We say YES when inside we’re screaming NO because we believe that the three-lettered word comes bearing gifts. We believe it brings us love, peace and a reward. It’s hard to say NO to what ultimately is an addicting and disempowering habit with the expectation of receiving those three things, isn’t it? But beware. The inability to say NO shows up in our daily lives as a form of self-sabotage.
Here are Some Reasons Why we Say YES When we Want to Say NO…
- Be liked.
- Avoid disappointing others.
- Feel appreciated or earn praise.
- Relieve feeling guilty.
- Reduce our own stress by focusing on others’ needs.
- Feel more righteous or more capable than others.
- Be needed.
- Avoid conflict.
- Stay busy and avoid downtime.
- Feel secure.
- Stay on auto-pilot.
- Make and keep friends and acquaintances.
- Stay in your comfort zone.
- Fix others to avoid fixing themselves.
- Keep addictive behaviors like overeating.
- Blame others for our situation.
- Neglect self-care.
- Avoid appearing selfish.
- Be in control.
- Not hurt other people’s feelings.
- Keep striving to be perfect.
- Be a good person.
Saying YES to people all the time can be an act of cowardice. It keeps you in your own comfort instead of living your truth. When you’re ready to stop the chronic people pleasing and learn to say no in a gentle way, check out my Painless Ways to Stop People Pleasing—How to Say NO and Still be Kind video series.
By Vickie Champion