Stressful events are happening everywhere you go in every direction and several at once. Some small and seemingly not related to us at all. Some are huge and directly related. Some are very personal. It can be exhausting. You will notice some of the ways we cope with the events are by making physical changes and some are mental changes.
The purpose of stressful events is to pressure us to change.
___
Here are Some Ways We Deal with Stressful Events
One Way is…
1 We Can Think it’s “Normal”
This is an extremely popular way to deal with stress. Most of us have spent a good portion of our lives thinking stressful events happen all the time and is something we just need to live with. The problem is that when we normalize them, we tend to believe they happen just to frustrate us and they have no value, especially if they are not directly related to us. But of course, the events have tremendous value, if we want to pay attention to them.
There are no accidents.
__
Another Way We Could Deal with Stressful Events is…
2 We Try to Ignore the Circumstance
Another popular way to deal with stressful incidents is to try to dismiss it. Only this way requires us to numb or desensitize how we feel—so it is not uncomfortable or disturbing us any longer.
Some Things We Could Do to Numb Ourselves or Desensitize How We Feel
Take Pills Drink Alcohol Take Drugs Overeat Shop Stay Crazy Busy Binge-watch Work Play Games Consume Caffeine Smoke Cigarettes Text Over-exercise People-please Overdo Social Media Activities
These activities are not wrong to do! But you know if you are using them as stress relievers.
The Problem
Numbing or desensitizing doesn’t make the purpose of the stress disappear or change. It’s still there. Instead, it delays us from making the needed adjustments.
___
Another Way We Could Deal with Stressful Events is…
3 We Try to Run from Them
Remember the reason for the stressful event is to get us to change. So, when we run there is a tendency for us to think all that is needed to stop the stress is a physical change (something we do with our physical bodies), instead of making a mental change first.
Examples…
Move outside of the US Changing jobs
Switching one numbing device to another, like smoking to overeating
The Problem
If we make a physical change without making a mental change first, it is likely that the same stressful pattern will appear again and again only with different people and different circumstances.
When we make a physical change in our lives it will be more rewarding if we move towards what we want, not away from what we don’t want.
___
Another Way We Could Deal with Stressful Events is…
4 To Lash Out
This is when we physically do something to vent by using one or more of our 5 senses—what someone can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell.
Some Examples of Lashing Out
Crying Yelling Saying curse words Breaking something Hitting something Injuring someone Criticizing someone Whining Driving recklessly
___
Another Way We Could Deal with Stressful Events is…
5 We Could Get Sick
Getting sick is making a physical change (something we do with our physical bodies), to ourselves. There are two main reasons why we get sick.
One reason we could get sick is…
TO AVOID SOMETHING ELSE
This is part of running from the stress that we previously covered. Sickness is a good excuse to avoid things we don’t want to do.
Examples…
Getting sick to avoid…
Going to work Finalizing a divorce A bully
The other reason we could get sick is…
BECAUSE WE ARE ANGRY
Sickness is almost always some form of anger internalized. Instead of yelling or hitting someone, we let it fester inside our bodies.
We want someone to be punished for what we think went wrong.
When this occurs, we either get sick to punish ourselves, someone else, or a group of people. We want someone to feel guilty for what happened.
___
Another Way We Could Deal with Stressful Events is…
6 To Do Inner Work
What is Inner Work?
The majority of us orchestrate most of our lives around what we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell with our physical bodies, paying very little attention to our thoughts and feelings.
Inner work is a practice of focusing on controlling our thoughts, perceptions, attitudes, and emotions so we can tap into insights from a higher source.
___
Most of us probably use a little of each of these six ways to deal with stressful events. There is nothing wrong with that. But of course, doing our inner work would be the most rewarding.
___
I have two QUIZZES that may help you change your mindset…
Is the Changing World Stressing You Out?
How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition?
Also, check out the Inner Work and Intuition sections on my website.
And, if you need an advisor to help you on your quest, contact Vickie Champion for a coaching and consulting session at a discounted price.