This isn’t about the obvious REALLY toxic relationships. You know, the ones that are full of jealousy, abuse, overdependence, or manipulative and controlling behavior. I’ll leave that to the therapists.
Here are some not-so-obvious hints you have a bad relationship…
- Have a habit of blaming each other for one thing or another.
- Feel guilty and apologize at least once a month.
- Stay crazy busy most of the time.
- Repeatedly take things too seriously.
- Feel lonely and unconnected.
- Want your partner to appreciate you more.
- Find your friends and family avoid being around you and/or your partner.
- Have little disagreements here and there.
- Want to spend more and more time apart.
- Fear telling the truth about some things.
- Can list at least more cons than pros about your partner.
- Have excuses to stay with your partner, like for the sake of the kids or for financial reasons.
- No longer feel good about yourself.
- Have tried to make your partner “everything.”
- Don’t have much in common anymore.
- Change your looks, behaviors, and dreams just to please your partner.
- Go along with your partners decisions because it’s easier.
- Are defensive.
- Stay with them because they say they “I love you.”
- Don’t like the person you have become.
- Make problems with your partner a topic of conversation with your friends.
- Have loved ones suggesting you hire a life coach or get couples therapy.
- Find yourself compromising more than not.
- Feel trapped.
- Lack the willingness to forgive some things.
- Stop paying attention to how you feel.
- At timesdread seeing or talking to them.
- Make conscious sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
- Feel you would be happier if your partner spoke or acted differently.
- Do things just to please your partner.
- Find yourself resenting other couples’ relationships.
- Don’t feel like it’s a 50/50 partnership.
- Let your partner hurt your feelings.
- Have gained weight, or picked up an unhealthy habit to relieve stress.
If you can identify with some of these bad relationship signs it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Or that you necessarily have a heap of self improvement work ahead of you. Sometimes you can change your relationships simply by changing the way you think. Truly! And it can be done without making sacrifices or changing who you are.
If you need help on how to improve your relationship, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.