Top 10 Lists
Yes, there are some good points having the need to please when running a home based business. And there are lots of small business owners who could learn from them, especially in the area of customer service.
Here’s Some of the Benefits of Being a People Pleasing Entrepreneur-
People Pleasers tend to…
Give clients more than they ask for.
Save money by not hiring helpers to assist them.
Stay motivated. Unfortunately it’s mainly by the fear of not pleasing others. Nevertheless, they do stay motivated.
Easily make clients feel like they are important.
Every entrepreneur has obstacles to overcome and the people pleasers or niceaholics that operate a home-based business are no exception.
Here’s Some of the Disadvantages of People Pleasing Solopreneurs-
People Pleasers have a tendency to…
Think the solution to most of their problems is to buckle down and work harder.
Let clients over extend their deadlines.
Worry far too much about what the client will think.
Take on challenges outside their area of expertise just to please their customers.
Underestimate the time it takes to accomplish a task.
Whether you are in the entertainment business in Culver City, Ca., a salesperson in Mesa, Az., or looking for a new profession in Joliet, Il., are you one of those people who do everything the hard way? You don’t have to.
Our intuition can be defined as a gut feeling, a sense or a knowing. Intuition can fix any career problem, eliminate our stress, give us our dream job and most of all, make the process enjoyable.
Here Are Other Signs You Are NOT Using Your Intuition with your Career…
If you find yourself…
When I started writing the “need to please” blogs, I had no idea how popular that topic would be. In fact the #1 blog gets 1200-2000 visitors every month since it was first posted in April, 2011. Then the other 4 listed here are constantly in the top 10.
Here’s my Top 5 People Pleasing Blogs…
In an effort to DO IT ALL and take care of EVERYONE, people pleasers are in a chronic state of not having enough time. Not only that, but they tend to waste the time they have.
Here’s how People Pleasers Can Waste Time…
They tend to…
Underestimate the time it takes to accomplish a task.
Over prepare, just in case.
Read and respond to a good portion, if not all of their emails.
Spend extra time looking for and choosing the perfect gift or card.
We say YES when inside we’re screaming NO because we believe that the three-lettered word comes bearing gifts. We believe it brings us love, peace and a reward. It’s hard to say NO to what ultimately is an addicting and disempowering habit with the expectation of receiving those three things, isn’t it? But beware. The inability to say NO shows up in our daily lives as a form of self-sabotage.
Here are Some Reasons Why we Say YES When we Want to Say NO...
Saying YES when you want to say NO can make you feel liked or that you’re accomplishing something. But the harm it does far outweighs these benefits.
Here are Some of the Upsides of Saying NO When you Want to...
The reason people pleasers stay stuck in saying “yes” when they really want to say “no” is that they receive some benefit. Saying yes all the time, while potentially derailing a person’s dreams, does provide a pay off.
Here are Some of the Benefits of Saying YES When you Want to Say NO...
Be liked for giving in.
Avoid those disappointing looks.
Prevent whining and begging pleas.
Keep overeating and getting physically sick from all the overpromising.
Continue building your reputation as an easy target.
Everyone says an occasional YES when they really wanted to say NO. This list, however, is for those of us who have allowed our inability to say NO compromise our mental health, relationships, work, finances and our bodies.
Here are some Signs it’s Time to Learn How to Say NO…
Feel guilty if you say no.
Usually work into the wee hours to make a deadline.
Put saying yes on auto-pilot.
Can’t remember when you turned someone down.
Think saying NO is selfish.
In this economy it's easy to get caught up in the fear and put getting your perfect job on the back burner. It seems that the only thing important now is just having a job. And finding a job in a lousy economy is neither encouraging nor easy, but there is hope. Economic downturns are cyclical and things will get better so now might be the time to take a step back, listen, and consider your values, dreams and hopes for the perfect job.
Believe security and money is more important than enjoying your job.
I ask this question all the time: "What are your dreams?" Most people stare at me blankly, or fish around for something to say (and it usually has nothing to do with what they really want). After exploring their answers further, I've discovered there are certain mindsets that most people have that can subconsciously sabotage their dreams.
If you are having trouble accomplishing your dreams, look at this list…
When Debbie, one of my coaching clients, went in to work on Thursday morning, the last thing she expected was to be called in to her boss's office and reprimanded for something she didn't do. Instantly, she was consumed by feelings of agitation and worry over possibly being denied her upcoming promotion.
Every month, your bank account gets smaller, and you don't know where the money is going. You never seem to have enough to cover the bills, and there are more surprise expenses lurking around every corner. Are you frustrated, scared, and don't know where to turn for help? Do you need a miracle?
You can have one, and it is your power to give yourself. If there is one thing you could do right now that would drastically turn around your financial situation it is to make and follow a budget.
38 Miracles a Budget Can Do for You:
If you’ve read my previous blogs you can recognize the signs you’re in a bad relationship. And, hopefully, if you’re in a relationship now you can identify more than a handful of these hints that signal you’re in a good relationship.
Look forward to seeing or talking with your partner.
Laugh and act playful together.
Feel completely relaxed in their presence.
Often make eye contact.
Don’t depend on what your partner says or does to be happier.
Both have learned to give and receive affection.
This isn’t about the obvious REALLY toxic relationships. You know, the ones that are full of jealousy, abuse, overdependence, or manipulative and controlling behavior. I’ll leave that to the therapists.
Here are some not-so-obvious hints you have a bad relationship…
Have a habit of blaming each other for one thing or another.
Feel guilty and apologize at least once a month.
Stay crazy busy most of the time.
Repeatedly take things too seriously.
Feel lonely and unconnected.
Want your partner to appreciate you more.
Maybe things in your relationship could be better. And maybe your partner will come around to doing the things he or she ought to be doing. But first, are you? Are you sabotaging your relationship in small, insidious ways?
Put expressing “I love you” on auto-pilot, saying it at least once a day.
Over-apologize or expect your partner to.
Bring up past mistakes.
Strongly believe that a good relationship requires you to make sacrifices and compromises.
Are too available.
Never have an opinion on anything.
After 41 months of blogging, here are my most read blogs on business and entrepreneurship.
Top 5 Small Business Blogs…
#5. Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers
#4. Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers
#3. The Many Advantages of Being an Entrepreneur
#2. Disadvantages of Being a Women Entrepreneur
#1. The Many Disadvantages of Being an Entrepreneur
You can contact Vickie Champion at any time for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.
If you are anything like me, you’re curious about what topics others are interested in. (Seems like a lot of us are questioning our habit of needing to please.) So to celebrate my 41st month of blogging, here are my Top 10 blog posts about ordinary day-to-day life.
#10. 10 Subtle Signs You are Unhappy
I’m not stupid. I know that a people pleaser’s worst fear is to be called selfish. People pleasers rearrange their whole lives so they will not be regarded as selfish. Well, people pleaser, listen up: You. Are. Selfish. At least consider the possibility that you may have selfish, self-absorbed tendencies by reading and thinking about this.
It’s as scary as the vampires populating the movie screens and books. And just as seductive: It’s the darkside of needing to please.
A coaching client of mine said she couldn’t see any value in not being too nice until I bluntly explained the huge and scary disadvantages to her. She is now working on stopping this nasty habit.
So here it is as bold and in your face as I can make it…
This is the year you’ve decided that you’re going to live your dreams, accomplish those set-aside career aspirations and strengthen your relationships. But if you have a need to please – especially at work – it ain’t gonna happen. Know the signs of a People Pleaser at work. If you recognize yourself in the following examples, it’s time to stop. It’s time to change your reactions. It’s time to remember what you really want for yourself.
Say yes to practically any task anyone needs done just to be “liked.”
Do you want to have a higher quality of life, learn how to live better, or be more successful? Watch this and see how.
Here’s my personal advice on how to have a better life, business, or career…
1 Try FULLY PARTICIPATING or really engage in whatever you find yourself doing. It’s taking everything you do whether it’s a relationship, work, or making a budget and really getting into it.
I really believe most of our misery and discontent comes from getting into the habit of half-assing it.
I decided to share some of my tips, suggestions, and advice about running a small business or a home based business.
Here’s a summary of what is talked about in this video…
There are five areas of Small Business.
- Holding the Vision
- Finding Customers
- Implementation, which is doing the actual service or the making the product.
- Looking at the Numbers
- Building & Maintaining a Team
Even if one of the 5 areas of business is neglected than they ALL will come crashing down. They are all equally important.
It’s happening all around you. People are losing their jobs. Is it about to happen to you next? You can wait for the dreaded phone call or the email that you’re wanted in your manager’s office. Or you can become proactive and tune in to see if a pink slip is in your future.
Here Are Some Signs You Might be Laid off or Fired soon…
Absolutely dread going into work and can't wait to leave.
Complain about your job duties, your co-workers, your boss and the company to anyone who will listen.
I decided to share some of my insights, tips, solutions, suggestions, and advice about money problems, being wealthy, and financial matters.
To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel
If you have money problems, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.
I decided to share some of my insights and tips about staying healthy. It’s not your normal run of the mill advice like exercise, eat nutritious meals, get the proper sleep, take your vitamins daily, and eliminate stress. This will surprise you!
To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel.
If you are in poor health, struggling with and illness, or keep battling sickness, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.
Here’s 10 Signs we are Truly Happy…
- Forget to worry.
- Have frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
- Know what it feels like to enjoy the journey.
- Have no interest in judging others in any way.
- Have no desire to criticize our body, behaviors, or even our own thoughts.
- Lose interest in wanting to be right.
It comes up in casual conversation: Seen any good movies lately? As a matter of fact, I have. I did some thinking about the movies that I have found the most compelling, the most uplifting and the most truthful. They all illustrate some universal aspect of life and, of course, they’re entertaining.
Here’s my Top 10 Spiritual Movies…
1 As It Is in Heaven (By far the best)
3 Peaceful Warrior
4 Groundhog Day
5 The Legend of Bagger Vance
7 Field of Dreams
8 Seven Years in Tibet
If you had enough money, you’d feel better about yourself right? Not necessarily. Many times, I have found that my coaching clients use money to actually lower their self-esteem. It’s not often recognized as a tool we use to reflect the way we feel about ourselves.
You use money to lower your self-esteem…
- Keep increasing your debt.
- Spend money to relieve your guilty feelings.
- Forget to appreciate what you do have.
- Get angry with yourself over past financial mistakes.
If forgiveness were always easy the self-help section of the bookstore wouldn’t be lined with titles telling people how to do just that. Take heart and know that you’re not the only one who struggles with forgiveness. Identifying why forgiveness is difficult for you, however, could be the first step in resolving the anger issue that’s holding you back from happiness.
1 We might feel trust is broken or we’ve been betrayed.
2 We don’t want to let them off the hook.
3 We think forgiveness means that we let them in our lives again.
Either you read some of my previous blogs on being a chronic people pleaser or you self-diagnosed. But you’re ready to do something about it because the people-pleasing habit had wrought havoc on either your health, professional or personal life – maybe all three. Let’s get started!
1 Make your goal in life to be happy instead of being perfect.
2 Make today the first day of the rest of your life and forget your past mistakes.
3 Appreciate what you did right every day. Understand? Did right. Don’t beat yourself up with your woulda, coulda shoulda lists.
Are you staying at the office longer than anyone else? Do you keep getting passed up for promotions? Did you raise kids that feel they are entitled? Did you get a divorce and still don’t have a clue why?
It’s easy to think nothing about our “people pleasing.” We might even think of it as kind of “endearing. “
Well, all I can say is that I have coached hundreds of women who have let their need to please ruin various aspects of their lives, whether it was their health, finances, careers, or relationships.
You read in the Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers, that people pleasers as employees are going to work hard, be considerate and generally go along with whatever new direction the company plans to take. Great, right? You better think about it before you jump on that recruitment wagon.
Here are the Disadvantages of Hiring People who Need to Please…
1 Tend to exaggerate situations and can get frightened easily.
2 Require lots of compliments and plenty of appreciation, because they base their self-esteem on what they do for others.
People who need to please as employees appear to have many positive traits. They’re not going make trouble, they keep their head down, nose to the grindstone, go along and get along and embody many more cliches about working hard. See if you recognize any employees you’ve hired or even aspects of yourself in this listing of advantages to hiring people pleasers.
Here are the Great Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers…
They are usually…
1 Easily liked by co-workers, clients, and anyone else that walks in your door.
2 Courteous and considerate of others at all times.
Yep, you’ve identified yourself as a people pleaser. Now what? Make the decision to stop the need to please. Not just for yourself – as that’s hard to do for a people pleaser – but for everyone else you love. The reasons for ending the cycle of people pleasing, exhaustion and self-defeat can show you the path to a better, more fulfilling life.
Here are Reasons We Would Want to End Our Need to Please…
1 Never really feel good about ourselves no matter how much we do for others.
Almost everybody people pleases or has the need to be liked. This list, however, is for those of us who have allowed the need to please to compromise the health of our relationships, work, finances and our bodies.
Here are 52 Ways to Recognize the Chronic, Ingrained People Pleaser…
The perpetual people pleaser…
1 Always avoid conflicts or even disagreements.
3 Constantly worries about hurting others’ feelings.
4 Has no idea what their dreams or goals are.
Whether we realize it or not, an affirmation is any thought we think over and over. Doing affirmations essentially confirms a belief. So in essence every thought that has been adopted as a belief is an affirmation of some sort. Affirmations or mantras have a reputation for being positive, but they can be negative as is the case with a chronic people pleaser.
Here are 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser…
- Whatever I do is not good enough.
- How people respond to me is important.
I coach many solopreneurs. You know, those entrepreneurs or solo business owners that prefer to go it alone. The path can be both difficult and rewarding and I’ve noticed that successful solopreneurs often share the same tendencies.
Here are some of the Traits of a Successful Solopreneur…
1 Have no problem working an 8-hour day 5 days a week.
2 Are not afraid to make mistakes.
3 Don’t let personal matters distract them during work hours.
4 Set work priorities and follow them.
We stay in our current job, when we…
1 Are scared that nothing will replace the much needed pay check.
2 Wait for another job offer first.
3 Would feel like a failure if we did leave.
4 Are making too much money and the benefits are too good.
5 Want toprove to the management team we are good at what we do and they would miss us.
After one of my workshops, a woman approached me. I asked her if she liked the workshop. She replied: “Not really, I don’t believe in intuition because I’m a Christian.” Her answer caught me by surprise. What does being a Christian have to do with intuition? It didn’t make sense to me until I remembered what one of my bosses told me years ago, “The key to understanding anyone’s view or anything new is to first be open to learning the terms for it, then connecting the dots is easy.”
Here are 22 Ways to Describe Intuition….
1 A knowing.
One way to feel lighter, free, more optimistic and charged once again with purpose is to forgive yourself. Is there something that you’ve done or not done that you have been holding onto? If it’s time to let go of the past so you and your loved ones can proceed with a brighter future, consider these reasons for forgiving yourself today.
What you’ve done is not the reason you’re not forgiving yourself. It’s what you want to continue to do. Think about that. There’s a reason – one that you feel is pretty darn good – for continuing to hold onto that self scorn. We always think we have good reasons for what we do. And maybe we do, or did. Is it time to change your reason for not forgiving yourself? Consider these 12 benefits or excuses we have for not forgiving ourselves.
We can have an EXCUSE to…
1 Talk about ourselves with a self-condemning overtone.
She pushed me. She cajoled me. She reassured me. Blogging would help build my credibility. It would help me reach clients. It would make me a better coach.
The commitment seemed overwhelming.
Finally I relented and wrote my first blog. Today I am celebrating two and a half years in the blogosphere. Sometimes I still don’t know where I’m going when I start, but my fingers find the way. Thank you my former assistant Robin Parker – wherever you are now – for setting me on the path.
If you are anything like me, you’re curious about what people are more curious about. (Seems like a lot of us are interested in the things we’re afraid of.) So to celebrate my 28th month of blogging, here are my Top 10 blog posts about life in general. Watch for a future post about my post popular blog posts on business.
1 9 Ways to Get Out of Fear.
2 The Heaviest Movie I Have Ever Seen!
3 Do You Know What Your Dreams Are?
4 Advantages of “Being Right.”
5 Do You Have Isolation Disease?
6 Signs We Might be in Fear.
7 It Never Hurts to Start the Day Out Right!
8 The Advantages of Doing Affirmations.
9 Signs We are Feeling Unsafe.
10 38 Ways Fear Can Harm Us.
Forgiveness can be like cleaning out your closet. At first, it’s dreaded as one difficult, if not impossible, task. But once the contents have been cleared, sorted and organized, everything feels better – lighter.
Do the contents of your spirit need to be assessed? Forgiveness is one pathway toward clearing and freeing the spirit. We can say we have forgiven someone, but have we?
Here’s how to tell if you still need to do more forgiveness work-
Sometimes we think money can solve all our problems and using it to try to alleviate our guilty feelings is one of them.
Here’s Two Signs we Might be Using Money to Relieve Our Guilt…
1 Catch ourselves using words like “I need to”, “I should” I have to”, “I ought to,” and I’ve got to.”
Common Reasons we use money to Relieve GUILT:
- Buying flowers for your wife because you feel ashamed for cheating on her.
- Paying for a full-time companion for your elderly mother because you feel like a bad daughter for not wanting to visit her daily.
- Sending a Christmas card to someone because they sent you one instead of mailing it because you would have whether or not they sent you one.
- Giving to relatives who ask financial help because you feel guilty you have more money than them.
Because a popular topic in coaching sessions with women clients is “how to overcome guilt,” it got me thinking. Why are my women client’s plagued with this and it never comes up in the sessions with the men?
I did some research on guilt and was not surprised to see it referred to as the “women’s disease.” See if you recognize yourself or the women in your life in any of these symptoms.
Common Reasons Women Feel so Guilty…
Women tend to…
Feeling poorly about yourself? Like you could and should do better? Maybe it’s guilt. Guilt acts as a negative detour in your life, prohibiting you from taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself and pursuing your dreams, among other things.
Here are Nine Reasons my Life and Business Coaching Clients Give for Feeling Guilty…
2 Not doing it all, being the super mom or dad.
3 Getting divorced.
4 Ending a relationship.
5 Gaining weight.
6 Not caring for your elderly parents properly.
7 Cheating on your spouse.