In the past, there were probably lots of advantages to believing “we were social beings.” Most of us felt there was safety in numbers. We felt it was more secure to work for corporations, live in the suburbs, attend church, live close to relatives, get married, and have kids.

Of course, the majority of us believed practically everything was more enjoyable with others. We felt it was more gratifying when we ate, slept, traveled, and even watched TV.  ​

Most experts still believe that social isolation threatens our mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s essential to our survival and happiness. But is it?

Things are Quickly Changing

It’s not clear whether groups provide advantages any longer or that we even have a fundamental need to be social with others.

It seems that the belief “we are social beings” is really being tested by many of us right now.

__

Questions to Ask Yourself

• Is it getting harder for me to want to be physically near others?
• If I go to social gatherings, do I leave sooner than I used to?
• Am I less vocal or find myself tippy-toeing around certain individuals?
• Is my fear of being alone starting to disappear?
• Has my desire to have someone always near me — like a live-in partner or having children — been declining?

__

About Believing “We are Social Beings”

1   CONNECTION

With the belief “we are social beings” we often assume it places importance on being in physical proximity to each other to feel connected.

However, with busy schedules, tightened budgets, shortened attention spans, extended travel times, extreme weather events, and the rise of video conferencing and screen sharing, maybe face-to-face interactions are not as valuable as they once were.

__

2  BELONGING

The belief “we are social beings” implies that we need others to feel a sense of well-being and acceptance. But it also implies the opposite. If we find ourselves alone, it’s assumed we are doomed to a life of loneliness and depression.

The funny thing is that when most of us are physically around others, we automatically start comparing and judging ourselves or them, and try to make ourselves fit in to be accepted. But when we get away from being social with others, we tend to let those judgments fade into the background, and are able to accept ourselves exactly the way we are more easily.

__

3  COMMUNITY

The belief “we are social beings” suggests that we need to socially engage with people with whom we share some common interest, such as being linked by a location, school, church, or even online. The problem is, the social connection often starts us comparing and judging others or ourselves. Just look at what has happened to organized religion.

__

4  DEPENDENCE ON OTHERS

The belief that “we are social beings” once meant that we needed others to survive— financial, domestic, or emotional support, as well as protection from harmful situations.

Most of us have discovered that we can survive independently. So, dependence on others may no longer be as crucial as it once was.

__

5   CONFORM

The belief “we are social beings” is usually linked to the drive for social acceptance. This often causes us to adjust who we are to fit in. Conforming is easier when breaking the rules leads to punishment or other unpleasant consequences—like losing a job or facing a breakup. Sometimes, the pull for social acceptance is so strong that we follow group norms even when they clash with our moral compass.

__

6   COLLABORATION

The belief “we are social beings” encourages activities with others, such as holiday gatherings, phone conversations, and coordinated projects at work.

In the last few years, we’ve seen less collaboration, with people opting out of family get-togethers, texting instead of discussions, and the desire to work from home.

__

Summary

It seems like for the time being, we are heading for a period of being less social—more independent, having the courage to follow our own moral compass, taking more responsibility for our own ideas, taking more initiative, being willing to explore who we are, and finding the feeling of connection without physical proximity.

__

I have two QUIZZES that may help you…

Is the Changing World Stressing You Out?

How Often Do You Listen to Your Intuition?

Also, check out the Inner Work and Intuition sections on my website.