You don’t have to be stuck with that churning feeling in your gut called guilt. Many times we don’t even consider whether guilt is something we can overcome. We just assume we must live with it like a bad haircut. But guilt can be transformed.

Warning! Before you read this blog, you might want to read the blog on “What is Guilt?” so this will make more sense.

Remember guilt is nothing more than making up a rule or belief we think we need to follow and then breaking it.

Here are Three Ways to Release Guilt:

1 We can make up a NEW rule to follow.

An example is:
The original rule was “Good parents spend time with their kids.” If we change it to “Good parents love their children,” the guilt releases.

2 We can THROW OUT the old rule completely.

An example is:
The original rule was “In order to lose weight, I have to stay on this diet.” Simply toss out the old rule with a thought of, “Thanks for sharing, but I don’t believe that rule any longer.  I can lose weight in hundreds of ways.”

3 We can admit we did something that didn’t BUILD our self-esteem and then do something about it that WILL.

An example is:
The original rule might have been “Good sales people offer customers products that would be good for them.” Rather than selling your client a product to earn a commission, you decide instead to follow your original rule whether you get paid for it or not.

Guilt feels awful. But it doesn’t have to continue to eat us up inside. We can begin to see guilt as a signal that something about our beliefs or behaviors need to change.

Other info on feeling guilt by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

What is Guilt?

The Guilt Cycle

          10 Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over

          6 Reasons Women Feel Guilty

          9 Things That Can Cause Anyone Guilt

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

By Vickie Champion  

Because a popular topic in coaching sessions with women clients is “how to overcome guilt,” it got me thinking. Why are my women client’s plagued with this and it never comes up in the sessions with the men?

I did some research on guilt and was not surprised to see it referred to as the “women’s disease.” See if you recognize yourself or the women in your life in any of these symptoms.

Common Reasons Women Feel so Guilty…

Women tend to…

1 Put others first no matter what. We’ll do and buy things for everyone else and then feel guilty when we consider those things for ourselves. Men tend to think they are at least equal to others.

2 Worry about everything from being in debt, if the furniture just purchased is the right color, to whether something they said might have possibly hurt someone’s feelings. Men tend to put their focus on achieving their dreams.

3 Be perfectionists.  If we make mistakes, we feel guilty. Men tend to think mistakes are a way to find out what won’t work.

4 Believe saying “no” is not loving and downright wrong. Then we are programmed every time we do say “no” to feel guilty. Men tend to use their gut instincts. They know some of the time the right thing to do and most loving is to say “yes” and some of the time it is to say “no.”

5 Reflect and analyze more than men. In turn that causes us to judge ourselves and feel guilty.

6 Take control. We go to extremes with this—trying to hold everything
together like helping the kids with their homework, decorating our home, buying gifts for relatives, planning holidays, making sure there is something in the fridge, taking care of our aging parents, and paying all the bills, just to name a few. Then, as if that wasn’t enough control, we take responsibility for others’ feelings, do their chores, and try solving their problems the whole time boasting about our multi-tasking. Men tend to think their world won’t fall apart if they drop the ball.

Did any of those reasons women feel guilty find you nodding along? We really need to pay attention and learn from the guys. They are showing us by example how to live our lives the easier way, without guilt.

Check out the Releasing Guilt section.

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

Feeling poorly about yourself? Like you could and should do better? Maybe it’s guilt. Guilt acts as a negative detour in your life, prohibiting you from taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself and pursuing your dreams, among other things.

Here are Nine Reasons my Life and Business Coaching Clients Give for Feeling Guilty…

1  Filing bankruptcy.

2  Not doing it all, being the super mom or dad.

3  Getting divorced.

4  Ending a relationship.

5  Gaining weight.

6  Not caring for your elderly parents properly.

7  Cheating on your spouse.

8  Losing a loved one.

9  Not working.

I am exploring guilt in this series because so many of my clients suffer from it. Some do not even know that it is guilt that is sabotaging them.

 

Other info on guilt by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:

What is Guilt?

The Guilt Cycle

10 Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

By Vickie Champion 

Notice how no matter what we do to relieve guilt it never fades away? It’s like a never ending cycle. I’ll explain why.

1 Remember, the only way we can feel guilty is to start with making up a rule we think we need to follow and then try to follow it.

Example… Loving mothers stay home when their kids are young.

2 We start feeling deprived.

Example… We need more money to pay the bills.

3 We then break the rule.

Example… We get a job.

4 We begin to feel guilty about breaking the rule.

Example… We think we are hurting our kids in some way.

5 We try to relieve the guilt.

Example… We buy our kids some extra toys to make up for it.

And here we go again…

1 We create another rule to follow to relieve the guilt.

Example… Good mothers who work give their kids anything they want.

2 We feel deprived again.

Example… There is still not enough money to pay all the bills.

3 We then discard theoriginal rule to follow the current rule.

Example… Then we work longer hours to get a promotion or take on an extra job.

 

And so on…

To get off of the Guilt Cycle and end this painful pattern see my upcoming blog entitled How to Get Rid of Feeling Guilty.
Other info on guilt by Vickie Champion you might be interested in are:
What is Guilt?

 

You can also contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session to overcome your guilt.

By Vickie Champion