The reason people pleasers stay stuck in saying “yes” when they really want to say “no” is that they receive some benefit. Saying yes all the time, while potentially derailing a person’s dreams, does provide a pay off.
Here are Some of the Benefits of Saying YES When you Want to Say NO…
- Be liked for giving in.
- Avoid those disappointing looks.
- Prevent whining and begging pleas.
- Keep overeating and getting physically sick from all the overpromising.
- Continue building your reputation as an easy target.
- Have a good excuse for criticizing yourself.
- Impress by being better than others.
- Constantly focus on fixing everyone else’s lives while neglecting your own.
- Be able to stay in your comfort zone.
- Avoid looking at or working on your own needs, wants, and dreams.
- Worry and fret about something all the time.
If the advantages are not outweighing the disadvantages and you want the learn how to say no a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.
If you need more advice on ways to say no, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.
By Vickie Champion