Blog
My Top 10 Most Popular Blogs About Life
If you are anything like me, you’re curious about what topics others are interested in. (Seems like a lot of us are questioning our habit of needing to please.) So to celebrate my 41st month of blogging, here are my Top 10 blog posts about ordinary day-to-day life.
#10. 10 Subtle Signs You are Unhappy
#9. 12 Ways to Stop People Pleasing
#8. 10 Popular Things Women Feel Guilty Over
#7. How to Get Rid of Feeling Guilty
#6. 6 Things Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize
#5. 6 Reasons Women Feel So Guilty
#4. 8 Signs You Have NOT Forgiven Someone
#3. 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser
#2. 19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing
#1. 52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser
To stop that nasty habit of people pleasing, feeling guilty and just being unhappy contact Vickie Champion at anytime for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.
Share this:
How People Pleasers are Selfish!
I’m not stupid. I know that a people pleaser’s worst fear is to be called selfish. People pleasers rearrange their whole lives so they will not be regarded as selfish. Well, people pleaser, listen up: You. Are. Selfish. At least consider the possibility that you may have selfish, self-absorbed tendencies by reading and thinking about this.
People Pleasers are Selfish because they…
- Tend to make everything about themselves. Need some convincing on this one? Start by recalling all the times you apologized for things that couldn’t possibly be your fault. Like your spouse running late to an appointment or for not taking part in a work project that you weren’t even directly asked to participate in. Or maybe you spend a lot of time wringing your hands wondering if someone, even a stranger, is upset over something you may unknowingly have said or done?
- Are inclined to give only to get. Deep down inside a people pleaser believes doing for others buys them something. They usually expect to be rewarded for their kindness, mostly by appreciation, praise or security.
- Seldom, if ever, let others experience the joy of giving money or gifts or let others feel better about themselves by asking and letting them help.
- They hardly ever consider the long-term impact of what they say or do. They’re not interested in how their actions may affect someone else’s well-being down the road as long as it keeps the peace now. A people pleaser, for example, will give the boss exactly what he or she asked for, even if they know it’s not going to help the business advance. A people pleaser will encourage a friend to continue pursuing that unhealthy diet regimen because he or she believes it’s what their friend wants to hear.
- Would lie to avoid the consequences. An example would be lying when your husband asks if you went shopping to avoid his 5 minute lecture.
- Neglect people who love them to please strangers who really don’t care.
- Can carry on a relationship without actually involving the other person with things like, “I know what you will say” and “If I did this I know you will do that.”
- Let others make their decisions so they don’t have to take responsibility for them.
- Overpromise and then rarely communicate that they are running behind.
- Strongly believe they can do tasks faster and better than anyone else so they don’t give anyone a chance. Sharing their knowledge and teaching others how to do it well seldom enters their mind.
- Want to enable and fix everyone else’s lives but have little desire to fix their own.
If you got this far then one or more of those points must have clicked. Sometimes it takes looking at your worst fear and realizing its staring back at you to overcome this nasty habit of the need to please.
Other info on chronic niceness by Vickie Champion you might be interested is:
The Darkside of People Pleasing
Signs you Need to Stop People Pleasing at Work
6 Thing Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize
Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers
Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers
Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser
52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser
19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing
To stop the habit of being too nice, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.
Share this:
The Darkside of People Pleasing
It’s as scary as the vampires populating the movie screens and books. And just as seductive: It’s the darkside of needing to please.
A coaching client of mine said she couldn’t see any value in not being too nice until I bluntly explained the huge and scary disadvantages to her. She is now working on stopping this nasty habit.
So here it is as bold and in your face as I can make it…
People Pleasers…
1 Want to be “liked” so much because they absolutely loathe themselves. They are constantly criticizing themselves with every move they make, all repeating this common theme “I’m never good enough no matter what I say or do.”
2 Can be extremely dishonest and think nothing of lying to your face, all to avoid the possibility of rejection, disapproval, disappointment and being abandoned.
3 Can easily attract and stay in abusive relationships.
4 Have a tendency to be very selfish. See my blog “How People Pleasers are Selfish.”
5 Tend to surround themselves with mates, relatives, friends, employers, co-workers, and customers that take advantage of their “niceness,” and have very little, if any respect for them as a person.
6 Have a strong need to feel superior to the victims they choose to rescue and console.
7 Would rather be negative and worry themselves sick, and dream up possible nightmarish situations than be optimistic and focus on happy outcomes.
8 Are haunted by regrets and guilt.
9 Tend to give only to eventually get. They can easily become angry and resentful when they don’t receive either companionship or appreciation in return.
10 Could care less about how anything they say or do affects anyone in the long term. As long as everyone is happy and it keeps the peace now, who cares what happens down the road?
This nightmare of a people-pleasing lifestyle, is something you can wake up from. It is possible to reframe the way you look at your people-pleasing habits and to retrain your actions so your life is no longer something to be feared, but embraced.
Other info on chronic niceness by Vickie Champion you might be interested is:
Signs you Need to Stop People Pleasing at Work
6 Thing Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize
Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers
Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers
Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser
52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser
19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing
To stop the nasty habit of people pleasing and the need to be liked, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.
Share this:
Signs You Need to Stop People Pleasing at Work
This is the year you’ve decided that you’re going to live your dreams, accomplish those set-aside career aspirations and strengthen your relationships. But if you have a need to please – especially at work – it ain’t gonna happen. Know the signs of a People Pleaser at work. If you recognize yourself in the following examples, it’s time to stop. It’s time to change your reactions. It’s time to remember what you really want for yourself.
When you…
- Say yes to practically any task anyone needs done just to be “liked.”
- Wait to be offered a raise instead of asking for one.
- Work longer hours than almost everyone else.
- Allow fellow employees to interrupt and distract your focus constantly.
- Overprepare for meetings.
- Strongly believe that the longer and harder you work, the more they will appreciate you.
- Are comfortable functioning on overload.
- Have been bypassed for promotions but told they really value you in your current position.
- Ask for others opinions and direction on even the smallest tasks.
- Tend to rescue or make excuses for incompetent members of your team.
- Work on vacation days.
- Are getting physically ill from the long hours, stress and worry.
- Stay awake at night with stories you make up about “if I said and did this, they will say and do that.”
- Expect your boss, co-workers, and customers to appreciate you and your extra work.
- Have reviews that encourage you to be more aggressive, improve on decision making, and to be more confident.
- Are told the company will pay for a personal coach for you.
Your career goals and dreams matter. The only one who can make them happen is you. Being a People Pleaser, and putting the needs and expectations of others first may offer some immediate satisfaction. But it’s a fleeting illusion and it doesn’t lead to real joy, real peace.
Other info on chronic niceness by Vickie Champion you might be interested is:
6 Thing Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize
Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers
Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers
Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser
52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser
19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing
For more advice on being too nice, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.
Share this:
How to Have a Better Life, Business or Career
Do you want to have a higher quality of life, learn how to live better, or be more successful? Watch this and see how.
Here’s my personal advice on how to have a better life, business, or career…
1 Try FULLY PARTICIPATING or really engage in whatever you find yourself doing. It’s taking everything you do whether it’s a relationship, work, or making a budget and really getting into it.
I really believe most of our misery and discontent comes from getting into the habit of half-assing it.
2 HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. We have the choice whether to make any situation in our life, business or our career the worst thing that happened or the best that happened. It’s what we want to make of it.
3 Understand thePURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO LEARN TO LOVE, not to avoid what we don’t like.
I often hear my coaching clients saying they do love others, but it also means loving yourself the good and the bad and learning to love everything else.
To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel
If you want a better life, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.
Share this: