Are you an INFJ personality types (according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test) who is having a difficult time with romantic relationships?  Do your relationships become ho-hum after a few years, or even a few months?  Maybe you have given up because you want an amazing relationship or nothing at all. These are all common occurrences for INFJs.

Why are Romantic Relationships so Hard for INFJs?

INFJs…

1   SET THE BAR EXTREMELY HIGH–

INFJs are usually looking for “the one.” INFJs are one of the personality types who seek and often find their twin flame. They crave the deepest connection they can have with one person at all levels—physical, mental and especially spiritual.

That narrows the field. Most people want a normal romantic relationship, not something that is miraculous and awe-inspiring for eternity.

2   ARE CONTROLLING-

INFJs tend to spend a lot of their time thinking about what they want in a relationship. If they are mostly thinking in the 3rd dimension (what they want to happen—things they can see, hear, touch, taste and smell) then it is extremely hard for anyone to live up to their expectations and behave like the INFJ wants them to.

But, once the INFJ learns the only way to have an amazing relationship is to think at a higher level in the 4th dimension (related to our thoughts and feelings). By focusing on the feelings they want to experience, instead of how they want it to play out, then relationships substantially improve.

3   ARE HIGHLY INTUITIVE-

INFJs are wired to function from their intuition or inner guidance. When they stray away from that by judging, or trying to control their partner’s behaviors, it makes it hard on their relationships.

4   ARE ALWAYS ON A QUEST-

INFJs tend to be on a never-ending spiritual and personal growth quest. If their partner doesn’t have that same desire, it can put a strain on having a long lasting, deep connection with them.

5   TRY TO AVOID CONFLICT-

INFJs tend to do everything and anything to avoid relationship conflict, even resorting to people pleasing. Avoiding can alleviate the immediate conflict, but usually requires INFJs to go against their intuition or inner guidance, which causes them enormous inner conflict. In the long run, it doesn’t make the relationship easier at all.

6   DOUBT THEMSELVES-

INFJs tend to doubt themselves and their decisions. Maybe it’s because they are trying so hard to be perfect. When they fail to live up to their expectations, INFJs have a tendency to feel unworthy and try to sabotage the relationship.

7   HAVE AN ALL OR NOTHING ATTITUDE-

It’s a common occurrence for an INFJ to spend months or years without a romantic relationship. They usually want to find or be with their twin flame or no one at all. Why bother if it’s going to be mediocre and NOT the deepest connection humanly possible?

Summing it Up

When we look at these 7 reasons why INFJs have a difficult time with romantic relationships, at the core of each one is usually not using their intuition or inner guidance to its fullest capacity.

Are You an INFJ who is Ready to Use Your Intuition or Inner Guidance More?

If you identify with the INFJ personality type, this self-study eBook can help you use your intuition or inner guidance more often—without having to change who you are. For more details.

Also, check out the Quiz, How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition or Gut Feelings?

If you need more help using your intuition or inner guide, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

 

 

Finding out which of the 16 personality types (according to MBTI) you lean towards gives you a direction to unlocking who you are and your preferences, like having a basic compass. It just gives you a direction, leaving out the thousands and thousands of individual variations.

Of course, taking the Myers-Briggs test is the best way to find out for sure what your personality type is. But if you want to try to figure it out on your own, this might help you.

I divided these into two sections, the main signs and the not-so-obvious signs. If you don’t identify with the main ones, you probably lean towards another personality type.

Main Signs That You Might Have an INFP Personality Type…

INFPs Tend to…

1   Be nonconformists. They have a strong desire to be independent from others and have no desire to be normal.

2   Believe everything is connected and search for the deeper meaning behind everything.

3   Like change and will try anything once.

4   Take time to explore and examine their choices carefully before making a decision.

5   Desire emotional intimacy. They want to develop deep, authentic one-on-one relationships.

6   Have overactive imaginations, with lots of creative ideas.

7   Have a strong inner world, knowing their own core beliefs and values—and try to always operate from them.

Not-so-Obvious Signs You Might Have an INFP Personality Type

INFPs Tend to…

1   Lean towards experiences that awaken or intensify feelings of passion, inspiration, or connection.

2   Have a hard time enjoying the moment. They are mostly future oriented.

3   Be interested in what’s hiding behind the five senses or the 3rd dimension.

4   Spend lots of time on self-reflection.

5   Look and find their twin flame. 

6   Thrive on freedom and flexibility.

7   Be advocates for those they feel are oppressed or misunderstood.

8   Have a hard time with criticism from others.

9   Struggle with extreme emotions, mainly because they feel other’s energies and emotions intuitively.

10   Pick up their intuition and creative ideas from the outside world.

11   Enjoy physical activities, especially in nature.

12   Have unrealistic expectations of themselves.

13   Be more attracted to the mental and spiritual than the material and concrete.

14   Be on an ongoing adventure of self-discovery and personal growth.

15   Have excellent listening skills.

16   Communicate often through their creativity.

17   Judge themselves terribly. They don’t judge others much, but they really judge themselves.

18   Be perfectionists, causing them to not give themselves enough credit.

19   Travel extensively.

20   Have a difficult time organizing tasks, streamlining systems, and being efficient.

If you identify with all of the main signs and most of the not-so-obvious signs, you are probably an INFP personality type. It’s estimated that less than 5% of the population are INFPs. No wonder so many feel that no one understands them.

Are You an INFP Who is Ready to Get Help with Using Your Intuition or Inner Guidance More Often?

If you identify with the INFP personality type, this self-study eBook can help you increase the use of your intuition or inner guidance—without having to change who you are. For more details.

Also, check out the Quiz, How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition or Gut Feelings?

If you need more help using your intuition or inner guide, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 

INFP personality types are very sensitive to the energy of others and their environment. This makes certain situations depleting and sometimes extremely difficult for an INFP.

Here’s a List of Some of the Things That Cause INFPs to Feel Exhausted or Drained…

• Judging or doubting themselves.
• Inability to be creative or use their imagination.
• Someone wanting their constant attention.
• Making small talk, such as discussing the weather, what they had for lunch, or what they are going to do that day.
• Keeping everything the same and setting up routines.
• Social events, especially when they involve being in large groups or around negative people.
• Being criticized.
• Not having a sanctuary or a safe space of their own.
• Being stretched too thin or having back-to-back obligations.
• Being pushed to make decisions before they have time to explore the options.
• Relationship conflict or misunderstandings.
• Not feeling connected to others.
• Negativity. Being around negative people for any length of time or watching the news can be very draining.
• Trying to stop or dismiss how they feel. For an INFP, ignoring their feelings and emotions is cutting off their energy source.
• Not having big blocks of time on their own with no interruptions.
• Dishonesty. This can mean others not telling the truth, or denying their own truth to themselves.
• Not being able to move their body.
• Soaking up others’ emotional storms. It’s easy for INFPs to feel others’ trauma or crisis and take it on.
• Trying to do things without passion or inspiration. In other words, trying to settle for mediocre. INFPs love to really feel their emotions.
• Denying their intuition or inner guide. Exploring, using their imagination, recognizing signs from the universe, and sensing the energy are some of the things that energize INFPs.

Are You an INFP who is Ready to Fine-tune Your Intuition or Inner Guidance?

If you identify with the INFP personality type, this self-study eBook can help you use your intuition or inner guidance more often—without having to change who you are. For more details.

Also, check out the Quiz, How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition or Gut Feelings?

If you need more help using your intuition or inner guide, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.