There is all sorts of information out there about the runner/chaser pattern and what to do about it. Some come to think it is a necessary step for twin flame union, while others deny the pattern even exists. Some information could make you feel bad about yourself and your behaviors. Some could make you want to blame your twin flame for the separation.
Before you take anything you read or hear as gospel, use your intuition or inner guidance. Ask yourself how you feel when you read or hear it. Does it make you feel better or worse? Stick with what resonates with you and makes you feel better and forget the rest. Using your intuition or inner guidance could save you years of being stuck in the runner/chaser pattern.
Defining the Runner/Chaser Pattern
An easy way to define it is the following: the runner/chaser pattern is a period of time when one party runs away from the relationship and the other party chases after them.
What Causes the Runner/Chaser Pattern?
There are three main reasons for the runner/chaser pattern. Many times, it’s the combination of two or three of them that causes the separation.
1 REFUSE THE TWIN FLAME CONNECTION-
The runner/chaser pattern can occur when one or both parties tries to resist, avoid, deny, or essentially opt out of their twin flame connection. They try desperately to maintain or return back to the way their life used to be—normal, like others. They may NOT want to change their…
- Current partners.
- Habits or addictions.
- Spiritual or intuitive awareness.
- Thoughts, perceptions, and beliefs.
It seems soooo much easier to return or stay in their comfort zone and numb their feelings.
The runner/chaser pattern can also occur when the amazing feeling of pure unconditional love gets too hard to handle on a consistent basis. One or both parties could feel they are NOT worthy or deserving of so much pure unconditional love, and proceed to sabotage it. Unworthiness is usually caused by…
- Having plenty of regrets.
- Being critical of yourself.
- Feeling you have in the past or are currently doing something wrong.
- Thinking you are flawed or defective in some way.
- Lacking the willingness to forgive.
- Believing you would be worthier if you looked, spoke, or acted differently.
3 CONTROL THE LOVE-
The runner/chaser pattern can also occur when one or both parties try to make a twin flame relationship a “normal” relationship, which takes all the spark out of it. It’s easy to slide into trying to CONTROL the LOVE by putting limitations on behaviors, which consists of…
- Making compromises and sacrificing.
- Having obligations.
- Making and trying to fulfill promises.
- Trying to please your twin flame and expecting them to please you.
- And most of all, making either or both parties feel guilty and wrong when they don’t control their behavior.
Twin flame relationships are not meant to be used to limit and put restrictions on your or your twin flame’s behaviors. It’s meant to redefine love by teaching you to love yourself and your twin flame no matter what is said or not said, or done or not done.
About the Twin Flame Runner
Because the runner is usually not as advanced, spiritual, or used to utilizing their intuition or inner guidance, they encounter tremendous amounts of fear with the incredible pull of the connection. Many times, especially if they have not physically met their twin flame yet, they can feel soooo alone and in the dark, not knowing where these feelings are coming from. If the runner does know where it’s coming from, they still don’t know what to do about it. They resort to trying to get away from the connection.
Almost all runners have not done enough inner work to know anything about the incredible connection and how to handle it. In fact, many have not even heard the term “twin flame,” or if they have, don’t really believe it’s possible.
All along God (Higher Power, Divine, Universe, Source, Spirit, or whatever term you want to call it) keeps gently nudging them in their twin flame’s direction. Everything, especially the twin flame relationship, is working towards union.
About the Twin Flame Chaser
Almost always the chaser is the most advanced, spiritual, and has done a great deal of inner work. They tend to pay attention and follow their intuition or inner guidance on a regular basis. So, when they feel the incredible pull of the twin flame connection, it doesn’t cause that much fear at all. In fact, it has the opposite effect—it’s usually an amazing feeling and extremely inviting. Chasers usually move towards what feels good and what they are interested in, which starts the chase often before they even meet their twin flame in person. Their deep desire to be with their twin flame often becomes all consuming, and they will do anything to be with them.
Because physically reaching out to their twin flame doesn’t get many results, or they are hit and miss at best, the chaser can often become needy and almost beg. At that point, the chaser can be more fearful than the runner—scared to death they will never be with their twin flame and complete their mission.
To Sum it Up
Whether you are the runner or the chaser, the only way to finally stop the runner/chaser pattern is to do more inner work to get out of the fear, and hone your ability to utilize your intuition or inner guidance to the fullest.
Because you and your twin flame are connected, only one of you needs to spiritually hunker down to get results for both.
I have three products that can help you break the runner/chaser pattern:
This program shows you how to shorten the timeline and navigate the relationship for a happy outcome, even if you are in the runner/chaser pattern. Because most inner work is done with perceptions, thoughts, and feelings, it doesn’t matter if you have met your twin flame yet or not. For more details.
This program helps you change the mindset you have about yourself and the world around you. You will be able to finally feel deserving of an amazing mind-blowing relationship and be your true self. For more details.
If you identify with either the INFJ or the INFP personality type, there is an eBook that can help you fine-tune your already natural intuition or inner guidance—to attract and keep your twin flame relationship. For more details.