Not feeling worthy can be a huge obstacle for INFJs. Because INFJs need to be in control, set the bar high trying to be perfect, and are driven to always improve themselves, they can be really hard on themselves.
Until INFJs feel they are worthy of amazing lives or relationships, they will to some extent, sabotage their relationships and other parts of their lives.
Some Signs We Don’t Feel Worthy…
When we…
- Feel we are inferior or not good enough.
- Are critical of how we behave, what we say, or our appearance.
- Think we need to do something to be loved or accepted by others.
- Have a fear of being totally honest.
- Worry about what we did or did not do.
- Strongly feel if we improve or change some things about ourselves we would be worthier.
- Have plenty of regrets about anything that happened in our past.
- Apologize and feel guilty often.
- Think we are flawed or defective in some way.
- Focus on trying to please others.
- Take others’ opinions personally.
- Focus on what we are doing wrong and our faults.
- Have no desire to forgive ourselves for certain things.
- Dismiss our inner guidance or intuition.
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Defective Goods
INFJ tend to focus their attention on improving themselves to feel worthy. Maybe they think they need to lose a few pounds, or break a habit they have.
INFJs often think they need to achieve something to prove they are worthy. The key word is prove. INFJs are notorious for being overachievers and can get sucked up into trying to earn their worth, which really comes from judging themselves.
Judging themselves can keep them distracted on trying to earn and prove their worth. This will never work! It’s based on the faulty premise that they are defective and unworthy until they achieve something that proves they are acceptable and worthy.
Past Mistakes
Another thing that stirs feelings of unworthiness is past mistakes. When INFJs dwell in the past, there is a tendency to drop into judging it and placing blame where they see fit. Because INFJs are always trying to improve themselves, most of that judgment and blaming is turned inward, to themselves. This can make any INFJ feel undeserving of the amazing life.
If we have something in the past that we think we did wrong, there is a tendency to punish ourselves by sabotaging our lives and relationships.
Judging ourselves or thinking we have made mistakes in the past will never get us anywhere! It’s the thing that puts our lives on hold.
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