Yes, there are some good points having the need to please when running a home based business. And there are lots of small business owners who could learn from them, especially in the area of customer service.

Here’s Some of the Benefits of Being a People Pleasing Entrepreneur-

People Pleasers tend to…

• Give clients more than they ask for.

• Save money by not hiring helpers to assist them.

• Stay motivated. Unfortunately it’s mainly by the fear of not pleasing others. Nevertheless, they do stay motivated.

• Easily make clients feel like they are important.

Every entrepreneur has obstacles to overcome and the people pleasers or niceaholics that operate a home-based business are no exception.

Here’s Some of the Disadvantages of People Pleasing Solopreneurs-

People Pleasers have a tendency to…

• Think the solution to most of their problems is to buckle down and work harder.

• Let clients over extend their deadlines.

• Worry far too much about what the client will think.

• Take on challenges outside their area of expertise just to please their customers.

• Underestimate the time it takes to accomplish a task.

When I started writing the “need to please” blogs, I had no idea how popular that topic would be. In fact the #1 blog gets 1200-2000 visitors every month since it was first posted in April, 2011. Then the other 4 listed here are constantly in the top 10.

Here’s my Top 5 People Pleasing Blogs…  

#5   Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers

#4   6 Things Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize

#3   19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing

#2   Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser

#1   52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser

I found out several publications picked up the article, Are you a Niceaholic? My virtual assistant and consultant, Kathy Church, who is also featured in the article, found that among others the Los Angeles Times, The Baltimore Sun, and the Orlando Sentinel ran it so far. Thank God for syndication. You wouldn’t believe how my website Google Analytics has gone up.

Take a look, if you haven’t seen it yet…

(I’m on page 2 ) Los Angeles Times

Are you a Niceaholic?

I was contemplating running an errand before my next coaching call and for some reason my intuition nudged me to hang around the office instead. A few minutes later, I got a phone call from one of the largest newspaper syndicates in the USA. The reporter had seen all my blogs on people pleasing and wanted to interview me. I was thrilled!

Take a look…

PAGE #1

(I’m on page 2 ) PAGE #2

Check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

On the surface it seems like people pleasers get so much done. Always running here, running there, doing this and doing that. They work until the wee hours of the night, often seven days a week. How do they keep up that kind of pace? What keeps them so motivated?

In fact, people pleasers waste a lot of time. Here’s why…

They tend to place being busy as their top priority and being effective as their lowest priority. And this all comes from a deep-seated belief that they need to do something to be loved.

People pleasers make great employees…or do they? People pleasers, while often eager to help out, may not make the best employee if your business is in need of a great leader. Here’s why:

1  Great leaders are great decision makers.

People pleasers have a tendency to put off making decisions, fearing they will make a mistake.

2  Great leaders build strong teams.

People pleasers have difficulty delegating and have been known to overlook incompetent members of their team.

3  Great leaders communicate well.

People Pleasers usually avoid communicating when possible because they feel insecure when interacting with others.

In an effort to DO IT ALL and take care of EVERYONE, people pleasers are in a chronic state of not having enough time. Not only that, but they tend to waste the time they have.

Here’s how People Pleasers Can Waste Time…

They tend to…

• Underestimate the time it takes to accomplish a task.

• Over prepare, just in case.

• Read and respond to a good portion, if not all of their emails.

• Spend extra time looking for and choosing the perfect gift or card.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section.  If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section. If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section.  If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section.  If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section.  If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section.  If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

If you are ready to live a better life and want to learn how to say no in a kind way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.

Also visit my entire People Pleasing section.  If you need more help with being too nice or your need to please, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

People pleasing is rampant. As a life and business coach, I’ve seen the need to please destroy people’s health, relationships and dreams. It begins with simply saying YES when they want to say NO. The ingrained habit runs deep. It can be a cage that people doubt they can be free of, even when the door is opened. Through the years, I’ve developed an understanding of the destructive pattern. I’ve learned it’s possible to open this cage door and walk thought it with love so that no one gets hurt.  

We say YES when inside we’re screaming NO because we believe that the three-lettered word comes bearing gifts. We believe it brings us love, peace and a reward. It’s hard to say NO to what ultimately is an addicting and disempowering habit with the expectation of receiving those three things, isn’t it? But beware. The inability to say NO shows up in our daily lives as a form of self-sabotage.

Here are Some Reasons Why we Say YES When we Want to Say NO...

To…

• Be liked.

• Avoid disappointing others.

• Feel appreciated or earn praise.

Saying YES when you want to say NO can make you feel liked or that you’re accomplishing something.  But the harm it does far outweighs these benefits.

Here are Some of the Upsides of Saying NO When you Want to...

You…

• Are liked for who you are as a person, not for giving in.

• Feel better physically without all that stress of overpromising.

• Build your self-esteem from facing and overcoming your fears.

• Impress others by not being an easy target.

• End the constant feeling of being trapped.

The reason people pleasers stay stuck in saying “yes” when they really want to say “no” is that they receive some benefit. Saying yes all the time, while potentially derailing a person’s dreams, does provide a pay off.

Here are Some of the Benefits of Saying YES When you Want to Say NO...

To…

• Be liked for giving in.

• Avoid those disappointing looks.

• Prevent whining and begging pleas.

• Keep overeating and getting physically sick from all the overpromising.

• Continue building your reputation as an easy target.

Everyone says an occasional YES when they really wanted to say NO. This list, however, is for those of us who have allowed our inability to say NO compromise our mental health, relationships, work, finances and our bodies.

Here are some Signs it’s Time to Learn How to Say NO… 

When you…

• Feel guilty if you say no.

• Usually work into the wee hours to make a deadline.

• Put saying yes on auto-pilot.

• Can’t remember when you turned someone down.

• Think saying NO is selfish.

Here’s a recap of what the video says…

I am part of a people pleasing society 
And I refuse to believe I can change my need to sacrifice my own happiness for that of others  
I realize this may be a surprise but
Happiness comes from within
Is a lie, and
Only making others happy will make me happy
It is not true that
People pleasing is just a habit and not a personality trait
I have my priorities straight because
Being perfect and likeable   
Is more important than
Self-care and self-respect    
I can say this
I will always be haunted with worry, regrets and guilt 
I do not accept that
I will live a life of my own making
In the future
Attracting abusive relationships will be the norm
I refuse to except that
People pleasing is selfish and a quick fix
It is evident that
I am never good enough no matter how hard I try
It is foolish to assume that
There is hope.
 
And all of this will come true unless I choose to reverse it.
___

As a life coach, I get emails like these every week.  
“I am going through a very difficult time filled with stress and a low mood. I am discovering that a lot of this is self-caused because I truly believe I am a chronic people pleaser and it's ruining my life.  I need help desperately and want to turn my life around and start living.”

Here’s another one. 
“Vickie, I read your list of 52 traits of people pleasers and that is me!  Especially at work, I take everything personally, I want everyone to like me, and I go out of my way to pacify people. If I do confront them, I end up apologizing for "getting out of control!"  I need help. 
 
Can you identify with these people at all?  Even if it's just a smidgen, you probably know there's a better way to live.  If you are fed up with your chronic niceness and need to please, watch my video series on Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing- Saying Yes When You Want to Say No.

I’m not stupid. I know that a people pleaser’s worst fear is to be called selfish. People pleasers rearrange their whole lives so they will not be regarded as selfish. Well, people pleaser, listen up: You. Are. Selfish.  At least consider the possibility that you may have selfish, self-absorbed tendencies by reading and thinking about this.

It’s as scary as the vampires populating the movie screens and books. And just as seductive: It’s the darkside of needing to please.
 
A coaching client of mine said she couldn’t see any value in not being too nice until I bluntly explained the huge and scary disadvantages to her. She is now working on stopping this nasty habit.
 

So here it is as bold and in your face as I can make it…

People Pleasers…

This is the year you’ve decided that you’re going to live your dreams, accomplish those set-aside career aspirations and strengthen your relationships. But if you have a need to please – especially at work – it ain’t gonna happen. Know the signs of a People Pleaser at work. If you recognize yourself in the following examples, it’s time to stop. It’s time to change your reactions. It’s time to remember what you really want for yourself.

When you…

• Say yes to practically any task anyone needs done just to be “liked.”

Either you read some of my previous blogs on being a chronic people pleaser or you self-diagnosed. But you’re ready to do something about it because the people-pleasing habit had wrought havoc on either your health, professional or personal life – maybe all three. Let’s get started!
 

1 Make your goal in life to be happy instead of being perfect.

2 Make today the first day of the rest of your life and forget your past mistakes.

3 Appreciate what you did right every day. Understand? Did right. Don’t beat yourself up with your woulda, coulda shoulda lists.

Are you staying at the office longer than anyone else? Do you keep getting passed up for promotions? Did you raise kids that feel they are entitled? Did you get a divorce and still don’t have a clue why? 

It’s easy to think nothing about our “people pleasing.” We might even think of it as kind of “endearing. “

Well, all I can say is that I have coached hundreds of women who have let their need to please ruin various aspects of their lives, whether it was their health, finances, careers, or relationships.

You read in the Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers, that people pleasers as employees are going to work hard, be considerate and generally go along with whatever new direction the company plans to take. Great, right? You better think about it before you jump on that recruitment wagon.
 

Here are the Disadvantages of Hiring People who Need to Please…

They usually…

1  Tend to exaggerate situations and can get frightened easily.

2  Require lots of compliments and plenty of appreciation, because they base their self-esteem on what they do for others.

People who need to please as employees appear to have many positive traits. They’re not going make trouble, they keep their head down, nose to the grindstone, go along and get along and embody many more cliches about working hard.  See if you recognize any employees you’ve hired or even aspects of yourself in this listing of advantages to hiring people pleasers.
 

Here are the Great Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers…

They are usually…

1  Easily liked by co-workers, clients, and anyone else that walks in your door.

2  Courteous and considerate of others at all times.

Yep, you’ve identified yourself as a people pleaser. Now what? Make the decision to stop the need to please. Not just for yourself – as that’s hard to do for a people pleaser  –  but for everyone else you love. The reasons for ending the cycle of people pleasing, exhaustion and self-defeat can show you the path to a better, more fulfilling life.
 

Here are Reasons We Would Want to End Our Need to Please…

When we…

1   Never really feel good about ourselves no matter how much we do for others.