Posts Tagged ‘Need to please’
Yes, there are some good points having the need to please when running a home based business. And there are lots of small business owners who could learn from them, especially in the area of customer service.
Here’s Some of the Benefits of Being a People Pleasing Entrepreneur-
People Pleasers tend to…
Give clients more than they ask for.
Save money by not hiring helpers to assist them.
Stay motivated. Unfortunately it’s mainly by the fear of not pleasing others. Nevertheless, they do stay motivated.
Easily make clients feel like they are important.
Every entrepreneur has obstacles to overcome and the people pleasers or niceaholics that operate a home-based business are no exception.
Here’s Some of the Disadvantages of People Pleasing Solopreneurs-
People Pleasers have a tendency to…
Think the solution to most of their problems is to buckle down and work harder.
Let clients over extend their deadlines.
Worry far too much about what the client will think.
Take on challenges outside their area of expertise just to please their customers.
Underestimate the time it takes to accomplish a task.
I found out several publications picked up the article, Are you a Niceaholic? My virtual assistant and consultant, Kathy Church, who is also featured in the article, found that among others the Los Angeles Times, The Baltimore Sun, and the Orlando Sentinel ran it so far. Thank God for syndication. You wouldn’t believe how my website Google Analytics has gone up.
Take a look, if you haven’t seen it yet…
(I’m on page 2 ) Los Angeles Times
I’m not stupid. I know that a people pleaser’s worst fear is to be called selfish. People pleasers rearrange their whole lives so they will not be regarded as selfish. Well, people pleaser, listen up: You. Are. Selfish. At least consider the possibility that you may have selfish, self-absorbed tendencies by reading and thinking about this.
It’s as scary as the vampires populating the movie screens and books. And just as seductive: It’s the darkside of needing to please.
A coaching client of mine said she couldn’t see any value in not being too nice until I bluntly explained the huge and scary disadvantages to her. She is now working on stopping this nasty habit.
So here it is as bold and in your face as I can make it…
This is the year you’ve decided that you’re going to live your dreams, accomplish those set-aside career aspirations and strengthen your relationships. But if you have a need to please – especially at work – it ain’t gonna happen. Know the signs of a People Pleaser at work. If you recognize yourself in the following examples, it’s time to stop. It’s time to change your reactions. It’s time to remember what you really want for yourself.
Say yes to practically any task anyone needs done just to be “liked.”
Either you read some of my previous blogs on being a chronic people pleaser or you self-diagnosed. But you’re ready to do something about it because the people-pleasing habit had wrought havoc on either your health, professional or personal life – maybe all three. Let’s get started!
1 Make your goal in life to be happy instead of being perfect.
2 Make today the first day of the rest of your life and forget your past mistakes.
3 Appreciate what you did right every day. Understand? Did right. Don’t beat yourself up with your woulda, coulda shoulda lists.
Are you staying at the office longer than anyone else? Do you keep getting passed up for promotions? Did you raise kids that feel they are entitled? Did you get a divorce and still don’t have a clue why?
It’s easy to think nothing about our “people pleasing.” We might even think of it as kind of “endearing. “
Well, all I can say is that I have coached hundreds of women who have let their need to please ruin various aspects of their lives, whether it was their health, finances, careers, or relationships.
The bigger the company, the bigger the range of personalities within it. It usually doesn’t take long to spot the ‘people pleaser.’ They can keep a company running or they can be an instrumental part of its demise.
The Worst Time to Hire a People Pleaser…
When your company…
1 Has a hard time complimenting and showing appreciation to your employees.
2 Needs to fill a leadership position.
5 Is growing so quickly and everyone needs to make some decisions.
4 Hasn’t set up policies and procedures to follow.
You read in the Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers, that people pleasers as employees are going to work hard, be considerate and generally go along with whatever new direction the company plans to take. Great, right? You better think about it before you jump on that recruitment wagon.
Here are the Disadvantages of Hiring People who Need to Please…
1 Tend to exaggerate situations and can get frightened easily.
2 Require lots of compliments and plenty of appreciation, because they base their self-esteem on what they do for others.
People who need to please as employees appear to have many positive traits. They’re not going make trouble, they keep their head down, nose to the grindstone, go along and get along and embody many more cliches about working hard. See if you recognize any employees you’ve hired or even aspects of yourself in this listing of advantages to hiring people pleasers.
Here are the Great Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers…
They are usually…
1 Easily liked by co-workers, clients, and anyone else that walks in your door.
2 Courteous and considerate of others at all times.
Yep, you’ve identified yourself as a people pleaser. Now what? Make the decision to stop the need to please. Not just for yourself – as that’s hard to do for a people pleaser – but for everyone else you love. The reasons for ending the cycle of people pleasing, exhaustion and self-defeat can show you the path to a better, more fulfilling life.
Here are Reasons We Would Want to End Our Need to Please…
1 Never really feel good about ourselves no matter how much we do for others.
Almost everybody people pleases or has the need to be liked. This list, however, is for those of us who have allowed the need to please to compromise the health of our relationships, work, finances and our bodies.
Here are 52 Ways to Recognize the Chronic, Ingrained People Pleaser…
The perpetual people pleaser…
1 Always avoid conflicts or even disagreements.
3 Constantly worries about hurting others’ feelings.
4 Has no idea what their dreams or goals are.
Whether we realize it or not, an affirmation is any thought we think over and over. Doing affirmations essentially confirms a belief. So in essence every thought that has been adopted as a belief is an affirmation of some sort. Affirmations or mantras have a reputation for being positive, but they can be negative as is the case with a chronic people pleaser.
Here are 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser…
- Whatever I do is not good enough.
- How people respond to me is important.