You don’t have to be stuck with that churning feeling in your gut called guilt. Many times we don’t even consider whether guilt is something we can overcome. We just assume we must live with it like a bad haircut. But guilt can be transformed.
 
Warning! Before you read this blog, you might want to read the blog on “What is Guilt?” so this will make more sense.
 
Remember guilt is nothing more than making up a rule or belief we think we need to follow and then breaking it.
 

Here’s what Vickie Champion talks about in this video…
 

INTRODUCTION

 
Hi! I’m Vickie Champion. I am a business and life coach who helps people listen to their “intuition” or “gut feelings.”
 
This is one of the videos in a series called “Is this your Intuition?” One of my assistants will describe a common scenario and then ask you if the person used their intuition or not? Then I’ll tell you my answer and explain “why” I came to that conclusion.

Common Reasons we use money to Relieve GUILT:

• Buying flowers for your wife because you feel ashamed for cheating on her.

• Paying for a full-time companion for your elderly mother because you feel like a bad daughter for not wanting to visit her daily.

• Sending a Christmas card to someone because they sent you one instead of mailing it because you would have whether or not they sent you one. 

• Giving to relatives who ask financial help because you feel guilty you have more money than them.

I often tell this story because it reminds me how much I need others to help open my mind and how we can sometimes transform our guilt into something positive.
 

THE STORY

Just before my grandmother passed away, she made me a bright pink and raspberry red throw for the couch. If you know me, you know bright, bold colors are not my style.

Even though I was plagued with guilt, for several years I was unable to even get it out of the bag and use it. I had so much guilt, I discussed this with my life coach at the time and she said  ”If you don’t like it, it wasn’t really made for you. You’re only supposed to deliver it to the rightful owner.”  

Because a popular topic in coaching sessions with women clients is “how to overcome guilt,” it got me thinking. Why are my women client’s plagued with this and it never comes up in the sessions with the men?

I did some research on guilt and was not surprised to see it referred to as the “women’s disease.” See if you recognize yourself or the women in your life in any of these symptoms.
 

Common Reasons Women Feel so Guilty…

Women tend to…

Feeling poorly about yourself? Like you could and should do better? Maybe it’s guilt. Guilt acts as a negative detour in your life, prohibiting you from taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself and pursuing your dreams, among other things.
 

Here are Nine Reasons my Life and Business Coaching Clients Give for Feeling Guilty…

1  Filing bankruptcy.

2  Not doing it all, being the super mom or dad.

3  Getting divorced.

4  Ending a relationship.

5  Gaining weight.

6  Not caring for your elderly parents properly.

7  Cheating on your spouse.

Women collect, feed and refuse to let them go. Men? Not so much. I’m talking about reasons to feel guilty. Women are often serial guilt-hoarders. Storing so much guilt inside their bodies and lives and then when encouraged to release some of it, they decline. In all my years as a business and life coach, the number of women struggling daily with guilt issues far out number the men.
 

Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over are…

1  Eating forbidden foods, you know, the ones full of sugar.

2  Balancing life as a working mom.

Notice how no matter what we do to relieve guilt it never fades away? It’s like a never ending cycle. I’ll explain why.
 
1 Remember, the only way we can feel guilty is to start with making up a rule we think we need to follow and then try to follow it.

Example… Loving mothers stay home when their kids are young.

 
2 We start feeling deprived.

Example… We need more money to pay the bills.

 
3 We then break the rule.

Example… We get a job.

Hey, you know that unsettled feeling in your stomach? The hang-your-head, slink-away, don’t-even-look-at-me feeling? It’s guilt. You know it when you feel it and you may even know what’s causing it. But do you know what guilt is?
 
Guilt is nothing more than making up a rule we think we need to follow and then breaking it.

Examples are:

• The rule might be “In order to lose weight, I have to stay on this diet.” Then you break the rule buying eating a piece of chocolate. This causes enormous guilt.

It’s one of those mysteries of life, a question everyone has asked in their adult life: “Where did all the money go?” Especially now with finances so tight, it seems your bank account is shrinking at an alarming rate.

And, as that balance gets smaller, the bills seem to come in faster and faster. You never have quite enough to cover everything, and then – WHAM! One of those surprise expenses hits you and sucks away all the savings you have left.