad mouthing them to anyone who will listen?

Here are Some More Signs we Really Need to Improve a Relationship…

When we…

  • Are scared to tell that person the truth.
  • Have verbal arguments.
  • Find ourselves judging that person and telling others.
  • Go over and over in our minds what we need to do about a situation and how that person will react to it.
  • Think it’s easier to give in than irritate that person.
  • Pay little attention, if any, to how we’re feeling about the situation.
  • Say yes to that person when we really want to say no.
  • Depend on the relationship to be successful.
  • Start taking that person for granted.
  • Notice that person is either avoiding or scared of us.

By taking the time to improve our difficult relationships we can become person C, the Choice maker. It’s up to us, we can continue our difficult  relationship with that person or choose instead to improve it and benefit from it.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.

How to Feel Safe in These Crazy Times

It seems like the world is getting a little crazier. There are natural disasters from earthquakes to volcano eruptions, angry political rallying and celebrity affairs that get weirder with every news report.

Trust your Intuition
One of the ways to start feeling safer is to stop putting all our faith in the experts, government, laws, and anyone or anything out there that is promising us security. Instead, let’s start trusting our gut instincts. You know, that silent voice or knowing inside that can quell our fears, pull us out of any jam in an instant, and solve any situation without hurting any one. I call it my intuition.

How do we do that?
Easy for you, you might say. But how do we listen to our intuition?

Here are Five Easy Steps:

1 Have a Willingness-
The most important requirement in listening to our intuition is the willingness to hear the answer.

2 Get to Neutral-
If we get our past experiences, our judgments, and what we think is  right and wrong out of our way, we can observe and pay attention to our intuition.

3 Ask the Question-
We will not hear our intuitive answers until we ask. And if we ask, we will receive.

4 Acknowledge the Answer-
There are lots of ways to get answers. Visions, in our dreams or as a feeling in the pit of our stomach, just to name a few.

5 Accept the Answer that is Given and Follow it-
This is the step we usually don’t do. Have you ever found yourself saying, “I knew it, I just didn’t do it.” It’s important to honor our intuition and not judge it.

Shutting out our own internal chatter and the barrage of crazy chatter in the world to hear out intuition can take practice. Begin simply by asking questions and seeing what you hear, feel or see. Later, check back with yourself to see if the advice you were given turned out to be true and beneficial. Soon enough, you’ll distinguish your inner knowing voice from the rest.
Other related articles and blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

Signs We are Feeling Unsafe

How to Feel Safe During Uncertainty

Defining Intuition

Great Ways to Awaken Your Intuition

Signs We’re Releasing Fear

Signs we Might be in Fear

9 Ways to Get Rid of Fear

38 Ways Fear Can Harm Us

or check out the entire About Intuition section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

Signs We Are Feeling Unsafe!

It seems to me that we are in the middle of some crazy times and many of us are feeling unsafe and insecure. We feel unsafe about the government, the economy, global warming, our job, our career, our finances, the future, or just about anything else we can think of.

Signs We Are Feeling Unsafe:

We start…

  • Worrying when something changes.
  • Judging others.
  • Complaining often.
  • Using food, smoking, pills or alcohol or anything else to relieve our stress.
  • Feeling hopeless and doomed to fail.
  • Failing to appreciate anything right in our lives.
  • Taking sides.
  • Being easily deceived by others.
  • Ignoring our intuition.
  • Getting angry with what’s happening or who is causing it.
  • Having confrontations with others.
  • Becoming defensive.
  • Turning into someone unpleasant to be around.

Feeling unsafe can easily lead to anger. Anger can easily lead to hate. Hate can easily lead to sacrifice. And sacrifice can easily lead to suffering. To put it bluntly, feeling unsafe can bring about the very things we fear. 

Other related articles and blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

How to Feel Safe During Uncertainty

Signs We’re Releasing Fear

Signs we Might be in Fear

9 Ways to Get Rid of Fear

38 Ways Fear Can Harm Us

or check out the entire About Intuition section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

12 Ways to Kill Your Dreams!

It surprises me that so many people want to ignore, deny or sabotage their dreams.

Here are Some Ways to Kill Your Dreams…

  • Pretend you don’t know what your dreams are.
  • Brainwash yourself into thinking you are not good enough to ever achieve your dreams.
  • Keep your habit of impulse buying so you can tell others you don’t have enough money to go for your dreams.
  • Wait for the perfect time to start working on your dreams, maybe after the kids are grown, or when you have all the bills paid off.
  • Don’t share your dreams with anyone so you can avoid having anyone support or help you achieve your dreams.
  • Get busy with pleasing other people, instead.
  • Keep your office, home and life full of clutter to hide your imagination.
  • Do lots of activities you’ll later feel guilty about.
  • Doubt yourself and your abilities a lot.
  • Tailor your entire life so you stay in your comfort zone.
  • Focus entirely on quick fixes instead of achieving long-term goals.
  • Use problems, either yours or others, as your only topic of conversation.

Can you think of other ways to Kill your Dreams?

Others quizzes, articles and blogs you might be interested in are:

Quiz: How Ready are You to Get your Dreams?

12 Benefits of Not Going After your Dream Job

Do You Know What your Dreams Are?

Five Mindsets that Sabotage your Dreams

or check out Vickie’s entire About Life in General section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

The Advantages of Doing Affirmations

For more than a decade now, I have suggested affirmations or mantras as a tool to solve just about any problem. I have seen them work at increasing sales, making peace in relationships and kicking bad habits. Out of the hundreds of workshop attendees and business coaching and life coaching clients I’ve had, I have yet to see anyone who did affirmations on a consistent basis who did not benefit from them.

Here are Some of the Many Advantages of Doing Affirmations…

  • We see quick RESULTS with little effort.
  • They help us achieve our DREAMS.
  • Affirmations build CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM.
  • The repetition helps us stay FOCUSED on our goals.
  • They are effective in changing worn out HABITS and creating better ones.
  • Affirmations get us out of the FEAR.
  • We run our business or live the life we WANT.
  • They make unpleasant TASKS less painful.
  • Our ANGER is removed.
  • Affirmations renew our MOTIVATION.
  • We eliminate the need to BLAME everyone and everything for our problems.
  • The short sayings bring HOPE into any situation.
  • They help us SLEEP at night.
  • Affirmations eliminate CONFUSION when making decisions.
  • Allow us time to APPRECIATE what we did do, instead of focusing on  what we didn’t.
  • Affirmations deaden the desire to COMPLAIN.
  • The right phrase can release the DRAMA in our lives.
  • Affirmations keep our business and life in BALANCE.

 

Never underestimate the power of affirmations. As you get in the habit of using them, you will see affirmations as a strong ally in solving problems, dissolving fear and achieving even the biggest, craziest, reach-for-the-moon dreams.
Other related blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

What are Affirmations?

If you have more questions about affirmations to write them down click here.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

What are Affirmations?

I just had a coaching client from Orange County, Calif. ask me, “What are affirmations or mantras, anyway? Can you define it for me?” It’s become so natural to me that I assumed everyone knew about them. This is for those of you who could use Affirmations 101.

Affirmations are any thought you think over and over. It is the act of affirming a belief. So in essence every thought that has been adopted as a belief is an affirmation of some sort.

I usually have my coaching clients repeat an affirmation until they start believing it. Then it becomes a natural part of who you are.

You can think it, say it, or write it. I even had a coaching client from New York City who would sing her affirmations. The most time consuming, but also the most effective, is to write the affirmations down by hand. I think that’s why years ago teachers would make you stay after school and write a statement 50 times on the blackboard.

Affirmations are based on the theory, “Every thought you think has an effect.” So if you can put more positive thoughts in your head than negative, it will change your life. I’m telling you, it does.

Most of the time I start my beginning coaching sessions by having clients do affirmations for the simple reason it provides quick relief for the least amount of effort.

 

Other related blogs by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

The Advantages of Doing Affirmations

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

One Way to Get Rid of the Fear of Public Speaking

Public speaking is, by far, my greatest fear. I was completely and utterly terrified of speaking in a group. I would even forgo attending meetings and workshops if I knew I would have to announce my name to the group.

Fortunately, my intuition gave me a way to move past this fear. Each and every one of the 1000 or so times I’ve done public speaking, I speak to (God, universe, source, inner guide, higher self, whatever you identify with) first. I tell God, “this is your event – let me speak your words, hear with your ears, see with your eyes, and touch with your hands and let me not judge anything that happens.” This “letting go and letting God” releases my stage fright every time.

 

You can contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

9 Good Reasons to Keep Your Dreams on the Back Burner

Everyone says go for your dreams.  But if you haven’t first dealt with your sabotaging beliefs, your dreams will stay at the starting gate instead of manifesting in your life.

Here are 9 Good Reasons to Keep Your Dreams on the Back Burner-

I believe…

  • My dreams aren’t really that important.
  • It takes money to achieve my dreams.
  • I don’t have time to pursue my dreams.
  • It’s more difficult to go for my dreams because I have a family.
  • If I achieve my dreams, my relationships will change for the worse.
  • If I attempt to get my dreams and don’t succeed, I’ll feel like a failure.
  • I’ll wait and go for my dreams when I solve my money problems.
  • The closer I get to achieving my dreams, the more responsibility I’ll have.
  • If I accomplish my dreams, I’m afraid I won’t be happy.

If you really want to take your dreams seriously, you must change those limiting thoughts.
If you want to know if you are ready to get your dreams, take Vickie Champion’s QUIZ.

How to Use Traveling as a Way to “Stay in the Moment”

We’ve all heard about meditation as a way to stay in the moment.  But we can learn to be present in any situation, any time of the day, anywhere with anyone without meditating. An easy opportunity to practice being mindful of the present moment is through travel.

Here’s How to Stay in the Moment When you Travel…

  • To be in the present moment the most important thing you can do is release thinking you KNOW what’s going to happen on the trip, when it’s going to happen, how your traveling companions are going to act and how you’re going to react when something does happen.
  • The next important thing to stay in the moment is to avoid putting too much emphasis on being happy in the FUTURE – when I get there, when I see that, I’ll be happy.
  • Traveling puts you at an advantage of staying in the moment. Why? Because if you were to put yourself on AUTOMATIC PILOT, like we often do when we’re home and passing familiar landmarks, you’ll get lost. So by the mere fact that you are on an adventure makes it more likely that you’ll relish the moment.
  • Remembering to add in breathing room to the travel schedule, giving yourself time to relax and enjoy the moment. Don’t jam the SCHEDULE so tight that if anything takes longer you add stress.
  • Focusing on things not related to the trip (problems, difficult relationships, to-do-list) can distract you from staying in the moment. We’ll call it a WANDERING MIND. I don’t do any work at all, not even checking e-mails or voice mails. It all can wait.
  • Pay attention and soak up what is in the present. Each moment as you travel, be AWARE of what you see, sounds you hear, the people and creatures around you and how you feel.
  • When all else fails, stay in the moment when traveling by playing a game of APPRECIATION.

You might ask why? Because if you can stay in the moment you will have an unbelievable trip, something you have never experienced before.

To read more, visit the article Everything you Want to Know About “Being in the Moment” .

Advantages of NOT Hiring a Life Coach

Maybe you’ve heard how a life coach can help you achieve your goals. Or you might know someone who has used a life coach to help them through troubled times. It’s great there are life coaches to help those who need it, but you’re NOT one of them. You are HAPPY with the way things are.

Here are a Few of the Many Advantages of NOT Hiring a Life Coach-

  • You can AVOID doing something about your problems, thinking day after day, “Tomorrow will be better.” Lately, I think most people who have money issues are doing this.
  • You can continue believing sleepless nights, fighting with your spouse, family and friends, feeling guilty and being afraid all the time are NORMAL.
  • You can treat your friends to long CONVERSATIONS about your problems.
  • You can keep yourself USEFUL by putting out one fire after another.
  • You can appear SELF-RELIANT by trying to break your old patterns and solve problems with no one else’s help.
  • You can continue to ENVY the lives of others.
  • You can SAVE money! And you can take satisfaction in this, even if does mean sacrificing a quality of life and spending several stressful years of hard work.

If these advantages sound appealing, DO NOT hire a life coach. There’s a good chance, they will ruin this for you. A good life coach has a tendency to help you become self-aware, increase your self-respect, end your self-sacrifice, give you self-confidence and build your self-esteem.

If these advantages don’t appeal to you, you can read the coaching section on her website or contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

Signs We’re Releasing Fear

What’s so great about releasing the fear? Every aspect of our entire life would improve tenfold. First, we could hear our intuition or gut instincts so that it could guide us in the decisions we make every minute of the day. When that happens, we could find the perfect job. We could see our relationships with significant others, our children, our clients and ourselves turnaround. By releasing the fear, we could have what everyone wants: we could be HAPPY.

Here are Some Signs We’re Releasing Fear…

When we find ourselves…

  • Not taking SIDES
  • Having no EMOTIONAL attachment to a situation
  • Not THINKING about problems all day long
  • Not wanting to TALK to everyone about our problems
  • Making more DECISIONS
  • Not CARING what others think
  • Having plenty of ENERGY
  • Noticing everything FALLING into place
  • Watching STRESS, ANGER, and RESENTMENT disappear
  • Getting EXCITED or enthusiastic about our decisions
  • In APPRECIATION of the moment or GRATITUDE for what we have
  • Feeling PEACEFUL and relaxed
  • BEING ourselves
  • Having FUN
  • SMILING or laughing
  • Feeling a SHIFT in our minds
  • Feeling CAPABLE of  handling whatever happens
  • Constantly pay attention to our INTUITION

Releasing our fear enables our intuition – that voice or knowing or feeling – to come though. This helps crystallize our dreams and speeds up our pathway toward reaching them.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

Signs We Might Be in Fear!

What’s so bad about being afraid? Lots! Worry, doubt, and fear causes us to act in ways that get us in terrible situations. Fear causes illness, financial problems and conflict with others.  Fear lowers our self-esteem, and most of all, causes us to remain unhappy.

Here are Signs we Might be in Fear…

When we…

  • Are STRESSED, UPSET, ANGRY or RESENTFUL.
  • Want to CONTROL the situation.
  • Want to PROVE something.
  • Find ourselves confronting a lot of OBSTACLES.
  • OBSESS. Replaying a situation over and over and thinking about how it could have been avoided, what will happen because of it, what needs to change to fix it and who’s to blame.
  • Become JUDGMENTAL.
  • Find ourselves BLAMING someone or something for the situation.
  • Are mainly concerned about the OUTCOME and not enjoying the process.
  • Feel GUILTY, afraid we will be punished for what we did or didn’t do.
  • Become DEFENSIVE.
  • Want others to TAKE OUR SIDE.
  • Think things are URGENT or a matter of life or death.
  • Feel BEING RIGHT is an extremely high priority.
  • FORCE ourselves to do something we don’t want to do.
  • Feel INADEQUATE to handle the situation.
  • Are afraid to TALK or even THINK about the situation.
  • Think our INTUITION is non-existent.

Once we realize we’re in fear we can take steps to get out of it. Until the fear begins to disappear, it is extremely hard to find relief from the unpleasant situations fear causes. Once fear dissipates, our natural intuition, inner guidance or gut instincts can surface. Intuition enables us to be aware of the answers to all of our problems.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

9 Ways to Get Rid of Fear

With everything changing so quickly, it’s easy to become paralyzed with fear. Everyone is taking taking political sides, technology is growing by leaps and bounds, divorces are almost normal now, you’ve probably changed your career at least once, and when you go to your favorite coffee shop for a little escapism in the form of a latte, you find the menu has changed.

To Get Rid of Fear and Worry Try One or a Combination of These Suggestions…

1  Make a Plan-

Sometimes the best way to get rid of fear is to have a Plan B waiting.

2 Decide to Fully Participate-

Often we get afraid when we’re not giving 100 percent.

3 Use Affirmations-

Rather than letting our mind run rampant with negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones. Every thought–negative or positive–impacts our sense of well being. By replacing our negative thoughts with positive affirmations our fear begins to disappear.

4 Focus on What’s Going Right-

Whatever we focus our attention on expands. If we’re focusing on the woes that could befall us, then our fear increases. How about focusing on what’s going right and seeing that grow?

5 Stay in the Moment-

When we’re afraid we are either worrying about what will happen in the future or trying to rectify the past. To get in the moment, be concerned only with what’s happening right NOW.

6 Start Taking Action-

When we feel paralyzed, confused and overwhelmed by a situation, one way to get out of the fear is to break it down into small, manageable tasks. Just get moving!

7 Stop Taking Action-

When we run into lots of road blocks, it’s a good sign we’re in fear. Our need to make something happen may be interfering with a resolution. If you’re coming across lots of obstacles, the best way to get out of fear is to stop and do absolutely nothing. Wait until the fear passes and you listen to your intuition to take action.

8 Slow Down-

The more fear we’re in, the more urgent things seem. We start breathing faster, talking faster and moving faster which escalates the perceived seriousness of the situation. To get out of fear, slow down, take a deep breath and relax. Put yourself in slow motion.

9  Move Into the Fear-

This is the last suggestion, because it’s usually the hardest. When we have a situation that never seems to be resolved, it’s because we are trying to avoid what we’re afraid of. This only prolongs and intensifies the fear. Instead, move into the fear. Allow or accept the worst that might happen.  Think of the most fearful thing that could happen and give it permission to do so. Once we do that, the fear releases immediately.

We think the problem is this or that, but our real problem is the fear. Once you get rid of the fear, you can hear your intuition. And our intuition can get us out of any jam, anywhere, anytime with anyone.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

38 Ways Fear Can Harm Us

Most people do not realize or consider the emotional and practical impact fear has on our daily lives and businesses. Yet fear impacts everything from our personal relationships to our self-esteem to our health and that of our company’s bottom line.

Think fear is your own private, locked-away misery? Let’s consider all the ways that fear is cutting you off from your intuition, sacrificing your happiness and causing conflict in your life right now?

FEAR CAN CAUSE US TO…

  1. Not pursue our DREAMS or not know what our DREAMS are
  2. Feel LOUSY
  3. Not SLEEP well
  4. Have CONFLICT with others
  5. Stay overly BUSY
  6. Be easily DECEIVED by others
  7. Stop making DECISIONS
  8. Make SACRIFICES to please someone
  9. Become PARALYZED
  10.   Turn into PERFECTIONISTS
  11.   DEFLECT gifts or compliments from others
  12.   Become upset over CHANGE
  13.   Spend a lot of time putting out FIRES
  14.   DEPRIVE ourselves of the thing we want
  15.   JUDGE others
  16.   APOLOGIZE for our actions when no apology is needed
  17.   Be UNPLEASANT to be around
  18.   Get DISTRACTED easily
  19.   Become ILL
  20.   COMPLAIN
  21.   Use food, smoking, exercise, work or anything else to RELIEVE stress
  22.   PROCRASTINATE
  23.   Do things only out of OBLIGATION
  24.   DEFEND our decisions
  25.   Feel INTIMATED when we’re around others
  26.   Feel our REPUTATION is overly important
  27.   Avoid being around NEGATIVE people
  28.   Feel EXHAUSTED
  29.   AVOID discussing misunderstandings
  30.   Not APPRECIATE what we have
  31.   Become GREEDY or selfish
  32.   Find it difficult to get rid of our THINGS
  33.   Shrink from PROMOTING ourselves, our ideas or our products
  34.   Feel HOPELESS
  35.   Talk about our PROBLEMS all the time to anyone who will listen
  36.   Try to IMPRESS others
  37.   Have a hard time saying “NO”
  38.   Block our INTUITION

Without fear we could hear our intuition every minute of the day. Without fear we could have the perfect job. Without fear we could have pleasant relationships with everyone we meet. Without fear we could get crystal clear on what our dreams really are. Without fear we would have great self-esteem. Without fear we could be HAPPY.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

Are Most of Our Earning Problems Worse Because We’re Reluctant to Change?

Is your financial situation getting worse by the day? Are you having a hard time finding a job because you aren’t willing to change careers or move to a different city? Is your business suffering because you don’t want to change the way you market or what products you’re selling?

I came to a crossroads several months ago.

Clients were starting to drop off faster than I added them, something I was not use too. The old standbys of networking and asking for referrals were not as effective as before. Other life coaches and business coaches began to buzz about getting clients off the internet.

I had to ask myself, were most of my earning problems worse by my reluctance to change? Could I avoid earning problems altogether, if I started to embrace change?

Here Are Some Signs Your Reluctance to Change Could Be Causing Your Earning Problems-

When you…

  1. Are adamant on doing things the way you’ve always done them.
  2. Operate mostly on auto-pilot.
  3. Refuse to listen to others or try new things.
  4. Get upset when something does change.
  5. Recreate the same old earning problems year after year.
  6. Sit on the sidelines and watch others move ahead.
  7. Don’t know if you have intuition.

 

Ways to Embrace Change-

  1. Hire a life coach or business coach.
  2. Learn new things daily.
  3. Keep trying new things. Don’t stop.
  4. Know that change is guaranteed and it’s a good thing. It’s a way to keep growing.
  5. Realize fear of change is making the problem worse, if not causing it. Then place getting out of fear your highest priority.
  6. Increase your faith. Nothing changes unless something better is coming.
  7. Use our intuition daily.
  8. Treat change as an adventure. If we make change a habit, we will have an exciting, fun life.

 

Instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching others succeed, I made the decision to embrace change. I learned everything I could on internet marketing and hired people to help. Now I’m getting almost all of my new life coaching and business coaching clients from internet searches.

Is your intuition telling you that you need to embrace change?  Sometimes an earning problem is no more than a reluctance to change.

Maybe you have overcome a fear to change and reaped the rewards. Or put your faith in a feeling that was telling you to change and had things turn around.  Or maybe you’re still confused about whether a failure to change is causing earning problems.
You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

Do You Know What Your Dreams Are?

I have been working with my latest client, a newly single Mom. We have only had a couple of coaching sessions, but I already recognize symptoms of several of the most common money problems:

  • Overspending money on her son to relieve her guilt over her deadbeat ex
  • Knows what budgeting is all about but never took it seriously
  • Has a hard time controlling her impulse spending
  • Nickel and dimes her money away on quick fixes instead of saving up for what she really wants and needs
  • Accepts financial help from her Mom, but feels lousy about it
  • Is way too generous with her friends, and ends up resenting them for it

No matter what angle we approached her situation from, all the symptoms came down to this one cause: she doesn’t know what her own dreams are. Well, actually she did have one, but she honestly didn’t think she deserved to have it!

Are you like this lady?Do you feel stuck in the mud, with no direction to go and no way to get there if you did?

Here are some things you can do to get yourself kick started to achieving your dreams…

  1. Write a list of 50 things you would like to do, be, or have – no matter how crazy they may sound. This helps motivate you to break old habits, and to be happier.
  2. Make and follow a budget. Budgets are not a form of medieval torture, but are a planning tool for getting your dreams.
  3. Whenever you feel the urge to impulse buy, slow down! Give yourself a chance to think about it so you can have a choice: do you want a quick fix or dream come true?
  4. Be an example for your children, family, friends, whoever you hold dear. Show them how to make dreams come true!

Once you know what your dreams are, you will know how much you can buy and how much you need to save. So, dream away and just go for it!

 

Other info on dreams by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

QUIZ-How Ready Are You to Get Your Dreams?

12 Ways to Kill Your Dreams

Five Mindsets That Sabotage Your Dreams

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

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Vickie Champion

Twin Flame Coach & Life Coach
and Adviser
My consistent approach is listening to my intuition, inner guide, or gut feelings to guide me toward helping my clients where they need it the most. Results can be quick and often surprise my clients. My coaching is about achieving results and breaking old patterns. Contact me today to get started:
602-663-2006

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