Vickie’s Blog Posts

19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing

Yep, you’ve identified yourself as a people pleaser. Now what? Make the decision to stop the need to please. Not just for yourself – as that’s hard to do for a people pleaser  –  but for everyone else you love. The reasons for ending the cycle of people pleasing, exhaustion and self-defeat can show you the path to a better, more fulfilling life.

Here are Reasons We Would Want to End Our Need to Please…

When we

1   Never really feel good about ourselves no matter how much we do for others.

2   Are overeating or getting physically sick from all the stress and worry people pleasing causes.

3   Blame others for our lack of time because they keep asking us to do more stuff.

4   Can’t accept help or constantly deflect gifts.

5   Neglect our self-care or our loved ones to please outsiders.

6   Can’t think of anything good to say about ourselves other than we always nice to others and we are not selfish.

7   Lie because we are afraid someone will get upset.

8   Find ourselves apologizing several times a day.

9   Try to provide and control everything in the relationship by pleasing.

10  Waste time with people who are condescending and never ask about how we are doing, much less listen to the answer.

11  Feel like we are in prison with a life sentence.

12  Are Scared about something all the time. Often, it’s about the reactions to what we said or did or what might happen in the future.

13  Silently judge and resent other’s beliefs and behaviors behind their backs.

14  Are scared to death of making mistakes or of not being liked.

15  Have loved ones express concern for us and our need to please. They may recommend getting therapy or a life coach several times.

16  Are highly critical of our past decisions or lack of.

17  Get upset when people don’t appreciate us.

18  Notice our need to please is getting worse.

19  Want a better way to live life.

People pleasers spend a lot of time looking for approval. They never really find it. Are you tired of trying? It might be time to change the way you approach life. You will be happier as will the people you really care about.


Check out the entire People Pleasing section.

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