Are you an INFJ personality types (according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test) who is having a difficult time with romantic relationships? Do your relationships become ho-hum after a few years, or even a few months? Maybe you have given up because you want an amazing relationship or nothing at all. These are all common occurrences for INFJs.
Why are Romantic Relationships so Hard for INFJs?
1 SET THE BAR EXTREMELY HIGH–
INFJs are usually looking for “the one.” INFJs are one of the personality types who seek and often find their twin flame. They crave the deepest connection they can have with one person at all levels—physical, mental and especially spiritual.
That narrows the field. Most people want a normal romantic relationship, not something that is miraculous and awe-inspiring for eternity.
2 ARE CONTROLLING-
INFJs tend to spend a lot of their time thinking about what they want in a relationship. If they are mostly thinking in the 3rd dimension (what they want to happen—things they can see, hear, touch, taste and smell) then it is extremely hard for anyone to live up to their expectations and behave like the INFJ wants them to.
But, once the INFJ learns the only way to have an amazing relationship is to think at a higher level in the 4th dimension (related to our thoughts and feelings). By focusing on the feelings they want to experience, instead of how they want it to play out, then relationships substantially improve.
3 ARE HIGHLY INTUITIVE-
INFJs are wired to function from their intuition or inner guidance. When they stray away from that by judging, or trying to control their partner’s behaviors, it makes it hard on their relationships.
4 ARE ALWAYS ON A QUEST-
INFJs tend to be on a never-ending spiritual and personal growth quest. If their partner doesn’t have that same desire, it can put a strain on having a long lasting, deep connection with them.
5 TRY TO AVOID CONFLICT-
INFJs tend to do everything and anything to avoid relationship conflict, even resorting to people pleasing. Avoiding can alleviate the immediate conflict, but usually requires INFJs to go against their intuition or inner guidance, which causes them enormous inner conflict. In the long run, it doesn’t make the relationship easier at all.
6 DOUBT THEMSELVES-
INFJs tend to doubt themselves and their decisions. Maybe it’s because they are trying so hard to be perfect. When they fail to live up to their expectations, INFJs have a tendency to feel unworthy and try to sabotage the relationship.
7 HAVE AN ALL OR NOTHING ATTITUDE-
It’s a common occurrence for an INFJ to spend months or years without a romantic relationship. They usually want to find or be with their twin flame or no one at all. Why bother if it’s going to be mediocre and NOT the deepest connection humanly possible?
Summing it Up
When we look at these 7 reasons why INFJs have a difficult time with romantic relationships, at the core of each one is usually not using their intuition or inner guidance to its fullest capacity.
If you identify with the INFJ personality type, this self-study eBook can help you use your intuition or inner guidance more often—without having to change who you are. For more details.
Also, check out the Quiz, How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition or Gut Feelings?
If you need more help using your intuition or inner guide, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.