Because a popular topic in coaching sessions with women clients is “how to overcome guilt,” it got me thinking. Why are my women client’s plagued with this and it never comes up in the sessions with the men?

I did some research on guilt and was not surprised to see it referred to as the “women’s disease.” See if you recognize yourself or the women in your life in any of these symptoms.

Common Reasons Women Feel so Guilty…

Women tend to…

1 Put others first no matter what. We’ll do and buy things for everyone else and then feel guilty when we consider those things for ourselves. Men tend to think they are at least equal to others.

2 Worry about everything from being in debt, if the furniture just purchased is the right color, to whether something they said might have possibly hurt someone’s feelings. Men tend to put their focus on achieving their dreams.

3 Be perfectionists.  If we make mistakes, we feel guilty. Men tend to think mistakes are a way to find out what won’t work.

4 Believe saying “no” is not loving and downright wrong. Then we are programmed every time we do say “no” to feel guilty. Men tend to use their gut instincts. They know some of the time the right thing to do and most loving is to say “yes” and some of the time it is to say “no.”

5 Reflect and analyze more than men. In turn that causes us to judge ourselves and feel guilty.

6 Take control. We go to extremes with this—trying to hold everything
together like helping the kids with their homework, decorating our home, buying gifts for relatives, planning holidays, making sure there is something in the fridge, taking care of our aging parents, and paying all the bills, just to name a few. Then, as if that wasn’t enough control, we take responsibility for others’ feelings, do their chores, and try solving their problems the whole time boasting about our multi-tasking. Men tend to think their world won’t fall apart if they drop the ball.

Did any of those reasons women feel guilty find you nodding along? We really need to pay attention and learn from the guys. They are showing us by example how to live our lives the easier way, without guilt.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

Feeling poorly about yourself? Like you could and should do better? Maybe it’s guilt. Guilt acts as a negative detour in your life, prohibiting you from taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself and pursuing your dreams, among other things.

Here are Nine Reasons my Life and Business Coaching Clients Give for Feeling Guilty…

1  Filing bankruptcy.

2  Not doing it all, being the super mom or dad.

3  Getting divorced.

4  Ending a relationship.

5  Gaining weight.

6  Not caring for your elderly parents properly.

7  Cheating on your spouse.

8  Losing a loved one.

9  Not working.

I am exploring guilt in this series because so many of my clients suffer from it. Some do not even know that it is guilt that is sabotaging them.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

Women collect, feed and refuse to let them go. Men? Not so much. I’m talking about reasons to feel guilty. Women are often serial guilt-hoarders. Storing so much guilt inside their bodies and lives and then when encouraged to release some of it, they decline. In all my years as a business and life coach, the number of women struggling daily with guilt issues far out number the men.

Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over are…

1  Eating forbidden foods, you know, the ones full of sugar.

2  Balancing life as a working mom.

3  Doing nothing.  We think we need to fix everything for everybody.

4  Eating chocolate.

5  Relaxing.

6  Not having a knock-em dead body.

7  Spending too much money.

8  Not doing more to take care of our parents.

9  Spending money on self-growth, hobbies, or self-care like massages. An exception is if anything is used to achieve a knock-em dead body.

10  Receiving praise we feel is undeserved.
Women have cornered the market when it comes to feeling guilty.  Women take on a lot of responsibility and when they refuse to meet their own expectations they feel guilty.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

Notice how no matter what we do to relieve guilt it never fades away? It’s like a never ending cycle. I’ll explain why.

1 Remember, the only way we can feel guilty is to start with making up a rule we think we need to follow and then try to follow it.

Example… Loving mothers stay home when their kids are young.

2 We start feeling deprived.

Example… We need more money to pay the bills.

3 We then break the rule.

Example… We get a job.

4 We begin to feel guilty about breaking the rule.

Example… We think we are hurting our kids in some way.

5 We try to relieve the guilt.

Example… We buy our kids some extra toys to make up for it.

And here we go again…

1 We create another rule to follow to relieve the guilt.

Example… Good mothers who work give their kids anything they want.

2 We feel deprived again.

Example… There is still not enough money to pay all the bills.

3 We then discard the original rule to follow the current rule.

Example… Then we work longer hours to get a promotion or take on an extra job.

 

And so on…

You can contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

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This self-study program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself to be able to finally feel worthy. For more details.

Also check out the Quiz, How Worthy Do You Feel?

 

Hey, you know that unsettled feeling in your stomach? The hang-your-head, slink-away, don’t-even-look-at-me feeling? It’s guilt. You know it when you feel it and you may even know what’s causing it. But do you know what guilt is?

Guilt is nothing more than making up a rule we think we need to follow and then breaking it.

Examples are:

• The rule might be “In order to lose weight, I have to stay on this diet.” Then you break the rule buying eating a piece of chocolate. This causes enormous guilt.

 

• The rule could be “Good parents spend time with their kids.” Then you get busy at work and neglect them which causes guilt.

 

• The rule might be “Good sales people offer customers products what would be good for them.” Because your company has discontinued paying commissions on what would be best for your client, you sell them something else. You feel guilty.

Watch for my upcoming blogs that deal with how to get rid of guilt. You don’t have to absorb guilt and bear its weight like an over-packed shoulder bag. Learn my tools, tips and tricks for easing and eliminating the guilt.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session on overcoming your guilt.