One of the common issues INFJ Myers-Briggs personality types can face is falling into the habit of people pleasing. This can be especially difficult for INFJs.
Here’s Some Reasons Why the Need to Please Can Be Tough on INFJs…
1 ARE INTROVERTED-
People pleasing almost always involves physically doing something for somebody to please them. Many times that consists of some kind of social interaction, whether it’s going to diner, running errands, attending a party, or going to a football game. INFJs can easily get overwhelmed by external stimuli.
2 LIKE A SLOWER-PACED LIFESTYLE-
The need to please usually makes demands on the pleaser’s time—causing them to move at a faster pace in order to do more things. Without slowing down for a spell to get their second wind, INFJs tend to crash.
3 TEND TO BE “ALL OR NOTHING”-
Whatever INFJs put their minds to do, they go overboard (with a great deal of thought) and do it the best they possibly can, or they don’t do it at all. There is usually no in-between. So, when INFJs people please, it can easily go beyond the simple habit of saying YES, to doing it perfectly. No wonder it’s soooo difficult for an INFJ to break.
4 ARE DEEP SEA DIVERS-
INFJs dive as deep as possible into a different world of the 4th dimension (nonphysical thoughts and feelings). They are idea people who are intense, focused, and highly perceptive.
When INFJs people please it often prevents them from diving deep. It keeps them on the surface, distracted by what is happening in their day-to-day life in the 3rd dimension (what they physically see, hear, touch, taste, and smell). Too much people pleasing can cause any INFJ to feel detached, like a fish out of water.
5 ARE HIGHLY SENSITIVE-
The habit of pleasing others is a substitute for using inner guidance or intuition. INFJs have the eerie knack of sensing if something doesn’t feel right. But, instead of following their inner guide or intuition on what to do about it, people pleasers react by being nice.
WOW, is that hard to do for an INFJ! Not only can they sense things coming from a mile away, they can easily tap into that higher source and get the answers to any situation. INFJs can “just know” things, and often experience “hunches,” “aha” moments, or sudden “flashes” of insight. Blocking that out makes an INFJ’s life extremely difficult with very little, if any, satisfying results.
6 HAVE PLENTY OF SELF-DOUBT-
Maybe from all those unmet high expectations. The need to please others appears when INFJs feel they are not good enough and others are more worthy of their efforts.
Are these six reasons enough for you to make a commitment to start becoming the person you were meant to be?
If that’s not enough, take time to notice that it makes you feel second-rate and kind of lousy every time you do it.
No one can please others at their expense and benefit anyone.
I have two products that help INFJs end their habit of needing to please others:
If you identify with the INFJ personality type, this simple eBook can help you optimize your already natural intuition or inner guidance—to the point your habit of people pleasing disappears. For more details.
This self-study course helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and the world around you. You will be able to finally feel worthy and be yourself. For more details.
If you need more help, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.