This is the year you’ve decided that you’re going to live your dreams, accomplish those set-aside career aspirations and strengthen your relationships. But if you have a need to please – especially at work – it ain’t gonna happen. Know the signs of a People Pleaser at work. If you recognize yourself in the following examples, it’s time to stop. It’s time to change your reactions. It’s time to remember what you really want for yourself.
- Say yes to practically any task anyone needs done just to be “liked.”
- Wait to be offered a raise instead of asking for one.
- Work longer hours than almost everyone else.
- Allow fellow employees to interrupt and distract your focus constantly.
- Overprepare for meetings.
- Strongly believe that the longer and harder you work, the more they will appreciate you.
- Are comfortable functioning on overload.
- Have been bypassed for promotions but told they really value you in your current position.
- Ask for others opinions and direction on even the smallest tasks.
- Tend to rescue or make excuses for incompetent members of your team.
- Work on vacation days.
- Are getting physically ill from the long hours, stress and worry.
- Stay awake at night with stories you make up about “if I said and did this, they will say and do that.”
- Expect your boss, co-workers, and customers to appreciate you and your extra work.
- Have reviews that encourage you to be more aggressive, improve on decision making, and to be more confident.
- Are told the company will pay for a personal coach for you.
Your career goals and dreams matter. The only one who can make them happen is you. Being a People Pleaser, and putting the needs and expectations of others first may offer some immediate satisfaction. But it’s a fleeting illusion and it doesn’t lead to real joy, real peace.
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For more advice on being too nice, contact Vickie Champion for a discovery coaching and consulting session.
By Vickie Champion