Is it getting more difficult to put up with some relationships? Are you struggling to find anything in common? Maybe it’s a relative, an old friend, a coworker, or someone you just met. Many of us are going through the same thing with some of our relationships.
It Begins With
What is happening is that there is a growing divide in individual core beliefs or mindsets. Before, there was more common ground and the divide wasn’t as defined, but now it is making some relationships tough to maintain.
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One Way Core Beliefs are Becoming More Defined is…
1 DEALING WITH CHANGE
Some are resisting change more than ever before. What makes it more difficult is when they are dead set on keeping things the same. The only change they seem to be open to is going back to the way it was.
Others accept change, that we really can’t go back to the way it was nor do they want it to, and they want to look forward to the future.
Another Core Belief that is Becoming More Defined is…
2 TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
Some are not willing to take any responsibility for their lives or even the slightest things—deflecting the blame onto something or someone else. They tend to trash others, call them names, and even threaten them.
Others are having a difficult time with NOT taking responsibility for their lives. They know whenever they do fall into deflecting blame it makes them feel like crap.
Another Core Belief that is Becoming More Defined is…
3 BEING CARED FOR
Some rely on others to care for them both mentally and physically. Mentally this could be expecting someone to make excuses for them, not to tell them the hard truth, and support them no matter what they do, say, or think. Examples of expecting someone to care for them physically could be sexually, financially, doing the domestic duties, and managing the household (making appointments, teacher’s meetings, scheduling repairs, paying bills, etc.).
Others meet their own needs. They care for themselves. Mentally they do their own inner work by releasing their demons, learning how to create pleasant experiences, and achieving their dreams. Physically they learn how to set priorities and manage all their day-to-day needs.
Another Core Belief that is Becoming More Defined is…
4 BUILDING SELF-WORTH
Some fall into comparing themselves with others to build their self-worth. As long as they feel superior in some way to others, they feel significant. It could be by comparing gender, sexual preferences, skin color, disabilities, education levels, titles, or wealth.
Others tend to build their self-worth by thinking loving thoughts, being kind, and being grateful.
Another Core Belief that is Becoming More Defined is…
5 THEIR VIEW OF RELATIONSHIPS
Some tend to treat relationships as a means to get something from them. They “give to get.” For them, relationships are more self-serving. They are willing to pay the price now to get the rewards in the future.
Others tend to treat relationships as a means to have an experience. They need nothing in return as they let the relationship unfold day-to-day.
Another Core Belief that is Becoming More Defined is…
6 HOW STRESS IS HANDLED
Some are making the excessive use of “stress relievers” to numb their feelings or to desensitize them. Some examples we can use might be overusing or overdoing pills, alcohol, impulse buying, eating, drugs, working, binge-watching, gambling, exercising, playing games, staying crazy busy, and social media.
These activities are not wrong to do!
But some are using them excessively to desensitize themselves more than ever before.
Others deal with stress by doing inner work to release their stress instead of trying to push it underground and desensitize it.
They know the stress is still there when they numb it and that it just delays them from releasing it.
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When the Relationship Needs to Evolve
There is only so much tolerating we can do before it becomes intolerable. In many relationships, the divide has grown to the point it’s NOT maintainable in the present form.
Signs the Divide is Growing
When you…
- Dread physically being in contact with or around that person.
- Feel worse about yourself after a conversation or being around them.
- Feel exhausted after a conversation or being around that person.
- Find yourself judging or criticizing them more than before.
Now What?
It means it’s time to let go of our NEED for the relationship to stay in its present form. It’s simple! All we have to do is hand over our relationship to the Higher Source and ask for it to feel better.
Sometimes parts of the relationship will change while other parts will stay the same. Sometimes you will feel better when you are in contact with them and don’t know why. Sometimes all of it will change. Sometimes you will let go of being in physical contact with them entirely. Trust that whatever happens, it’s the best for both of you in the long run.
To be at peace with the relationship, whenever you think of that person, come from love and wish them well going forward.
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I have two QUIZZES that may help you with your difficult relationships…
How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition?
Also, check out the Inner Work and Intuition sections on my website.
If you need an advisor to help you with your quest, contact Vickie Champion for a coaching and consulting session at a discounted price.