The Fear of Networking Events: It’s Sources & Remedies

Because you need more customers, you sign up to attend a networking event. You're running just a little late. You check the mirror one last time to make sure there's nothing between your teeth. You have your stash of business cards. Once inside you grab your drink. You take a sip and then you proceed to stare at the bottom of the glass like it's the most fascinating work of art you've ever seen. When someone finally tears you away to mingle, it's with the people you know already. And then, thankfully, it's OK to slip out without it being too awkward. Whew!
 

Later you wonder: Why don't those events ever bring me the results everyone else brags about? What's making the networking event so painful and is causing the lack of good connections is fear.

What Could We Be Afraid of About Networking Events?

We could be afraid of...

• Rejection.
• Approaching new people.
• Having to say "no."
• Not getting any results.
• Initiating a conversation.
• Others not liking us.
• Not knowing what to say.
• Bumping into competitors.
• Saying something stupid.
• Others finding out we're a fraud.

• Appearing too pushy.
• Talking too much.
• Promoting ourselves.

Why We Have the Power to Rid Ourselves of the Fear

The only thing that makes us fearful about networking events is our beliefs about them. When we change our mindset the fear disappears.

The Advantages of Not Having Fear at Networking Events

We will...

• Look forward to attending networking events.
• Find networking events are a good use of our time and worth the money.
• Have fun.
• Make really good connections.
• Realize it's one of the best ways to build self-esteem in business or with our career.

Ways to Get Out of the Fear

Below are ways I share with my business coaching and consulting clients to release the fear and get them results. Whether you use one, two or all of them, won't matter because you'll start seeing the results immediately.
 

Here are the Ways to Get Out of the Fear of Networking Events...

1. Fear is a Choice.
The easiest way to get out of fear is just by recognizing we have fear and knowing we have a choice whether we want to release or keep it. Then decide to let it go. Just say it's over.
 

2. Know we Avoid What we are Afraid of.
The tendency is to stay stuck in our same beliefs about networking events, skip out early or no longer attend them. The problem with avoiding what we are afraid of is that we never overcome the fear.

To overcome the fear we need to do it anyway. Do it in spite of the fear. I tell myself, "No matter what happens or what excuses I have, I'm still doing it," whether it's walking over to a stranger and introducing myself or staying until an event is over.
 

3. Stop Judging.
Things we could judge about the networking event...

• The event itself...    Maybe it's how many people are attending, the location, the room setup, the activities, the time or day, the temperature, or the cost.
• Others...    We might judge what others have said, what they did, or how they look.
• Ourselves...    If we have fear a large portion of our judging is focused on ourselves. Perhaps it is how we look, what we said or did, and even our attitude.

Whether we realize it or not, if we just stopped judging the fear would subside.

4. Change the "Purpose" in Your Mind of Attending the Event.

Instead of making the "purpose" to get something from the event, make the "purpose" to give something. This means we shift the purpose from "What's in it for me?" to "How can I make a contribution to this event?"
 

  What would be some things we could "give" at an event? 

• Cooperation with the facilitator
• Compliments
• A smile
• A listening ear
• Motivation or support to others
• Our time to volunteer
• Our attention to people who are alone to make them feel welcome

5 Do Affirmations.
This means we exchange a negative thought for a positive thought.

Some examples of affirmations...

• There is nothing to fear, even this event.
• I can fail at nothing including this event.
• I am loving and lovable all the time.
• I bond with everyone I meet.
• I will judge nothing that occurs during this event.

6. Stay in the Moment.
When we are afraid of networking events we are either worrying about the impact it will have on the future or we are remembering what happened at past events.
 

Signs That We're Releasing the Fear at Networking Events

When we find ourselves...

• Having fun.
• Smiling or laughing.
• Asking questions and actually listening to the answers.
• Arriving early and leaving last.
• Approaching strangers.
• Giving compliments.
• Feeling a connection with a person before swapping business cards.
• Either during the event or looking back at it, having moments of appreciation.

In Conclusion

With networking events or any event in life, the real enemy is the fear. To release it, all we have to do is be aware of when we're afraid, know the choice to stay in it is up to us and then to decide to let it go.

 
If you have more questions about networking events and speaking to strangers, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session. Also check out the group coaching sessions called Nothing Is Impossible™ for Business.