If you’ve read my previous blogs you can recognize the signs you’re in a bad relationship. And, hopefully, if you’re in a relationship now you can identify more than a handful of these hints that signal you’re in a good relationship. 
 
When you…

• Look forward to seeing or talking with your partner.

• Laugh and act playful together.

• Feel completely relaxed in their presence.

• Often make eye contact.

• Don’t depend on what your partner says or does to be happier.

• Both have learned to give and receive affection.

This isn’t about the obvious REALLY toxic relationships. You know, the ones that are full of jealousy, abuse, overdependence, or manipulative and controlling behavior. I’ll leave that to the therapists.

Here are some not-so-obvious hints you have a bad relationship…

When you…

• Have a habit of blaming each other for one thing or another.

• Feel guilty and apologize at least once a month.

• Stay crazy busy most of the time.

• Repeatedly take things too seriously.

• Feel lonely and unconnected.

• Want your partner to appreciate you more.

Maybe things in your relationship could be better. And maybe your partner will come around to doing the things he or she ought to be doing. But first, are you? Are you sabotaging your relationship in small, insidious ways?
 
When you…

• Put expressing “I love you” on auto-pilot, saying it at least once a day.

• Over-apologize or expect your partner to.

• Bring up past mistakes.

• Strongly believe that a good relationship requires you to make sacrifices and compromises.

• Are too available.

• Never have an opinion on anything.

One of my longtime life coaching clients that I admire is Kimber Lambeth.  Very seldom do I see people going through a tough time in their lives and make it the best thing that ever happened to them instead of the worst. Kimber was so determined, that she got out of the fear quickly, which changed the outcome.   
 
I recently asked Kimber to tell us how she overcame the fear with her relationship.  This is it.

Are you person A? The Avoider? You have a difficult relationship with a client, boss, co-worker, friend, spouse or any other relationship so you spend much of your day on autopilot. You are desperately trying to eliminate all thoughts and dealings with him or her. Out of sight, out of ear-shot, out of mind, you think.

Or are you person B? The Bad Mouther? You spend a lot of your time thinking about what that person said or did, and, in fact, bad mouthing them to anyone who will listen?

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